floatingleaf | (no subject)

So... the car repairs will cost "only" about $600. That is pretty optimistic compared to what I was expecting. I supposedly got a discount - not that I have any way of knowing if that is indeed the case, but yeah. There are a few different things that needed fixing, so I guess it could have been worse. Also, I went to visit my parents last Sunday, and my mother randomly handed me $400 in cash. She has this new weekend job where she is taking care of a half-paralyzed guy in a wheelchair, and the family pays her well. See, I never ask her for money these days... but whenever she offers, I just take it (she would have felt offended if I didn't, but that's beside the point, somehow). I feel awkward and weird about it, but still... here's some cash, offered freely, which I can definitely use, so it's easier to just grab it than to try explaining why I don't think it's OK for me to take it (because, among other things, it won't stop me from bitching here every once in a while about my mother's overwhelming, obsessive personality and our fucked-up relationship... I just HAVE to vent sometimes, no matter how grateful I am for everything she has done for me, and this journal is a safe place to vent, so... *shrug*). Lack of moral spine is my middle name, I suppose. Anyway... this kind of postpones the imminent car-related financial disaster. At least for now...

In other news, my monthly affliction actually coincided with the full moon this time, and put me in a really weird mental state. I was over 20 minutes late for work yesterday due to extreme difficulty in dragging myself out of bed in the morning, as well as being unable to shake this long, elaborate and strangely disturbing dream I'd had. It MIGHT have been inspired by this blog I've been reading, written by a woman who was sexually abused as a child (don't ask why I read such morbid stuff; it's one of those links you accidentally stumble upon and simply can't stop following to the bitter end). Anyway... the dream had an intricate plot and a very dark, unexpected twist at the end - no vomit-inducing details, thank God, but just an overall ominous atmosphere, very reminiscent of Pan's Labirynth. And yet, it was somehow darkly beautiful - just like that movie was. An elaborate, symbolic fantasy tale for girls who don't get happy endings. *shudder* Of course, I lost all the relevant plot details as soon as I woke up - only the heavy feeling of despair, hopelessness and some sort of twisted irony remained with me for hours. WTF, brain?... Am I THAT affected just by reading some stranger's blog, or is it the full moon/hormones/whatever?... Btw, today I called in sick and had a good many hours of dreamless, healing sleep, so all's more or less fine by now. I am just a little puzzled by the heavy stuff my subconscious comes up with every once in a while. *blink*

Yeah, well. No more time for mental navel-gazing. Back to work tomorrow.:/