life goes on

[floatingleaf]

So... not much to say, I guess. Still feeling kinda dazed for reasons best left untouched, but life goes on, so to speak. Kidnapped akashaelfwitch on Sunday night to cheer me up - and we did have a surprising amount of fun watching Gimlet and The Crew (surprising because neither of these films was quite as amusing to me before...;P). Almost finished my new piece of A/L porn - need just a few final sentences to wrap it up. Received the thick FedEx envelope with all the paperwork for the new job. No call so far regarding the mysterious "site moderator" offer that sounded almost too good to be true - so I'm assuming it was. Anyway, even if they do call on Friday, I'm just going to ignore them, because it's too late to try it out without turning my back on the place where I just got hired - and I'm not going to do that. Still not sure how much I should disclose to my parents over Thanksgiving dinner, though. I could give them the good news, but since they never heard the bad news in the first place, maybe it's best to just leave it as it is. After all, at this point I don't really know if the new job is going to work out fine. I thought it would last time, and then see what happened. Actually, I did confide in my sister when she called me last week, and guess what she said, the clever little minx.;) "You're over thirty, you don't need to report every detail of your life to them. And should anything go wrong with the job this time, at least you won't have to tell them the same story twice." LOLOL So yeah. Except I'm not really comfortable with keeping up this facade every time we talk - and that is precisely why I haven't seen or called them in a month. Which I'm sure they're not happy about. So I don't really know. Anyway... that's it for tonight. Just a quick check-in to let anyone who might care know that I'm alive and relatively well. Hopefully the fic will be posted soon.:)

Comments

[slesia.livejournal.com]

Indeed, life does go on, My Leaf, but remember that a lot of what you feel, and even of what happens, depends on your attitude. It might sound silly, but I do believe that our mindset has a huge influence on our daily experiences, on what we let happen to us (both in terms of positive and negative things).

Just a quick check-in to let anyone who might care know that I'm alive and relatively well. May I state now, loud and clear, that I do care and that I wish there were a way in which I could make you feel hugged and loved!!

I don't know whether something happened (at the weekend? the meeting you were looking forward to so much?) or whether you just feel low, but I would like to remind you that you're not alone (*she says after having disappeared for several days*, but you know I'm always there ;)). I'm happy that you could spend some time with Akasha and have some fun!!

For your parents, if I may express my opinion, I think your sister is right in saying that you're old (I'd rather say mature) enough to lead you life, but I think this means that you're strong enough to be true to yourself.

I know you hate lies and hiding things (how I understand you!) and the fact that you don't feel happy with hiding stuff brings you to the point that you don't want to get in touch with your parents. They could get upset and start preaching, so what? A few hours ago, I posted on my LJ the poem Ode to a Grecian Urn by Keats, the one that says "truth is beauty and beauty is truth".

You might have to hear that they are unhappy and they might even suggest that what happened with the old job was, in some ways, a "failure" on your part (Leaf, you know very well that it was not and don't let anyone bring you to think otherwise!!); you might find out, at some point, that this job is not the answer and you might have to tell them, well, these things happen. You can cope with the events in your life and you can cope with your parents' reaction. The most important thing is that you can always look into yourself and feel right.

Trust yourself, just try.
Love,
xxxxxxxS.

[floatingleaf.livejournal.com]

It might sound silly, but I do believe that our mindset has a huge influence on our daily experiences, on what we let happen to us

Yes, I know, and it doesn't sound silly at all. It's just much easier to accept in theory than to actually use the knowledge to shape our existence, so to speak.;)

I wish there were a way in which I could make you feel hugged and loved!!

You do make me feel hugged and loved just by leaving comments like this one.:) Believe me, it really works. *hugs and loves back*

I don't know whether something happened (at the weekend? the meeting you were looking forward to so much?)

Hmmm... yes, I believe something happened. Something only I was aware of, I guess. It didn't surprise me at all - but it did bring me down nonetheless. Because it's just the same old story for me, over and over again. Letting my emotions run too high in the wrong direction, so to speak. But like I said, I'm pretty much used to it, so I'll recover.;P

Thank you for all your valuable insights and for taking the time to show me that you care. It means an awful lot.
Love,
FL :)

[oceansecrets2.livejournal.com]

After slesia's sound advice, I don't have much to offer except to say that you have *several* people who care that you're alive and well. As for dealing with your parents, "smile and nod" always works for me - if they start in one you, jut smile and nod and let it roll off your back. You don't have to spend your life trying to make them happy, and if you've come to the conclusion that isn't going to happen, then try not to let it bother you that you can't. They have their opinions, you have yours - and in the end it's *your* life and you always get the deciding vote on what happens.

I think not hearing back from the "casting" business might be for the best - I got a bad vibe about that. Good luck with the new job!

[floatingleaf.livejournal.com]

you have *several* people who care that you're alive and well

And they're amazing people too, I might add.:)

As for dealing with your parents, "smile and nod" always works for me

It's the perfect tactics, that's for sure. I've been using it sucessfully for years.;P

Good luck with the new job!

Thanks! I keep telling myself it would be against the laws of probability if things went "off course" again on this one... lol.