sorry for not commenting for such a long time. But what I wanted to say is: I do understannd what you mesan about wishing not to be indebted more to your parents than you are already, and I have been in the situation where I told my mother thanks for her offer, but I wanted to pay for things myself. It was a hard process for both of us, though, to accept and go through - for me, that I had to hurt her expectations, for her, to let go of orchestrating my life, while she just wanted the best for me. To this day, I have similar fights with my sisters. So, I would encourage you to remain hard and tell your mother thanks, but no, thanks.
you know, you can give her the reasons you told here: that you can't afford the mortgage, do not want to commit yourself to such a long-time debt, AND do not like to be indebted to her more than you are already. It is your life, after all, and she ought to accept your decisions, how well-meaning ever she is in her attempt to manage things for you.
In any case, I wish you luck and cross my fingers for you in this hassle.
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Date: 2009-08-29 02:49 pm (UTC)sorry for not commenting for such a long time. But what I wanted to say is: I do understannd what you mesan about wishing not to be indebted more to your parents than you are already, and I have been in the situation where I told my mother thanks for her offer, but I wanted to pay for things myself. It was a hard process for both of us, though, to accept and go through - for me, that I had to hurt her expectations, for her, to let go of orchestrating my life, while she just wanted the best for me. To this day, I have similar fights with my sisters. So, I would encourage you to remain hard and tell your mother thanks, but no, thanks.
you know, you can give her the reasons you told here: that you can't afford the mortgage, do not want to commit yourself to such a long-time debt, AND do not like to be indebted to her more than you are already. It is your life, after all, and she ought to accept your decisions, how well-meaning ever she is in her attempt to manage things for you.
In any case, I wish you luck and cross my fingers for you in this hassle.