Floating Leaf (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
floatingleaf) wrote2010-04-03 06:45 pm
floatingleaf) wrote2010-04-03 06:45 pm
Entry tags:
a serious case of speeding brainwaves, yet again :)
So... I'll be going to my parents' house for Easter tomorrow. I'm not particularly looking forward to it, since I have to stay overnight (dad's neurologist appointment is on Monday, and it wouldn't make sense to drive back here tomorrow night only to drive back there the next day - it's over 40 miles one way, after all) - but I guess I'll find something to occupy myself. I might actually use the time to go through all the stuff in my old bedroom and decide what should go in the recycling bin - or make a dent in my sister's impressive gothic novel bookshelf.;) They do have a computer, btw, but it's situated in a very "public" area of the house - so I don't expect to be able to do much more than perhaps check my email. And I probably won't be responding to comments and stuff until Monday night or later (depending on what time I get back here etc.).
In other news, we had another company meeting at work this week, and our CEO announced that, financially speaking, we are slowly getting out of the dump and that there will be raises in July. No more than 2%, probably, but we haven't had any since 2008, so we'll take that, thank you very much. *relieved sigh* Oh, and btw: the management of my apartment building did get their act together and send me the lease renewal, only about a month late.:P And they did NOT raise my rent. I think they are very anxious to keep the tenants that they've got at this point, because there are several empty apartments in my building alone. Anyway - there is hope that my bank account will not reach negative balance.;) Unless my car breaks down again, that is - which it hasn't done in a while. *knocks on wood fiercely*
Also, I've added another wonderful recipe to my list of favorites: Mexican Sweet Potato & Black Bean Salad, with chipotle-chili dressing. OMG... yummmm.:D It has a rich taste, with just the right balance between heat and sweetness. It's also pretty quick & easy, as well as equally delicious either warm or cold. Definitely a keeper.:D
Oh, and I've finally seen Michael Moore's Sicko - but I'm not sure if I want to write about it. I would probably end up ranting for hours, and I don't really have the time. Just... the irony of my parents having immigrated here, of all possible places on earth, just so our family can have a "better life", is killing me sometimes. I mean... UK was much closer. So was France. My mom had some long-lost uncle in France, for heaven's sake. But no - in Poland, in the eighties, US was THE place to go. Everyone we knew had a relative in the US. Or somewhere in America, at any rate. We could have at least picked Canada - one of my cousins lives in Canada. But no - here we came, to the country with the most fucked-up healthcare system in the world. And yes, we have so far been much luckier than most of the people whose heartwrenching stories are told in Moore's documentary - but for how long?... Who knows? And just listening to those people in Europe talk about all the amazing benefits they take for granted: completely free, excellent healthcare; a MINIMUM of 5 weeks' paid vacation per year, even for new hires (at my company, you get 5 weeks after TEN YEARS OF SERVICE); 6 months of paid maternity leave; unlimited sick days, for heaven's sake. How can you limit sick days?, says this woman in the film. If you're sick, you're sick. Logical, no? Well... not in the US.:/ Which reminds me of one job interview I had back in 2006, where the hiring manager said: There are no sick days. You've got to be here, no matter what. (to be fair, that was a Polish-owned company, LOL) And don't even get me started on that "medical reviewer" woman who confessed before the court how she got endless raises and promotions at her health insurance company for DENYING care to people in need. Or on that $120 medicine for the lady with respiratory problems, who then bought it for about 5 cents in Cuba (!!!). And here, in this great, amazing, cooler-than-cool country a mob of miserable idiots, who can't even spell the word "moron" correctly in their own language, is hysterically protesting socialized medicine. Which they are under no threat to see anytime soon, anyway. While some of their fellow citizens are dying in the streets because of their lofty (mostly fictional by now) "freedoms". Btw, on the drive back from work a few days ago, I saw this elderly guy standing at the side of the road with a huge sign that said: OBAMA MUSLIM TERRORIST. A one-guy demonstration, as it were. How deeply insightful, grandpa. I hope you have good health insurance - because if you don't, then you are even more stupid than you look. WHY IS THE WORLD FULL OF IDIOTS, ANYWAY???... AAARRRGGGHHHH. *takes a deep breath*
Okay. That was a condensed mini-rant that just had to come out. I feel better already.:P
And one more thing, just to end on a positive note: I LOVE MY FLIST, and I love LJ in general. There are some absolutely amazing people on it. Some of my most wonderful friendships started here, and I can't think of a better way to CONNECT on a very deep level. Which reminds me of this conversation I had recently with a coworker. We were talking about the internet and various ways of online interaction, as well as being anonymous versus revealing your legal name on a public forum etc. - and I said that I usually prefer to use a nick, unless I have a deeper personal connection with someone. Whereupon my coworker stared at me like I was insane. "Deeper personal connection? Through THIS???", he asked incredulously, pointing at his computer screen. He just couldn't fathom what on earth I was trying to say. Well... I wasn't about to go into any details of fanfic porn and general awesome silliness/mental exhibitionism that goes on in these parts, LOL. So I'll just let him think that I am slightly off my rocker. And I will never tell him that my flist actually includes people who have met their SIGNIFICANT OTHER through LJ and are now LIVING TOGETHER as couples in real life, because they first had a deep personal connection through THIS.;) Just saying.
