floatingleaf: (bookish leaf)
Finished reading Fool's Quest this morning. What do I do now??? I mean, I have several unread books at home in paper form, as well as several in mind that I've been meaning to download... but right now, I don't want any of them. I want THIS ONE. Or rather, the next one in the series - which isn't coming out until next summer. And OF COURSE, this one ends on a cliffhanger. ARRRRRGHHHHHWHYYYYYY???... How do I deal??? [livejournal.com profile] tindomerel, I need a hug. *sniff* ;)

Also, it's definitely fall now. I went out yesterday without a jacket - then ended up buying one, because it got really cold as the sun went down, and I was a long bus ride away from home. In my defense, it's a really plain and versatile (as well as inexpensive) black fleece jacket that can be worn indoors as well as outdoors, and I'm sure I'll get some use out of it. While I was at it, I also bought two nice sweaters and... a summer skirt, which was on clearance. No, I didn't need another summer skirt. Especially now. But... it was purple (in a nice geometric pattern of black, white & purple, to be precise), and it called my name. Also, it goes perfectly well with my new purple sweater - so I might even wear it with warm tights and boots and jacket, if I really can't wait.:P

I hope the heating in my building will be turned on soon. I don't have a thermometer at home, but my coconut oil has solidified - which means it must be at least as cold in here as it is inside a grocery store.:D Which is slightly below my comfort level. *shivers*

Nothing much happened otherwise. )
floatingleaf: (poppy sunset)
Apparently, it's been almost two weeks since my last update. At least that's what the calendar seems to indicate.:) I'm not sure I agree with it, but whatever. It's all a matter of perception. And perception is a huge topic for me these days.

What has kept me so busy over the past two/three weeks, other than the job search, has been following several "virtual events" I had signed up for, which consisted of interviews with various activists and experts on a variety of matters ranging from health and nutrition to spiritual growth and the environmental impact of our modern civilization. I have been listening to scientists, certified nutritionists, medical practitioners, psychiatrists, herbalists, Buddhist monks, indigenous energy healers, innovators, visionaries and people who fall under several of the above categories all at the same time. I have learned SO MUCH. It's almost an information overload - or rather an "insight overload", if that's possible. I would have preferred to spread it out more over time - but the thing with those online events is that they usually consist of a whole bunch of material that's only available for free on a very limited basis. For example, there are about 10 interviews you can watch during a 24-hour period - and if each one lasts about an hour or so... well, you do the math. Of course, you can "purchase" the entire conference, to have access to those audio or video files forever - but unless you're willing to spend a few hundred bucks, you'd better make time to listen to whatever interests you most while it's free. Which is what I did. Btw, I wouldn't have been able to catch half of that stuff if I were spending most of each day at work. Which is, perhaps, another sign that the layoff happened for a reason. Or that the timing of it wasn't accidental in the big scheme of things. Actually, if you believe some of the abovementioned esteemed speakers, nothing is ever accidental.:)

Speaking of which... I have almost finished reading Robin Hobb's Tawny Man trilogy - and it just so happens that while I was listening to all those talks on spiritual growth and development, I was also following a profoundly symbolic "hero's journey" which deals with precisely that, among other things. Coincidence? I think not. It really gives you the shivers when you see a character you love, and identify with to a large extent, undergoing a deep transformation at the same time that you think YOU might be undergoing SOME sort of transformation. But I don't even want to get started on that. It's too huge. I could spend a week explaining in great detail how incredibly awesome and meaningful those books are to me... and I can only think of one person who would care to read it. So perhaps it's better to save that for my next letter to that person.:) (In other words: [livejournal.com profile] tindomerel, brace yourself!... LOL.)

