Floating Leaf

Today I want to share a link to a fascinating article. Yes, another one of Charles Eisenstein's essays; I'm afraid I may have become a bit of a fan. ;-P This is a brand new one, though, and it gave me some valuable insights into the huge ideological "war" that seems to be raging across the US (and global, to some extent) media and the entire cultural landscape these days. Because I am somewhat allergic to politics, I tend to feel lost in the nuances of various popular controversies, puzzling over why on earth some people say or believe the things they do. So I am always grateful for a balanced, detached, thought-provoking explanation. And Charles seems to be really good at that. That's what drew me to his writing in the first place. His ability to step back from the polarization and offer a different perspective: not from "somewhere in the middle", but from OUTSIDE the entire dichotomy. Seeing the flaws, the blind spots and the "hidden gems" on either side. As well as delivering a hopeful message at the end, despite some really uncomfortable conclusions along the way. He really gave me a lot to process... and so I feel the need to quote a few choice bits. But first, here's he entire text:

https://charleseisenstein.org/essays/from-qanons-dark-mirror-hope/

Now for the uncomfortable conclusions. He basically starts out with a rather grim vision of the future that seems inevitable - unless we, as a society, collectively take a breath and examine the sources of our respective convictions, seeing the humanity in our apparent "enemies" and honestly searching for common ground. Here are the two "grim possibilities" he envisions: (1) In a few years a new and more formidable demagogue will arise to channel the repressed forces [= Trump supporters and other right wing groups] toward a fascist coup. (2) A neoliberal corporatocracy, costumed in the garb of progressive values, will consolidate its already well-developed powers of surveillance, censorship, and control to establish a techno-totalitarian state that will attempt to repress those forces forever. But then he also says this: (1) I believe that the blind spots both sides share are more significant, and more dangerous, than their disagreements, and (2) Beneath the conflict is a hidden unity that will emerge when all parties humbly try to understand the other.

So I've been chewing on that. ( Read more... )

Holy buckets. What a day. *wipes brow*

So I decided to go get that X-ray at the ortho clinic. The website said you didn't need an appointment - but when I called to confirm this, it turned out you can't just come in for an X-ray; you need to make an appointment with one of their doctors. *sigh* So I did. Luckily, they had a same-day spot for me. Or not so luckily, after all, since apparently I couldn't have picked a worse day for trying to get around the city via public transit. ( Read more... )

I'm back. It's been an intense trip, for several reasons, and I'm sort of having a hard time figuring out what to say about it. I could just focus on the positives - but that wouldn't feel entirely honest, and this journal has always been THE place where I could be honest about pretty much anything. I don't want that to change. But I don't want to sound negative either - that would be unfair, and also dishonest, in a way. And I don't want to sound ridiculously cryptic - because if I'm gonna do that, I might just as well not post at all.

Maybe I need some time to sort through all those conflicting emotions before I even attempt a recap. Or maybe it's enough to say that online compatibility isn't quite the same thing as "real life" compatibility, and some friendships function better without crossing that line. Or perhaps the ease of online interactions has the unfortunate side effect of raising the bar impossibly high when it comes to our expectations of RL encounters. Even when we think we're being realistic.

See, that sounded negative. But I can't make a happy post just now. I probably can't even make a fair, objective one, because I am engaging a considerable effort of will in order to keep my mood from a massive downward plunge. I am sure the crisis will pass eventually, like others did before it. But I need time to adjust to these new perceptions, and I think I'd rather stay quiet on here for a bit than put the precarious emotional balance in peril by wallowing in it. Time will tell if I am overreacting again, I suppose...

Just a quick post tonight to sort of summarize my recent conclusions concerning MY LIFE. Or, more precisely, my "lifestyle". Which, I am realizing yet again, is not healthy. Because what do I do for most of the day? Well, I sit in an office and stare into a computer screen and/or type. And what do I do for most of the evening at home? Well... yeah. I stare into a computer screen and/or type. And my body/brain seem to be of the opinion that this is somehow deeply wrong. It's not that I haven't known until now that there is something wrong with that picture; it's just that I am no longer able to shrug off that knowledge and keep postponing any "lifestyle changes" until an unspecified "later" (which is what I've been doing for some years). ( Read more... )

In brief, I am trying to focus more on physical/mental health and wellbeing, and get rid of some bad habits. Which means that my internet time outside of work needs to be reduced to the bare minimum - at least on weekdays. And I am most likely not going to bother responding to LJ posts unless they talk about something I can relate to extremely well, and I can already "hear" my response forming in my mind while reading. That said, I do not intend to "unfriend" anyone unless they choose to remove me first.

