an extremely shameful confession

[floatingleaf]

Looks like I'm having a serious identity crisis. Sexual identity, I mean. Never mind that I already had one when I first got into reading slash. Someone explained to me then that some of the best m/m slash writers - let alone readers - were lesbians... so I figured I could still safely see myself as one.;) And so I did. But now...



I have recently joined porn_exchange, and am currently spending a large portion of my evenings downloading and watching various explicit gay sex clips. MALE gay sex - in case there were any doubts (not that I would mind some nice and tasteful lesbian porn... but I haven't seen any so far - and anyway, that's not the point of this post, somehow). It started as an experiment, out of pure curiosity - someone on my flist posted a link, so I clicked on it - but now it seems I am seriously into it, and I can't quite get over my reactions. I thought reading "romantic" porn was one thing, but actually seeing the hardcore action up close wouldn't do much for me... and hell, was I wrong. How well do I know myself, really? What's up with me? Is it because I am getting older and the hormones are going into overdrive or something? Is it because I've been single for over two years?... Is it because the so-called "lesbian" porn made obviously for heterosexual men is just plain disgusting? And the same goes for any het porn I've ever seen, btw. Why isn't gay porn disgusting then? Well, on some level it is - but still, I don't seem able to get enough. Is it a sign of personal liberation, or do I need therapy? ;D

Comments

[miladyhawke.livejournal.com]

I've created a monster! :-P

But seriously, nah, you're fine *g* I think everybody gets confused by porn at some point.

Re: lack of decent lesbian porn... I know! How annoying!

[floatingleaf.livejournal.com]

Ha! Here you are. I had diplomatically declined to disclose the fact that it was you who unwittingly dragged me down the path to utter perversity... LOL

So, um... thanks, I guess. ;P

[miladyhawke.livejournal.com]

Ha! Here you are.

My love, when perversity calls, I'll be there. I'm like the Batman of porn. Bet I seemed all respectable when you first ran into me at LAS. Didn't I? Huh? *waggles eyebrows* But now you know better ;)

I had diplomatically declined to disclose the fact that it was you who unwittingly dragged me down the path to utter perversity... LOL

Sweetie luv, I appreciate the consideration (so sweet *snuggles*), but there is never a need to be diplomatic when it comes to me! If I post it, I'm beyond embarrassment ;)

So, um... thanks, I guess. ;P

Aw, once you get over it, I'm convinced you'll think I did you a good turn ;)

[floatingleaf.livejournal.com]

Bet I seemed all respectable when you first ran into me at LAS. Didn't I?

:D As respectable as anyone who enjoys reading about the elf and the ranger rolling in the hay together... LOL

And a little more seriously - maybe I am a tiny bit surprised... but it's kind of exciting to know things like that about one's friends.;P

once you get over it, I'm convinced you'll think I did you a good turn ;)

Actually, I do think so already.:D

Milady

[slesia.livejournal.com]

Ehm, Milady,
I'm afraid you might have created 2 mosters...*g*
And u know what?

THANK YOU !!!

xxxSlesia

Re: Milady

[miladyhawke.livejournal.com]

I'm spreading my evil influence... bwahahaha!

And fancy seeing you here! Lovely :)

Re: Milady

[slesia.livejournal.com]

Poor Leaf,
I'm using her LJ for my own conversations...^_^
Still, she might enjoy reading this :)

Milady, I do hope yours is virus that will spread far and fast *g*

...and, yes, Leaf and I have started a lovely, sweet exchange of posts that is making me really happy. :D

Lol,
xxxSlesia

Re: Milady

[floatingleaf.livejournal.com]

Still, she might enjoy reading this :)

She does.;D

Leaf and I have started a lovely, sweet exchange of posts that is making me really happy. :D

Me too.:D :D :D