On a more mundane plane of existence, the dietary changes I've been making over the past few weeks have produced one unexpected result: my hay fever is as good as gone. Read more... )
floatingleaf: (crave)
Just checking in very briefly at the end of another "long" weekend that flew by in a blink. I did a lot of laundry, some shopping and some internet catchup.:) As well as read a good chunk of Robin Hobb's Assassin's Quest. And I feel absolutely compelled to announce that I now have a new favorite pairing: The Fool and The Idiot ([livejournal.com profile] tindomerel will know what I am talking about :D). They make my heart sing a silly rhyme. Whether they are actually a "slash" pairing is still open for discussion at this point - but I adore them either way, and that is all that matters. <333

Also, as I mentioned previously, I really don't feel like re-reading any of Anne Rice's stuff any more... and so I was thinking to myself, why isn't there an online community that does chapter-by-chapter discussions of Robin Hobb's books?... or, you know, Mary Renault. And guess what? As it happens, there is this brand new Mary Renault comm on Dreamwidth, and they are planning a group re-read of the two-novel series based on the myth of Theseus: The King Must Die and The Bull from the Sea. Now, HERE's something I'd absolutely LOVE to read again. If I can tear myself away from Robin Hobb, that is...;)

Well, that is the full extent of my pressing news at the moment. Bedtime.:/
floatingleaf: (bookish leaf)
I was incredibly productive yesterday. I cleaned the place, threw out some junk, dyed my hair AND went to see a movie. But then, by the time I got back home, it was really late and I was dead tired, and the weather was awful, and my sinuses started acting up again... so today I barely managed to get up early enough to drag myself to the 3 p.m. matinee I already had the ticket for. And I nearly fell asleep on the bus on the way there, too. Still feeling deflated, btw. So I am taking a break tomorrow. Letting myself act disgustingly lazy if that's what I feel like. I do have to get groceries, though, since Friday and Saturday I'll be too busy again... *sigh*

The movies were good, in case you're wondering. Each in its own way. I just don't feel like talking about them. Movie reviews are time-consuming, and I am too exhausted to brain properly. I should be catching up on my correspondence instead...

Incidentally, I just finished reading Royal Assassin - the second volume of Robin Hobb's Farseer trilogy. OMG what a captivating story. For the final few chapters, I couldn't put it down. But now I have a strange little dilemma due to the new and "improved" way Barnes & Noble sells its eBooks. I can no longer transfer the EPUB files from my PC to my Nook through the USB cable, like I used to do. I can read the next volume, which I have just purchased, on my PC - or on any other "connected device". But the problem is that my Nook is NOT connected. I don't have wireless - either at home, or at work (where I mostly used to read the Nook during my lunch breaks). So the only way I can keep reading stuff on the Nook (or my iPod Touch, for that matter) is if I go to a place that has free WiFi. Read more... )
floatingleaf: (window)
It is warming up slowly. I actually have the window open at the moment, since it's gotten a bit stuffy in here. But there is more rain coming and the air is quite humid, so "airing out" the place isn't helping much. I keep forgetting that the only way to "feel a breeze" inside my apartment is to turn on an electric fan...

Today I dragged my Nook Simple Touch out of the cabinet where it had languished unused for the past year or so. I still have a stack of unread books in paper form on my shelf, so I felt no urge to buy more - but then I was sort of tricked into it, LOL. See, we have this little "library" at my workplace where people bring used books and magazines, and a few weeks ago someone brought The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini. I had seen the movie, which absolutely floored me (there is a post about it somewhere in this journal, can't be bothered to look for it now), so naturally I was curious about the book - and so I started reading it during my lunch breaks. Unsurprisingly, I found it absolutely captivating. It became the highlight of my day at the office... LOL. And then, one seemingly unremarkable afternoon, I walked up to the shelf in the break room and - to my utter dismay - found the book GONE. Read more... )
floatingleaf: (vampire OTP)
Finally, I have a bit of time to make an update. I'm not sure I have the energy, though. I feel rather sluggish for some reason. I wonder if that's due to the unusual amounts of human interaction over the past few days (unusual for my uber-introverted self, that is). This year, I didn't get the chance to have a "chill out" day by myself after spending Christmas with my parents - it was right back to work the next day, and the day after I was meeting friends for dinner (which is also something that doesn't happen very often). Apparently, even such a tiny bit of "being social" wears me down.:/ Or maybe it's the weather. Or the heavy "seasonal" food I've been eating. Or a little bit of everything, perhaps...

