I´m sorry that he has to wait to get it over with, to get to have his surgery. Wtf! It´s a long time... =( No chance with another doctor who isn´t that busy..?
Oh.. mothers with martyr complexes.. I think the world sadly is full of those. Hopefully it´s an issue belonging mostly to (or at least rooted strongly in) a few generations of women who has succumbed to bitterness over how their lives they never really dared to dream of also never really came to be. Or carrying the burden of not daring to break free from conventions. Maybe the bitterness is an identity that comes with even more fear of what could and would happen if they let go of it. I mean, they can cling to the high standards that nobody´s going to live up to, and they´re probably constantly getting very disappointed by all who can´t live up to them. Convenient too, because that way they would also not have to bother re-evaluating their standards but simply maintain them since everyone automatically is going to feel "lesser" for no reason at all. It doesn´t make it easy for people around trying to understand them I guess. And it is hard when it´s a parent projecting those feelings. We are after all somehow insnared in the bond of complex parent&child love. I hope one day she´ll be able to connect to you outside of her standards..
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Date: 2010-04-03 10:02 pm (UTC)Oh.. mothers with martyr complexes.. I think the world sadly is full of those. Hopefully it´s an issue belonging mostly to (or at least rooted strongly in) a few generations of women who has succumbed to bitterness over how their lives they never really dared to dream of also never really came to be. Or carrying the burden of not daring to break free from conventions.
Maybe the bitterness is an identity that comes with even more fear of what could and would happen if they let go of it. I mean, they can cling to the high standards that nobody´s going to live up to, and they´re probably constantly getting very disappointed by all who can´t live up to them. Convenient too, because that way they would also not have to bother re-evaluating their standards but simply maintain them since everyone automatically is going to feel "lesser" for no reason at all.
It doesn´t make it easy for people around trying to understand them I guess. And it is hard when it´s a parent projecting those feelings. We are after all somehow insnared in the bond of complex parent&child love.
I hope one day she´ll be able to connect to you outside of her standards..