Oh, and THANK YOU for more postcards,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
dissonant_dream! They are gorgeous. Especially the one from Charlecote Park. Oh, how I'd love to live close to such a beautiful spot!... Damn, I miss Europe so much. Not just Poland by itself, but all of Europe - including places I've never been to, LOL. I miss historic areas, cultural atmosphere, my friends... everything. It's just... displacement syndrome, I has it.:(
Have to go do some cooking now. I might be able to respond to some comments later tonight, but if not, then I will hopefully catch up with them sometime next week. The main addressee of this cryptic remark certainly knows who she is.:D <333
In other news, we had another company meeting at work this week, and our CEO announced that, financially speaking, we are slowly getting out of the dump and that there will be raises in July. No more than 2%, probably, but we haven't had any since 2008, so we'll take that, thank you very much. *relieved sigh* Oh, and btw: the management of my apartment building did get their act together and send me the lease renewal, only about a month late.:P And they did NOT raise my rent. I think they are very anxious to keep the tenants that they've got at this point, because there are several empty apartments in my building alone. Anyway - there is hope that my bank account will not reach negative balance.;) Unless my car breaks down again, that is - which it hasn't done in a while. *knocks on wood fiercely*
Also, I've added another wonderful recipe to my list of favorites: Mexican Sweet Potato & Black Bean Salad, with chipotle-chili dressing. OMG... yummmm.:D It has a rich taste, with just the right balance between heat and sweetness. It's also pretty quick & easy, as well as equally delicious either warm or cold. Definitely a keeper.:D
Oh, and I've finally seen Michael Moore's Sicko - but I'm not sure if I want to write about it. I would probably end up ranting for hours, and I don't really have the time. Just... the irony of my parents having immigrated here, of all possible places on earth, just so our family can have a "better life", is killing me sometimes. I mean... UK was much closer. So was France. My mom had some long-lost uncle in France, for heaven's sake. But no - in Poland, in the eighties, US was THE place to go. Everyone we knew had a relative in the US. Or somewhere in America, at any rate. We could have at least picked Canada - one of my cousins lives in Canada. But no - here we came, to the country with the most fucked-up healthcare system in the world. And yes, we have so far been much luckier than most of the people whose heartwrenching stories are told in Moore's documentary - but for how long?... Who knows? And just listening to those people in Europe talk about all the amazing benefits they take for granted: completely free, excellent healthcare; a MINIMUM of 5 weeks' paid vacation per year, even for new hires (at my company, you get 5 weeks after TEN YEARS OF SERVICE); 6 months of paid maternity leave; unlimited sick days, for heaven's sake. How can you limit sick days?, says this woman in the film. If you're sick, you're sick. Logical, no? Well... not in the US.:/ Which reminds me of one job interview I had back in 2006, where the hiring manager said: There are no sick days. You've got to be here, no matter what. (to be fair, that was a Polish-owned company, LOL) And don't even get me started on that "medical reviewer" woman who confessed before the court how she got endless raises and promotions at her health insurance company for DENYING care to people in need. Or on that $120 medicine for the lady with respiratory problems, who then bought it for about 5 cents in Cuba (!!!). And here, in this great, amazing, cooler-than-cool country a mob of miserable idiots, who can't even spell the word "moron" correctly in their own language, is hysterically protesting socialized medicine. Which they are under no threat to see anytime soon, anyway. While some of their fellow citizens are dying in the streets because of their lofty (mostly fictional by now) "freedoms". Btw, on the drive back from work a few days ago, I saw this elderly guy standing at the side of the road with a huge sign that said: OBAMA MUSLIM TERRORIST. A one-guy demonstration, as it were. How deeply insightful, grandpa. I hope you have good health insurance - because if you don't, then you are even more stupid than you look. WHY IS THE WORLD FULL OF IDIOTS, ANYWAY???... AAARRRGGGHHHH. *takes a deep breath*
Okay. That was a condensed mini-rant that just had to come out. I feel better already.:P
And one more thing, just to end on a positive note: I LOVE MY FLIST, and I love LJ in general. There are some absolutely amazing people on it. Some of my most wonderful friendships started here, and I can't think of a better way to CONNECT on a very deep level. Which reminds me of this conversation I had recently with a coworker. We were talking about the internet and various ways of online interaction, as well as being anonymous versus revealing your legal name on a public forum etc. - and I said that I usually prefer to use a nick, unless I have a deeper personal connection with someone. Whereupon my coworker stared at me like I was insane. "Deeper personal connection? Through THIS???", he asked incredulously, pointing at his computer screen. He just couldn't fathom what on earth I was trying to say. Well... I wasn't about to go into any details of fanfic porn and general awesome silliness/mental exhibitionism that goes on in these parts, LOL. So I'll just let him think that I am slightly off my rocker. And I will never tell him that my flist actually includes people who have met their SIGNIFICANT OTHER through LJ and are now LIVING TOGETHER as couples in real life, because they first had a deep personal connection through THIS.;) Just saying.