On a more positive note (I suppose), I was absolutely inundated with gifts this holiday season. I feel humbled by everyone's generosity - as well as totally inadequate as a "gift giver", because, by comparison, it looks like I didn't put in nearly as much time or effort. Which is relative, of course, considering I fuss over everything to a ridiculous degree, and can easily spend hours browsing stores or websites for a suitable gift for someone and not finding any. Read more... )
floatingleaf: (despair)
Well... I did get my period after all. I really wasn't sure it was actually coming this time - everything felt so weird I didn't know what to think. But here it is. Read more... )

Yes, I am aware that The Hobbit movie is out already. No, I haven't seen it. I probably will, at some point, but I don't have any immediate plans in that regard. It seems I am unable to be really "into" something which is quite popular at the moment. Read more... )
floatingleaf: (nymph)
I took a day off today, since my period hit last night and I woke up feeling extremely weak and sluggish (despite having gone to bed around 10 p.m.). Luckily, it wasn't a big deal; we're still busy at work, but it's not so frantic anymore. And having a lazy morning in bed makes the whole monthly affliction much more tolerable...

The weather is still incredibly summerish - I opened the windows to air out the place a bit, and the breeze felt very warm. It even got a bit stuffy inside in the afternoon. I felt tempted to turn on the AC at one point... but I said to myself: It's MARCH, for God's sake. You don't turn on the AC in March! LOL. I didn't even take the kitchen window fan out of the closet - because, for all I know, it might still get cold again in a few days, and once the fan is put in, I won't be able to close the window. But I feel like I have to keep reminding myself it's March - the outside temperature certainly doesn't confirm it... *headshake*

In other news, I just finished reading one of my latest purchases: Fun Home by Alison Bechdel. It's an autobiography in the form of a graphic novel. In case you've never heard of Alison Bechdel, she's the author of a popular comic series, Dykes to Watch Out For. Read more... )

I have also just discovered that they totally revamped my favorite download website: Soundike.com. At first I freaked out, because I immediately thought that now they're going to start charging as much as Amazon or iTunes - but, lo and behold, they actually lowered the price! It used to be $0.15 per track - now it's $0.10 per track. Seriously... TEN CENTS. Full album for less than a dollar. It actually makes me a bit suspicious. They say they're legal, but how can that be true?... I'm not sure if I should stay away, or instead download as much as possible while this incredible deal lasts (sure it won't be forever). They have a banner up saying "Birthday Party! Only $0.10 per track!" - so perhaps it's an anniversary of the site's launch or something. Anyway... I am currently sampling the medieval/Celtic band Omnia, recommended to me by [livejournal.com profile] meathiel (btw, the track samples last a full minute now - they used to be 40 seconds). Thanks, Kerstin! It sounds lovely.:)

And now... bedtime.:/
floatingleaf: (mmm)
Today we had our annual summer outing at work - just like last year, it consisted of lunch and bowling at that lovely Italian place in a far-out suburb. I couldn't care less for bowling, but the food was exquisite, and I had entirely too much of it. *massages aching stomach* Those are the dangers of an open buffet - once you start heaping stuff on your plate, it takes a will of iron to stop before the plate is overflowing. *sigh* And, since there was still plenty of food left over after everyone finished stuffing themselves silly, they handed us a stack of plastic containers and said to take some home (they were going to throw it out anyway). I packed three boxes.:D

Oh, and btw, I had to get up at 5 a.m., because the shuttle bus they provided for those of us who don't drive was scheduled to leave the office at 7:45 (as usual, there was a company meeting before lunch). In the early morning confusion (my brain doesn't really wake up until sometime around 8 a.m.) and anxiety at the prospect of being late and keeping everyone waiting for me, I actually got to the office around 7:15. It felt surreal to be there so early. I know a lot of people at our company start work at seven... but to me that feels just WRONG on some very deep level.:P Thankfully, we have the flexibility to pick a schedule of anywhere between 7:00-3:30 and 9:00-5:30. And yes, nine is STILL a bit too early, if you ask me - but I can cope with that, at least.

