![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Nov. 20th, 2010 11:55 pmSo, I just watched Requiem for a Dream. An utterly depressing film, but so amazingly well done. A true work of art. I was actually more impressed by the artistry than affected by the story itself - which might not necessarily be a good thing. Am I becoming this cold, analytic, detached movie connoiseur who only cares about the 'execution', not the content? Or is there something deliberately cold and detached about this film that elicits precisely this type of reaction?... Because actually identifying with any of the characters would be way too scary?... I don't know anymore.
But that's not really what I wanted to talk about tonight (I'm sure professional movie critics have written volumes on this one... lol). I just realized that young Jared Leto reminds me a lot of a certain Polish actor I had a massive crush on when I was 12. The actor in question was around 15-16 at the time, starring in his first film. And I was so completely, overwhelmingly in love (as only a teenage girl can be ;). I miss that feeling. That pure adoration without any expectations or demands, without a concept of a 'relationship' or what it might entail. Not needing or wanting anything other than just to see him, hear him talk, follow his every move. I wish I could still love like that, because it's the only kind of love that has ever made me truly happy.
Immature much? Perhaps. But human interactions can be so draining sometimes. And, invariably, the closer you are trying to get to someone, the more complicated it becomes. Feelings are never equal on both sides, there is never any guarantee that certain words even mean the same thing to any two people at any given time, you can never be sure that you actually know someone (and not just an idealized/distorted version of them you have created in your head) etc. Just... entirely too much of a hassle all around.;) I no longer have the stamina to deal with that, and would happily revert to pure, unquestioning teenage crushes. No expectations = no disappointment. No relationships = no breakups. No proposals = no rejections. Etc.etc.etc. Just the complete happiness of Being In Love. Ah, to be twelve again...;P
But that's not really what I wanted to talk about tonight (I'm sure professional movie critics have written volumes on this one... lol). I just realized that young Jared Leto reminds me a lot of a certain Polish actor I had a massive crush on when I was 12. The actor in question was around 15-16 at the time, starring in his first film. And I was so completely, overwhelmingly in love (as only a teenage girl can be ;). I miss that feeling. That pure adoration without any expectations or demands, without a concept of a 'relationship' or what it might entail. Not needing or wanting anything other than just to see him, hear him talk, follow his every move. I wish I could still love like that, because it's the only kind of love that has ever made me truly happy.
Immature much? Perhaps. But human interactions can be so draining sometimes. And, invariably, the closer you are trying to get to someone, the more complicated it becomes. Feelings are never equal on both sides, there is never any guarantee that certain words even mean the same thing to any two people at any given time, you can never be sure that you actually know someone (and not just an idealized/distorted version of them you have created in your head) etc. Just... entirely too much of a hassle all around.;) I no longer have the stamina to deal with that, and would happily revert to pure, unquestioning teenage crushes. No expectations = no disappointment. No relationships = no breakups. No proposals = no rejections. Etc.etc.etc. Just the complete happiness of Being In Love. Ah, to be twelve again...;P
