more whinging, just because

So my supervisor was back from her vacation today, but she didn't talk to me at all. Nor did anyone else, for that matter. I still don't know what my "official status" is and how much longer I'm supposed to be there. All I know is that my "performance" is definitely not improving - I keep messing up stupidly, almost as though I were subconsciously punishing myself for not being up to their standards. Or punishing *them* for not seeing what a nice, wonderful person I really am.;P Yet I feel so frustrated, tense and out of place every time that happens. I need OUT of there, fast - before I drown in my own stupid paranoia and start suspecting everyone of hating me just because. *shakes head*

I guess I shouldn't have left that resume in Human Resources after all. Should have stayed where I was, as a temporary in the data entry department - where I was doing magnificently and everyone seemed to like me for no apparent reason - and now I would probably be either leaving that place with excellent references, or already starting something new thanks to the employment agency that got me there. But I listened to "good advice"... and now I have this lovely letter about my "unacceptable production" that the boss asked me to sign during our fateful meeting, and that basically gives me the choice between "deciding to become a cooperative member of the team" or "separating myself from the company" (don't you just love the US corporate language?... it sounds just as alien as this whole environment makes any emotionally developed person feel, imo). And since "being a cooperative member" implies having no human weaknesses (like making mistakes occasionally) and not needing to visit the loo more than three times a day, I guess I'll leave it to the androids to be cooperative with each other. I hope they reach a higher plane of existence by serving their corporate gods. I have learned my valuable lesson and am more than willing to move on, thankyouverymuch. *steps off soapbox*

Ooops. Didn't actually mean to indulge in another venting-post tonight. But since it seems to be the only form of autotherapy I'm capable of right now, please bear with me (or skip this post and move on to greener pastures... lol).

Speaking of greener pastures... some of my friends are actually in Toronto at this very moment, watching Alatriste. Or maybe even seeing the "real, live" Viggo afterwards. How fair is that???... *curls up into a ball and sucks thumb to keep from crying*