I tried to take a nap after I got home around 4 p.m., but I ended up getting sucked into the tumultous universe of Jacqueline Carey's Kushiel series. I am now reading the second part in the trilogy - Kushiel's Chosen. I've been dragging this out as much as I possibly could, because I HATE to finish a great book too soon (I tend to suffer from withdrawal after I'm done ;) - but these novels are REALLY, REALLY hard to put down, even for me (the master of restraint, used to fanfic authors ending WIP chapters on nasty cliffhangers and having you wait months for the next one... LOL). The suspense is almost intolerable at times, and the plot twists make your head spin. Plus, I absolutely LOVE the characters. )
floatingleaf: (halder)
First, a link to an article on Thanksgiving and what it's really all about. Because, unlike my mother who thinks we should celebrate Thanksgiving for no other reason than that "we live in the US now and Americans celebrate it", I chose to actually inquire into the origins of said holiday and decide for myself whether I see a point in celebrating it. And, in all honesty, I do not.


So, for me, it was just a regular Sunday dinner at my parent's place.:P Which really applies to all the traditional holidays (Christmas, Easter etc.), when I stop to think about it. I don't actually "celebrate" them, as in attach any symbolic meaning to them - I spend them with my parents, because THEY care about them, and about me being there. When I was still in Poland, and my parents already here, I didn't really mind spending those days alone. I actually tried to avoid/get out of holiday dinner invitations by extended family, because I felt much more comfortable by myself, holiday or not. But that's probably just proof of my antisocial tendencies.:P

Second, there's this author meme going around. The Rules: Don't take too long to think about it. Fifteen authors (poets included) who have influenced you and will always stick with you. List the first 15 you can recall in no more than 15 minutes, and they don't have to be listed in order of relevance to you:

my list under the cut )
floatingleaf: (crave)
So, I just finished reading another book by Tanith Lee. White as Snow. Yes, it's a retelling of the famous fairy tale - but forget all about the saccharine Disney version. Forget the Brothers Grimm too, for that matter. This story is NOT for kids. Just like original, folk fairy tales were not - they had much more in common with cruel myths of primitive cultures, rife with blood and vengeance. In fact, this book combines some old, "uncensored" versions of Snow White with the Greek myth of Demeter and Persephone. So the "evil stepmother" is in fact the natural mother - who is not evil at all... just very unhappy. Read more... )
floatingleaf: (pensive Sinead)
Happy St. Patrick's to all the Irish on my flist and anyone else who celebrates it for whatever reason.:) *waves a shamrock*

I am stuck at home today due to yet another plumbing disaster. This is becoming some sort of a neverending saga: if it's not the tub, then it's the kitchen sink, and if it's neither the kitchen sink nor the tub, then it has to be the bathroom sink. This time, it is the kitchen sink. Completely clogged since last night. As in, standing water that has to be scooped out every once in a while, because yes, the dripping tap that has been "fixed" several times already is dripping AGAIN, and so the water level is actually RISING. When I got up this morning, the sink was filled almost to the brim. No way could I just leave it like this and go to work. So I took the day off (at that rate, I'm going to use up all my personal/vacation time by mid-year :/) and called building management. No one picked up the phone. I left a message. Three hours later, I called again. Left another message. No call back so far. The OTHER number I have for maintenance issues is giving me an automated voicemail saying that they're "not available" right now and that they will respond ON THE NEXT BUSINESS DAY - unless it's an emergency. Which, theoretically, it isn't - as long as I am here, scooping the water out every 3-4 hours. Fun fun fun.:/

In other news, I found this random blog entry about Tanith Lee - a British fantasy author I've been reading, on and off, for the past few years. Read more... )