That's all for now.:)

Thanks to meathiel and dissonant_dream for the blue dragons!... They're cute.;)

Winter is making its final (hopefully...) stand this weekend, and after trudging through frozen snow for most of the day running errands my legs feel weak and achy. Luckily I don't have to go anywhere tomorrow...

No other personal news to share... but there is something I've been thinking about a lot for the past few days. See, I discovered this blog on intersexuality. Also known as hermaphroditism - but the latter term is seen by some people it refers to as controversial. Anyway... the essence of the matter is that our (Western) culture tells us everyone is born either male or female, except for some extremely rare "birth defect" cases that require immediate corrective surgery. ( And that is simply not true. )

Guess what? Yesterday I received another letter from the city, regarding the aforementioned parking ticket (which the guy who bought my car had assured me he was going to pay). They explained to me that if I sold the car without removing its license plates, which were registered in my name, I might still be liable for any violations - UNLESS I can provide sufficient documentation of vehicle transfer.:/ Which, of course, I cannot provide, because I do not have it. The new owner does, but he (surprise, surprise!) ignored my request to send me a copy.:/ So I paid the damned ticket. It was only fifty bucks, after all. ( Read more... )

So, apparently I fit the definition of a clinically depressed individual pretty well.:/ (According to the two people who commented on my previous post, anyway.) Great. The first time I felt that way was back in my early twenties, when I got totally overwhelmed with life and needed a means of escape from the pressures/responsibilities of Becoming an Adult. ( Read more... )

Another mind-boggling example of how religion messes with some people's heads:

http://www.alternet.org/reproductivejustice/149022/creepy_christian_patriarchy_movement_shackles_daughters_to_their_fathers_and_homes/

As in, women AGAINST feminism. Because, you know, feminism is so very bad for you. And, apparently, God doesn't like it. Or, in other words, your daddy and your pastor don't like it - which obviously means that God doesn't like it either. *bangs forehead against the wall*

My favorite quote? (...) prime purposes of feminism are to establish a lesbian-socialist republic and to dismantle the family unit (from the pro-patriarchy website Fathers for Life). God(ess) help me!... I LOL-ed so hard I almost fell off the chair. Not that I would necessarily mind a lesbian-socialist republic... but yeah. Sometimes stupidity is so great it achieves accidental brilliance.:/

My next favorite quote (from the notorious preacher Pat Robertson): feminism is a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians. Now, kindly note the order in which said calamities are listed: "destroying capitalism" seems somehow worse and more terrifying than killing children, but "becoming lesbians" is the ultimate evil. Looks like I started my descent into darkness from the wrong end, LOL. But I often do stuff backwards, so no worries. Now can someone please tell me how to destroy capitalism?... I'd like to get that done before I move on to the witchcraft. Killing children doesn't sound appealing, so I think I'll stop there. Also, no need to leave a husband, since I never had one. See? I messed the whole thing up. I'm not even a "proper" lesbian, since I do get hetero-crushes every once in a while. Maybe I'm just not feminist enough. Because, apparently, heterosexual feminists don't exist (see above). Just like lesbians never have children or start a family. Gahhh. I think I have moved past the stage of being outraged at such vicious nonsense and achieved a state of semi-permanent hysterical amusement. It's a coping mechanism, I'm sure. Otherwise I would probably have to become a terrorist and blow something up. Like Pat Robertson's church, for example.

