thinky thoughts
Oct. 3rd, 2010 11:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
floatingleafHere's another interesting website I recently discovered: http://whatprivilege.com. Plenty of thought-provoking articles on various forms of social privilege - some not easily identified at first glance, but definitely present. For example, I was really struck by this little piece on "extroversion privilege": http://whatprivilege.com/extroversion-privilege/. I am quoting almost the entire thing below, highlighting the parts that totally hit home for me.
First, a definition session since people often use “introverted” to mean shy and “extroverted” to mean friendly. Extroverts are people who need external stimulation from others. Introverts are people who are stimulated by their own thoughts and ideas, and sometimes need to limit external input because they’ve got so much going on internally.
When I tell people I’m introverted or that I enjoy time alone, I tend to get a couple of negative responses. The first is boredom, because I’m talking to an extrovert and my response to “what did you do this weekend?” isn’t providing them any external stimulation. They have every right to find me dull. [This is TOTALLY a typical conversation between me and a coworker who is a classic extrovert. When I tell him I had a great weekend, which I'd spent at home by myself, he just looks at me like I'm speaking in tongues. He basically stopped asking about my weekends a while ago... lol.] Unfortunately, society takes it one step further, inviting them to judge me as lesser because I don’t provide the stimulation they want. It’s considered normal that introverted kids who do well in school – “nerds” or “geeks” – should be bullied by extroverted jocks or popular girls. It’s considered okay to promote a less qualified employee with a “better personality” (read “extrovert”). And so on. [Story of my life, man. If I had a "better personality", I'd be making shitloads of money, like some of my extrovert friends do. And don't even get me started on school. I was the laughing stock of the class - except for the times when everyone lined up to copy my homework. And I let them, because I was afraid that if I refuse, the bullying will get worse.]
The other negative reaction I get is the assumption that I’m emotionally damaged, and that’s why I’m introverted. This assumption rests on the assumption that everyone is naturally extroverted. In fact, there’s data to indicate that extroverts and introverts may simply be wired differently; brain chemicals in introverts may simply be a lot more active than in extroverts. They’re more often in output mode than input, while extroverts are the other way around.
Furthermore, while I agree that emotional damage can lead to introversion, in my observation it leads to extraversion even more often. Ever met someone who can barely function without a romantic partner? Will lie to people to maintain friendships just so they always have someone to hang out with? Constantly steps on people to get with a “better” crowd? These aren’t exactly functional examples of extraversion. And what about functional introversion? Introverts are less likely to engage in damaging relationships because they’re content to be alone. They’re less likely to get bored and frustrated when there’s not much going on. They’re not going to create drama just to get something going on.
As I see it, the world needs both kinds of people. My theory on why extraversion is considered normal and introversion aberrant in the US is that introverts are independent thinkers, and that doesn’t make for good little consumers, obsessed with “keeping up with the Joneses”. It doesn’t make for the preferred type of voter, either – one who puts candidate likability ahead of capability. [A very interesting point, imo.] One who votes for what their friends or family vote for, instead of examining the issues. Introverts are likely to notice those rather simple solutions you’ve been avoiding out of laziness or because your real motive has yet to be revealed.
And most offensive of all, introverts don’t want your approval badly enough to torture themselves to get it. [Haha! I like that one. Not that I never tortured myself to get someone's approval, or never engaged in a damaging relationship. I can't say I haven't. But that was before I accepted my being an introvert as a fact of life and stopped thinking I am somehow required/expected to change it. And the very assumption of such requirement proves the point of this article, imo.]
And that's all for tonight. Bedtime again. *yawns*
First, a definition session since people often use “introverted” to mean shy and “extroverted” to mean friendly. Extroverts are people who need external stimulation from others. Introverts are people who are stimulated by their own thoughts and ideas, and sometimes need to limit external input because they’ve got so much going on internally.
When I tell people I’m introverted or that I enjoy time alone, I tend to get a couple of negative responses. The first is boredom, because I’m talking to an extrovert and my response to “what did you do this weekend?” isn’t providing them any external stimulation. They have every right to find me dull. [This is TOTALLY a typical conversation between me and a coworker who is a classic extrovert. When I tell him I had a great weekend, which I'd spent at home by myself, he just looks at me like I'm speaking in tongues. He basically stopped asking about my weekends a while ago... lol.] Unfortunately, society takes it one step further, inviting them to judge me as lesser because I don’t provide the stimulation they want. It’s considered normal that introverted kids who do well in school – “nerds” or “geeks” – should be bullied by extroverted jocks or popular girls. It’s considered okay to promote a less qualified employee with a “better personality” (read “extrovert”). And so on. [Story of my life, man. If I had a "better personality", I'd be making shitloads of money, like some of my extrovert friends do. And don't even get me started on school. I was the laughing stock of the class - except for the times when everyone lined up to copy my homework. And I let them, because I was afraid that if I refuse, the bullying will get worse.]
The other negative reaction I get is the assumption that I’m emotionally damaged, and that’s why I’m introverted. This assumption rests on the assumption that everyone is naturally extroverted. In fact, there’s data to indicate that extroverts and introverts may simply be wired differently; brain chemicals in introverts may simply be a lot more active than in extroverts. They’re more often in output mode than input, while extroverts are the other way around.
Furthermore, while I agree that emotional damage can lead to introversion, in my observation it leads to extraversion even more often. Ever met someone who can barely function without a romantic partner? Will lie to people to maintain friendships just so they always have someone to hang out with? Constantly steps on people to get with a “better” crowd? These aren’t exactly functional examples of extraversion. And what about functional introversion? Introverts are less likely to engage in damaging relationships because they’re content to be alone. They’re less likely to get bored and frustrated when there’s not much going on. They’re not going to create drama just to get something going on.
As I see it, the world needs both kinds of people. My theory on why extraversion is considered normal and introversion aberrant in the US is that introverts are independent thinkers, and that doesn’t make for good little consumers, obsessed with “keeping up with the Joneses”. It doesn’t make for the preferred type of voter, either – one who puts candidate likability ahead of capability. [A very interesting point, imo.] One who votes for what their friends or family vote for, instead of examining the issues. Introverts are likely to notice those rather simple solutions you’ve been avoiding out of laziness or because your real motive has yet to be revealed.
And most offensive of all, introverts don’t want your approval badly enough to torture themselves to get it. [Haha! I like that one. Not that I never tortured myself to get someone's approval, or never engaged in a damaging relationship. I can't say I haven't. But that was before I accepted my being an introvert as a fact of life and stopped thinking I am somehow required/expected to change it. And the very assumption of such requirement proves the point of this article, imo.]
And that's all for tonight. Bedtime again. *yawns*