ETA: I finally got a call from the building management, sometime after 2 p.m. The plumber arrived after 5 p.m. He brought several massive pieces of equipment, including a gigantic bucket, and cleaned out the mess in record time. The tap's still dripping, because this is old plumbing and the replacement parts are not that easy to obtain at a moment's notice - but at least the water is going DOWN... Hallelujah.:) I can cook now, without having to worry what on earth I'm going to do with the resulting mountain of dirty dishes (washing them in the bathtub seemed decidedly unappealing... *shudder*). So, on to make a delicious Mediterranean chicken salad (with red onion and pear slices and crumbled feta cheese and walnuts and garlic croutons and all kinds of good stuff, yay). *slurp*

Btw... the three pounds I had previously gained in a week? They're gone. Last week's nervous tension ate them. Give me just a little bit of stress, and my angsty quivering burns the calories off like there's no tomorrow. Guess when I had the best figure? Yeah, during that epically toxic saga of my first "romantic" relationship. Not a healthy way to stay in shape, by any stretch - but I certainly hadn't heard of a wholesome diet at that point in my life, and yet I was skinny as a supermodel. As well as severely neurotic, desperately disturbed and obsessively unhappy, but yeah... the looks, I had them. Not that the price was worth it or anything... but it's a fact of life for me. I only have to watch what I eat when I am in a happy, peaceful state of mind. Weird but true. Just saying.
floatingleaf: (halder)
An interesting book meme I have snagged from [profile] lady_elina:

Name fifteen books you've read that will always stay with you, and don't take too much time to think about it (the first fifteen you can recall in no more than 15 minutes). Copy this into your own post.

More or less in the order of importance - though that is, of course, subject to certain fluctuations:

1) Mary Renault, The Persian Boy (or the entire so-called 'Alexander trilogy', of which this book is the central part)

2) Mary Renault, The King Must Die and The Bull from the Sea (I am treating those as one book, because they comprise one story - a magnificently epic retelling of the myth of Theseus)

3) Mary Renault, The Charioteer

4) Jeanette Winterson, Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit

5) Jeanette Winterson, The Stone Gods

6) Anne Rice, The Vampire Lestat

7) Christopher Rice, A Density of Souls (Christopher is Anne's son, and this was his first novel and so far the best, imo - though I haven't read the latest one yet)

8) Sara Maitland, Angel Maker (this is actually a collection of short stories, but most of them had a PROFOUND effect on me, so I think it totally qualifies)

9) Cherry Potts, Mosaic of Air (again, a short story collection, significant because of the author's unique perspective)

10) Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights

11) Monique Truong, The Book of Salt (another first novel by a young author that left me open-mouthed with awe)

12) Patrick Suskind, Perfume

13) Kathryn Harrison, Poison

14) Margaret Atwood, A Handmaid's Tale

15) Alice Borchardt, 'the Wolf Trilogy' - comprised of The Silver Wolf, Night of the Wolf and The Wolf King (Alice was Anne Rice's sister, and she also wrote novels with supernatural themes - but instead of vampires, she favored werewolves ;)

Most of these are historical fiction and/or fantasy. Many have supernatural elements. Most are written with great epic skill and in unique, beautiful language. Some (notably the antologies by Maitland and Potts) retell famous mythical or biblical stories from a decidedly feminist (and/or lesbian) perspective. Most have prominent gay characters - or characters who are 'different' and/or feel excluded from society for some other reason. This is probably the essence of why these books took up a permanent residence inside my brain. Which tells you a lot about my brain, I suppose - perhaps all you need to know.;)
floatingleaf: (thoughtful)
Swiped from [personal profile] gairid and [personal profile] rainweaver13:

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you intend to read.
3) Unerline the ones you loved.

100 books under the cut )
floatingleaf: (beautiful stranger)
I was really focused on doing the right thing this past week. I cooked a lot, and exercised even more - including a VERY brisk 60-minute walk last Saturday that I can STILL feel in my thigh muscles. So when I stepped onto the scale this morning, I was probably more confident and eager to see the result than ever before.

