survivor syndrome?...

[floatingleaf]

I feel so weird. I still can't quite believe that I'm not getting laid off. Not only because I had anticipated it for a few months, but because they did lay off a few people I would never have imagined I could possibly be chosen over, so to speak. I mean, I know it's about money, just like I said before - but still... The entire 'data operations' department (of which we are part) was pretty much cut in half. We had another meeting yesterday, just for those who are being retained - and I was shocked at how few of us there were. We all looked sort of wide-eyed and deflated, and the HR lady told us that we are suffering from the 'survivor syndrome' - feeling guilty about still having a job while others don't. That pretty much sums it up, I think. *nods*

Besides, I'm still at a loss about what to do with my vacation. I just thought about the annual Yaoi Con in San Francisco, which I attended last year - because there is always a chance someone I know might be there - but, unfortunately, it is only a month away, and the pre-registration is already closed, the convention hotel fully booked etc.etc.etc. Last year it happened in late October, and if that were the case now, I could still totally make it. But as it is, I don't think it makes much sense to go. I'm not a crazy enough fan to stand in line for hours in order to get my badge, lol. And I don't really know of any other fannish events this year that I could find of interest, or that any of my LJ friends will be attending. Of course, I can just spend my vacation at home - and that's probably what I will end up doing - but I could so use a change of scenery, for a few days at least... *wistful sigh*