I sort of thought to enjoy the whole thing until it fell apart. Which it might, who knows. =) But it´s ok for now, isn´t it?
See, this is the kind of approach to life I would LOVE to develop. I keep trying, lol. To just enjoy people/relationships/circumstances etc., even though they might - and most probably will, at some point - change or 'fall apart'. And I do enjoy them, don't get me wrong - it's just that, at the back of my mind, I find myself constantly anticipating the painful moment of breaking away. And the fact that I know all to well how that feels doesn't help much. *sigh*
Hearts are supposed to get scarred somehow cos that would mean we have acually allowed them to feel something. (...) I wouldn´t for my life walk around with an airbag attached to it to keep it intact.
That's a beautiful and courageous thing to say, and I essentially agree. But I'm a coward, and there aren't many things that scare me half as much as emotional pain - it fact, that's the one thing in life that truly incapacitates me. I do get over it, eventually, as I have many times - but I will never stop being afraid of it, or feeling momentarily drained of all energy at the very thought of having to go through it once again...
But would you rather not feel what you´re feeling?
No. I wouldn't want that feeling to go away, now that it's here.
Remember that angsty love-affair story at the beginning of my LJ?... Well, I don't regret it, even though it hurt like hell and took me months to recover (and might be one of the reasons I am afraid to get emotionally involved with anyone ever again). That should answer your question, I suppose.
bungyjumping doesn´t always mean ending up shattered in a parking lot
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Date: 2010-04-17 01:17 am (UTC)Which it might, who knows. =) But it´s ok for now, isn´t it?
See, this is the kind of approach to life I would LOVE to develop. I keep trying, lol. To just enjoy people/relationships/circumstances etc., even though they might - and most probably will, at some point - change or 'fall apart'. And I do enjoy them, don't get me wrong - it's just that, at the back of my mind, I find myself constantly anticipating the painful moment of breaking away. And the fact that I know all to well how that feels doesn't help much. *sigh*
Hearts are supposed to get scarred somehow cos that would mean we have acually allowed them to feel something. (...) I wouldn´t for my life walk around with an airbag attached to it to keep it intact.
That's a beautiful and courageous thing to say, and I essentially agree. But I'm a coward, and there aren't many things that scare me half as much as emotional pain - it fact, that's the one thing in life that truly incapacitates me. I do get over it, eventually, as I have many times - but I will never stop being afraid of it, or feeling momentarily drained of all energy at the very thought of having to go through it once again...
But would you rather not feel what you´re feeling?
No. I wouldn't want that feeling to go away, now that it's here.
Remember that angsty love-affair story at the beginning of my LJ?... Well, I don't regret it, even though it hurt like hell and took me months to recover (and might be one of the reasons I am afraid to get emotionally involved with anyone ever again). That should answer your question, I suppose.
bungyjumping doesn´t always mean ending up shattered in a parking lot
That's true. It doesn't.:)