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another random link
Aug. 5th, 2010 11:57 pmThis is totally unplanned, but I can't resist. Here's another article. A therapist is talking about the role of innate predispositions - versus outside influences - in shaping our lives.
http://www.alternet.org/health/147676/do_our_personalities_pilot_the_way_we_live_our_lives
What compels me to post it is that the author is using her own personal experience as an example to illustrate her points, and some of those autobiographic bits gave me a few serious OMG THIS IS ABOUT ME moments. Except I never deluded myself that I could somehow become a completely different person if I tried hard enough - the way she seems to have done. I wasn't even aware that the concept of inborn "temperament" had been nearly dismissed by science and is only now making a "comeback". To me, there's nothing more obvious than the fact that some basic psychic core (or "character") is already in existence when a person comes into this world. It is then shaped by said world, obviously - to a large extent, perhaps - but even the ways it is shaped are somehow predetermined. Of course, someone could say this is a convenient excuse to justify your flaws instead of making the effort to work on them - but to me, the very fact that some people need to put this gigantic effort into overcoming something that others don't seem to have a problem with at all is proof enough. By all means, try to get a handle on the traits that are making your life difficult - but don't expect them to disappear just by sheer force of will. Telling people they are capable of that is pure bullshit. Saying: "If I can do XYZ, so can you" is bullshit too, and I apologize if I ever did that to anyone (I know I might have... lol).
But anyway... the author mentions her cat-like tendency to seek "warmth, light and solitude", and finds herself "smiling into the sunshine" while curled up on a comfy old couch with a good book, a steaming cup of tea by her side. That's me right there, basking in the golden afternoon light coming in through my west-facing windows, savoring my hard-earned peace and quiet (my rent almost equals my whole bi-weekly paycheck, so you can be sure the privacy of living alone is worth a lot to me and ranks pretty high on my priority list). And yes, just like the author, I too have a vivid memory of sitting alone in a sunlit room with a children's book in my lap when I was but a few years old. The HAPPINESS of it. 30+ years later, I can still feel it every once in a while. Funny that, isn't it?...:D
http://www.alternet.org/health/147676/do_our_personalities_pilot_the_way_we_live_our_lives
What compels me to post it is that the author is using her own personal experience as an example to illustrate her points, and some of those autobiographic bits gave me a few serious OMG THIS IS ABOUT ME moments. Except I never deluded myself that I could somehow become a completely different person if I tried hard enough - the way she seems to have done. I wasn't even aware that the concept of inborn "temperament" had been nearly dismissed by science and is only now making a "comeback". To me, there's nothing more obvious than the fact that some basic psychic core (or "character") is already in existence when a person comes into this world. It is then shaped by said world, obviously - to a large extent, perhaps - but even the ways it is shaped are somehow predetermined. Of course, someone could say this is a convenient excuse to justify your flaws instead of making the effort to work on them - but to me, the very fact that some people need to put this gigantic effort into overcoming something that others don't seem to have a problem with at all is proof enough. By all means, try to get a handle on the traits that are making your life difficult - but don't expect them to disappear just by sheer force of will. Telling people they are capable of that is pure bullshit. Saying: "If I can do XYZ, so can you" is bullshit too, and I apologize if I ever did that to anyone (I know I might have... lol).
But anyway... the author mentions her cat-like tendency to seek "warmth, light and solitude", and finds herself "smiling into the sunshine" while curled up on a comfy old couch with a good book, a steaming cup of tea by her side. That's me right there, basking in the golden afternoon light coming in through my west-facing windows, savoring my hard-earned peace and quiet (my rent almost equals my whole bi-weekly paycheck, so you can be sure the privacy of living alone is worth a lot to me and ranks pretty high on my priority list). And yes, just like the author, I too have a vivid memory of sitting alone in a sunlit room with a children's book in my lap when I was but a few years old. The HAPPINESS of it. 30+ years later, I can still feel it every once in a while. Funny that, isn't it?...:D