Yeah. Just this little tidbit to mull over on a Friday night. Will try to catch up on comments/emails over the weekend - no predictable success rate, though.;)

So we're doing another research project at work. This time, my task consists of checking various radio station websites, in order to determine whether they accept online advertising. Apart from giving me a pretty good idea about what kinds of music Americans listen to (country, mostly, it would appear, followed by hip-hop/R&B and a tiny bit of classic pop/rock here and there - so I'm not missing out on much by not listening to the radio, LOL), this project has also made me aware of a disturbingly large number of cultish-sounding Christian broadcasting entities all over the country. As in, flashing ads telling you how to find Jesus and how to see whether you're going to heaven (I wish I was kidding, but I'm not). One website had the following lovely motto: "Smile - God is watching you". It gave me the creepiest feeling of deja vu - Big Brother flashbacks, as it were. You know, from Orwell's 1984. Except this creepy, stalkish, totalitarian ultra-right-wing version of God totally wins in competition with Big Brother. Wanna know why? See, should you fall from grace, Big Brother can only torture you until you die. Stalker!God, on the other hand, can torture you for all eternity. So, point for God. That's about the only difference, imo.

Now, if you know me well enough, you are probably aware that the vicious!sarcasm mode is a sure sign of freaking out about something. So yeah, I might just as well admit that I am freaking out. I might have mentioned this before, but these past few months (years?...) of living in the US made me realize that A Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood wasn't just some outlandish futuristic fantasy (naive me - that's what I thought when I first read it years ago). It was a warning. Gilead is coming. It is being shamelessly advertised through the use of most advanced modern technology. More and more people in this country are living in a "high-tech stone age" - to quote an article I read online a few days ago. It's not some sick joke. It's real. And maybe, just maybe, like Viggo's character in Good, I am not taking it seriously enough. Because it's easier to snicker dismissively at one ridiculous indoctrinating website (or five, or twenty) than to really consider the meaning of its existence. Any rabid nonsense becomes dangerous if enough people believe in it. And as long as we still in control of our mental capacities keep dismissing it, there might come a time when there is indeed nothing left to do but smile, because someone WILL be watching. Not God, perhaps, but for all intents and purposes, we won't know the difference.

Just saying.

So I've been reading this blog... real stories of women who broke free from religious fundamentalism after years of brainwashing and abuse. I found it by pure accident - the blog's founder, Vyckie Garrison, left a comment under an article I was reading on AlterNet.org, with a link to her site. I clicked on it out of pure curiosity - and ended up getting hooked for weeks, devouring the stories with my jaw hanging open most of the time. I had never even heard of the "Quiverfull" movement - let alone that it was gaining popularity in the US these days. Get it: there are actually increasing numbers of people who willingly adopt a "biblical" lifestyle, based on the "ideal" of the wife's complete submission to the will of her husband, as well as the desire to "leave family planning to the Lord" and have as many kids as the Lord sees fit, regardless of how the endless pregnancies might impact the woman's health and wellbeing. Now, at the time when the Earth is seriously overpopulated and poverty in many countries, including this one, reaches a new low. The mind boggles. This blog is a resource for women who have been sucked into this mire and want to get away, or who are trying to find themselves after getting away - a therapeutic retreat and a warning. Click on the link below to read the introductory post by Vyckie, where she explains how the site came into being:

http://nolongerquivering.com/about/

Alarmingly, the women who end up joining this movement are in no way stupid or easily deceived. Vyckie herself, as evident from her posts, is incredibly smart, thoughtful, well-read and strong-minded - and yet, it took a suicide attempt by her eldest daughter to make her start questioning the "rightness" of the life she was leading (despite her own deteriorating health from multiple pregnancies and lack of proper medical care). The site's co-founder, Laura, is another stunning example: raised by TWO LESBIANS (can you imagine a more open-minded upbringing?...), she still somehow managed to get married to a fundamentalist guy, get locked up in an isolated farmhouse and have 11 children, who then weren't even allowed to see their grandmother until she "gave up her sinful lifestyle". Fortunately for everyone involved, Laura "recovered" (after much pain and disillusionment, of course) and is now happily married to someone else, while both her children AND her parents still have a place in her life. Other stories are less positive in outcome. All in all, an absolutely fascinating read. Sometimes I can't tear myself away even if there is new V/O fic popping up on my flist - and that REALLY is saying something.:P

In more mundane news, I FINALLY found THE RIGHT shampoo for my wayward hair. ( Read more... )