It's like she doesn't love me for myself, but for the hope that she might be able to change me into someone more acceptable somehow. --After many years of thinking on this, my conclusion is that it's not so much they want to change us as it is they want us to have the chances they were denied. My mom was the youngest in a large family, she wanted nothing more to be an R.N. But due to her older sisters basically wasting their chances, it was decided by the family that it wasn't worth it to lose all that money a fourth time on my mom. [Of course, Mom's brothers automatically went to college without question. Money was *never* an issue when it came to the boys.] So she wanted to be sure that I had the chance she was denied. Ironically, my getting a B.A. was a waste of time since I never had a job that made use of it.
Mom's greatest complaint was that she could never do enough for me. She never did understand that it wasn't a question of not enough but too much, and her gift was a horrendous burden of guilt. :(
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Date: 2009-09-01 12:44 am (UTC)--After many years of thinking on this, my conclusion is that it's not so much they want to change us as it is they want us to have the chances they were denied. My mom was the youngest in a large family, she wanted nothing more to be an R.N. But due to her older sisters basically wasting their chances, it was decided by the family that it wasn't worth it to lose all that money a fourth time on my mom. [Of course, Mom's brothers automatically went to college without question. Money was *never* an issue when it came to the boys.] So she wanted to be sure that I had the chance she was denied. Ironically, my getting a B.A. was a waste of time since I never had a job that made use of it.
Mom's greatest complaint was that she could never do enough for me. She never did understand that it wasn't a question of not enough but too much, and her gift was a horrendous burden of guilt. :(