And guess what? I didn't lose an ounce.

It was like a slap in the face, let me tell you. I almost felt like crying. Took me a moment to realize this might have something to do with the fact that I'm supposed to get my period any minute. At least that's the only rational explanation. Unless there are really no rules and it ultimately doesn't matter what I do - or don't.:|

But yeah... water retention would have that effect. It sucks to be a woman sometimes. *sigh*

On the upside, though... )
floatingleaf: (indian runner)
Okay, false alarm. I went to the proper American Airlines website, found the same flight I had found through Orbitz, and booked my tickets with no trouble there (and even slightly cheaper to boot). So it's all settled. San Francisco, see you in a month! *bounces*

Also, last night I went to see Eastern Promises again - with [profile] akashaelfwitch, to celebrate her birthday (not that we wouldn't have gone anyway...;P). I think I was much more able to focus on the movie itself this time - in Toronto, I was too overwhelmed by the whole festival experience, by having seen the 'real', 'live' Viggo right before the show, by the knowledge that he was actually sitting somewhere across the room with David and the other actors, watching the film just as we were... I was paying a lot of attention to other people's reactions too, for some reason; and I have to say that the festival audience was much more responsive than that of a dull suburban Chicago movie theater.:P I shall never forget the spontaneous applause after the bathhouse fight scene ended, for example (and I never thought I would be moved to clap my hands after seeing something as gruesome as that - but somehow I got the point). Anyway... this time, I was really watching the film, not what was going on around me; and I am even more impressed with it as a result. some mild spoilers, perhaps )
floatingleaf: (thoughtful)
Because I didn't post anything with regard to the Coming Out Day, and because I don't seem able to conquer my racing thoughts enough to pull anything worthwhile out of my own head tonight, here is an interesting quote from Richard Chamberlain, whose autobiography (Shattered Love) I read some time ago:

(...) some gay activist cowboy started investigating and publicly "outing" celebrity types. He claimed his vision was to offer up worthy role models to gay youth, but I figured his real motivation was envy, anger, and a misguided hunger for power. In any case, the ever-predictable tabloids flashed front-page headlines that I was gay, shoving me right into the middle of my darkest nightmares.

My fears were threefold. First, I was terrified that this news would alienate fans and topple my cherished career, robbing me of the work I loved and my only source of income. Second, the elaborate and pristine self-image I had created, sustained, and lived suddenly smashed into shambles around my bare feet, sharp edges drawing blood everywhere. And third, I had to begin to acknowledge and deal with my long buried self-loathing and "subjective phobia". From early youth I had absorbed our culture's general fear of any sort of gender confusion, giving my utterly harmless sexual orientation the undeserved semblance of villainy. I had to admit to myself that I was as homophobic as the public I sought to please. When we cling obdurately to our soap operas, life has a way of grabbing us by the scruff and beating the daylights into us.


I learned to dislike gay people, myself included, from my family, and from my peers, who in their youth were frantic to prove their normalcy by quite viciously rejecting anything "abnormal" in themselves and, by extension, in other children. For these kids, the term
abnormal included freckles, being overweight, and any obvious signs of intelligence. The problem with those early impressions of "goodness" and "badness" is that they root themselves so deeply in the soil of our psyches and are extremely difficult to dig out. Digging out the false sense of being "better than" is just as arduous and necessary as uprooting the sense of being "worse". But dig we must.

I don't think I have anything to add to these valuable insights; except maybe that I truly admire the openness and honesty of this self-exploration, and wish it would inspire some younger actors.;P And not just actors, of course. But obviously, being a public (and quite popular) persona makes the whole issue that much more relevant, doesn't it?

Anyway... one more quote from the same book - on a different topic this time, but just as poignant. Especially to me. Because I can relate to it so much it hit me like a sharp slap to the cheek:

(...) I had been half-consciously indulging in a lot of neurotic baggage. My unacknowledged rage at life in general (for not being at all what I wanted it to be in my early years) had from the beginning taken the form not of explosive anger, but of the passive-aggressive stance of I won't. I'd pretend to agree, but inwardly I would not cooperate. This almost total resistance to life gave me an illusory sense of control. It also kept me in a kind of living death.

