You have no idea how extremely sexy I find this strength to be vulnerable AND admitting it..
Really? Wow. *heart!flutters* I never thought of it as strength, let alone being sexy... I'm just not good at hiding my emotions from people who matter - so at some point I simply decided to stop trying.:P
who is seducing who I wonder?!
Now, if we're both doing it without even consciously attempting to do it - what does that say?... *blink blink* ;)
*stares puzzled at*: I guess I could say it's good I can still surprise myself - but I'm not actually surprised, to be honest. This is so ME it's not even funny anymore - I just kind of managed to convince myself it's never going to happen again, because I'm so WISE and MATURE now and blahblahblah.
Okay. Let me try to explain. I have a history of long-distance infatuations and other "inconvenient" affairs. The probability of me developing an unhealthy fascination with someone seems to be directly DISproportionate to the person's actual "availability", for any number of reasons (for example: the wrong sexual orientation; the wrong - too distant - spot on the map; being already "taken"; not being interested in "that kind" of relationship with me etc.etc.etc.). So I've been kind of promising myself that next time, before I ever let the butterflies into my stomach, I will first make sure that there is an actual CHANCE of that situation leading SOMEWHERE. Welll... see how that turned out. *snort*
Is it better to feel less attached? Maybe I just don´t understand this right.
Ignore that part. That's just me being insecure and repeating the old mantra that I'm ALWAYS the one who cares too much and everyone else gets tired of me and wants some space. Which might not be actually true - but that's what I'm always afraid of. *bites lip*
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Date: 2010-04-06 04:00 am (UTC)Really? Wow. *heart!flutters* I never thought of it as strength, let alone being sexy... I'm just not good at hiding my emotions from people who matter - so at some point I simply decided to stop trying.:P
who is seducing who I wonder?!
Now, if we're both doing it without even consciously attempting to do it - what does that say?... *blink blink* ;)
*stares puzzled at*: I guess I could say it's good I can still surprise myself - but I'm not actually surprised, to be honest. This is so ME it's not even funny anymore - I just kind of managed to convince myself it's never going to happen again, because I'm so WISE and MATURE now and blahblahblah.
Okay. Let me try to explain. I have a history of long-distance infatuations and other "inconvenient" affairs. The probability of me developing an unhealthy fascination with someone seems to be directly DISproportionate to the person's actual "availability", for any number of reasons (for example: the wrong sexual orientation; the wrong - too distant - spot on the map; being already "taken"; not being interested in "that kind" of relationship with me etc.etc.etc.). So I've been kind of promising myself that next time, before I ever let the butterflies into my stomach, I will first make sure that there is an actual CHANCE of that situation leading SOMEWHERE. Welll... see how that turned out. *snort*
Is it better to feel less attached? Maybe I just don´t understand this right.
Ignore that part. That's just me being insecure and repeating the old mantra that I'm ALWAYS the one who cares too much and everyone else gets tired of me and wants some space. Which might not be actually true - but that's what I'm always afraid of. *bites lip*