Darling, reading your post made me wince in recognition because I've been in that dark place (and I have maternal issues too), so I hope you won't mind me commenting.
The good news (honestly, bear with me!) is that it does sound very much as though you are suffering from depression and I urge you to seek treatment because you deserve to be happy and you can be. There is a lot of crap in the world, but there are great things too.
I'm not expert other than on my own mental state, so I don't know what will work for you, but as you need to 'get it out' why not try counselling? Anti-depressants may help you, so might simpler/cheaper measures like getting more daylight and taking more exercise (is there a park you can walk in nearby?), or maybe not talking to your mother, or steering the concersation firmly away from difficult areas.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-06 11:34 pm (UTC)The good news (honestly, bear with me!) is that it does sound very much as though you are suffering from depression and I urge you to seek treatment because you deserve to be happy and you can be. There is a lot of crap in the world, but there are great things too.
I'm not expert other than on my own mental state, so I don't know what will work for you, but as you need to 'get it out' why not try counselling? Anti-depressants may help you, so might simpler/cheaper measures like getting more daylight and taking more exercise (is there a park you can walk in nearby?), or maybe not talking to your mother, or steering the concersation firmly away from difficult areas.
Please try something - anything - and good luck!