Richard Chamberlain, Shattered Love


Apr. 15th, 2006 09:15 pm
floatingleaf: (beautiful stranger)
It's that time again. The time when everyone expects you to be cheerful because of some holiday that doesn't mean much to you in the first place - except for the fact that it requires spending more time with your family than you are ready to handle. Oh well. So I am being rebellious and actually still enjoying my own company at my blessed hermit's retreat... lol. Surprisingly, my parents haven't even called me yet to inquire when I'm coming - so I guess the sky won't fall on anybody's head if I show up tomorrow.;) Which of course means I won't have to spend the night there, since everybody's working on Monday (insert huge sigh of relief here). Staying most of the day at their place would be too much anyway, as far as I'm concerned - but considering I expected them to insist on my being there for the whole weekend, I guess I should just be glad I got away with tonight. And it feels like stolen time indeed. I'm just so HAPPY to be here by myself, in peace and quiet, with no roaring TV anywhere in hearing range and no forced holiday cheerfulness that my mother so compulsively imposes on everyone. Oh joy...

Yeah. Call me weird. *shrugs*

In other weird news, I am reading the autobiography of Richard Chamberlain. WTF? Well, he's one of the actors I sort of had a mild crush on as a teenager (when I still watched TV back in Poland - and the Polish TV usually showed very old foreign films back then, so most of the actors I had my crushes on were about the age of my parents... lol). So when I joined this online book club that requires you to order at least one book per month (otherwise they will send you the "editor's choice" anyway), and the only book that I thought might be remotely interesting to me in one of their monthly catalogs was Richard Chamberlain's autobiography, I ordered it. *shrugs* Read more... )
floatingleaf: (Default)
So it's happened. I have become a total m/m slash addict. And I don't even care what that means. If it really HAS to mean anything anyway...

Oh well. Whatever. So I had practically memorized all the VC fanfics I could find, quite some time ago, and now I seem to have moved into the realm of LOTR. Even though I haven't read the books themselves yet (which in a way saves me from the sad conclusion that some fanfics are better than "the original";))...

And today I pick up Tanith Lee's Night's Master - for a change, so to speak - and right in the first chapter I come upon the following astounding fragment: "(...) Azhrarn pondered the adult virgin beauty of his guest(...), caressing the ivory body, and combing with his fingers the amber hair he had cherished. The youth lay dumbfounded by ectasy beneath the Demon's touch." And on and on it goes, ending as follows: "The body of the mortal leaped and flamed and shattered in a million shudderings of unbelievable delight(...). He sank back in delirium with the taste of night, Azhrarn's mouth, upon his own."

So it's not even me looking for slash anymore - it's slash looking for me.:)) Whatever that means...

And as if all of that wasn't already quite enough, I just died right now listening to my new CD: Marc Almond's Open All Night. It killed me softly on the spot, one song after another. I am transfixed, mesmerized and catapulted into a wholly different reality.;)) (as if I hadn't been there already for quite some time.....) It's just painfully perfect: oh-so-romantic, oh-so-decadent and OH-SO-GAY... Don't get me wrong: I fully realize that at least some fragments of it are totally, shamelessly cheesy. But the point is that I don't care! I LLLOVE IT!!!!!!! It sends me floating somewhere beyond the clouds, and that's all that really matters to me...

(By the way, it may not be a full-blown masterpiece like Enchanted, but it seems even better suited to my current frame of mind. Just the titles (not to mention the lyrics) of some tracks are enough: Night & Dark, Black Kiss, Scarlet Bedroom, Sleepwalker, Midnight Soul... Mmmmm... delicious. My Orpheus in red velvet... ::bows down in worship:: And how in hell can I possibly just go to sleep tonight???)
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