*sigh*

Jul. 20th, 2012 11:55 pm
floatingleaf: (green eyes)
[personal profile] floatingleaf
So, we've had a slightly cooler couple of days, but there is another heatwave coming this weekend. On Monday, it's supposed to be 99F/37C. Hopefully, I can manage to run my errands before it gets to that point...

There's so much I want to talk about, but I simply lack the energy. I find myself composing lengthy, thought-provoking posts in my head while I am at work, on the bus or in the shower, but when I actually sit down in front of the blank "post an entry" box, it's all gone. Or I realize there's never going to be enough time to pour all those thoughts out - so there isn't really a point in getting started. Story of my life, basically. *sigh*

Also, I am gaining weight, because it's too damn hot to even contemplate anything remotely resembling exercise, and I just can't be bothered to do any sort of calorie policing anymore. Yeah, you guessed it - I lack the energy. And yet, I feel terribly self-conscious about my middle-aged body, and obsessively hide the belly under ample, flowing skirts. I keep telling myself than most women over 40 have a protruding belly - except for some movie stars after plastic surgery, and perhaps yoga instructors - but still, that doesn't make it any easier to face my own rotund shape in the mirror. I know it's shallow and neurotic to be so preoccupied with this - I should worry about health, not looks, and at my age a healthy body doesn't require a flat stomach. And yet... my strong sense of the aesthetic cringes at the sight of hanging flab. Can't help it - it's a gut reaction, if you please.;D

And with this extremely uplifting, witty insight, I bid you good night.:)
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