Oh, and THANK YOU for more postcards,
dissonant_dream! They are gorgeous. Especially the one from Charlecote Park. Oh, how I'd love to live close to such a beautiful spot!... Damn, I miss Europe so much. Not just Poland by itself, but all of Europe - including places I've never been to, LOL. I miss historic areas, cultural atmosphere, my friends... everything. It's just... displacement syndrome, I has it.:( Have to go do some cooking now. I might be able to respond to some comments later tonight, but if not, then I will hopefully catch up with them sometime next week. The main addressee of this cryptic remark certainly knows who she is.:D <333
no subject
I never really wanted to go, but my other option was to basically be left on my own and probably never see them again
How does that inflicts upon your life? What do you really want to do and where would you really want to be if it´d be you own choice? Where are your own dreams? Basically, what I´m asking is; what would your life be like if YOU chose?
Do you ever get that feeling that you can relate completely to someone´s descriptions of their experiences and thoughts connected to those experiences, even though you may have never reflected on the subject or - naturally, not lived their life, or seen things through their eyes? Because I get that a lot with you, through what you reveal about yourself, through what you have written etc. I don´t know shit about what it´s like to be you and neither how life was back in Poland, or how life feels to live in the context you´re in now, in the States. But, I can relate to everything - perhaps through the small part of your character coming forth through our conversations. I have had different life experiences and yet I still somehow "get" what you mean. It´s not only with you, it has happened many times in my life - while connecting with people. For example, I used to work in senior care and it happened quite a lot – that I get that Oh yeah, know what you mean – although I naturally don´t have a fucking clue IRL. And it happens every time I read a good fic - I identify and recognize someone or something through the written experience - although I was never the one living it in first place, first person.. I´m sure you know what I´m trying to say. Like; seeing things through other people’s eyes or "knowing" an experience without having actually experienced it. Yeah, like glimpses into other people´s lives..
no subject
Yes, it was very brave and extremely difficult, and I think it traumatized her on some level. We've heard countless stories about how exhausting it was for her - both physically and emotionally. I am constantly amazed at her willpower and perseverance throughout the whole thing. Unfortunately, this is where her "martyr complex" and my "guilt complex" come into play - whenever I seem to disappoint her somehow, she (either directly ot "between the lines") reminds me what she went through, just so I (and my sister) could have a better life. And then it suddenly seems very wrong and heartless to disagree with her about anything. The look in her eyes says very clearly: I did this for YOU, why aren't you happy??? So it's very difficult for me to be objective about the whole thing: on one level, I have endless admiration for her, but on another, I resent the fact that she seems to resent that I am not like her, not capable of such profound sacrifices, or even of appreciating them, somehow. I feel like I can never measure up, and I envy people whose parents are content with them being less than perfect. *sigh*
How does that inflicts upon your life? What do you really want to do and where would you really want to be if it´d be you own choice? Where are your own dreams? Basically, what I´m asking is; what would your life be like if YOU chose?
The thing is, I don't really know. See, I've never had a plan for life. I don't think it's necessary to have one. I just want peace and quiet and relative physical/emotional comfort, some meaningful connections with people and the opportunity to pursue my interests, whatever they happen to be at the moment. I don't feel the need to "achieve" anything - and that, according to my mother, is a serious character flaw. So I have no idea where I would be if I could choose, or if it would be any better. I always tend to "go with the flow", and it's much easier for me to determine what I DON'T want than what I do. So the one thing I know right now is that if I could pick any country to live in, US wouldn't even be on the "low probability" list. Other than that, it's a big question mark. Which maybe explains why it was relatively easy for someone who truly believes she KNOWS what's best for everyone to drag me along with her, so to speak. I simply didn't have enough motivation to resist without an alternative plan, so to speak.
Do you ever get that feeling that you can relate completely to someone´s descriptions of their experiences and thoughts connected to those experiences, even though you may have never reflected on the subject or - naturally, not lived their life, or seen things through their eyes? Because I get that a lot with you, through what you reveal about yourself, through what you have written etc.
Yes, I know what you're talking about. Sometimes something just "clicks" and you get a direct glimpse into someone else's mental space. It happens mostly with people who have a similar way of expressing themselves, either in speech or writing. I've read countless books/fics where I went Oh God, I KNOW this person - and it didn't even matter that it was a fictional character I felt so close to. There are some fics where I've felt this way about Aragorn or Legolas, for example. In fact, my own concept of these two characters developed mostly through reading other people's fanfic - but that's a whole another topic for a whole another conversation, LOL.
Anyway, I get that feeling from your writing too, even though I know very little about your life. We must be picking up the same brainwave frequencies or something.;)
Oh, and your icon is so tenderly sweet, it makes me all warm & fuzzy...<333