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floatingleafMother nature has played a nasty trick on me this week. It gave me a 'false alarm', making me believe that my period has just started - and then put it on hold for another 48 hours. Pathetically enough, I was so convinced the nasty part of it was almost upon me that I called in sick on Tuesday - only to discover a few hours later that I was feeling fine: no cramps, no bleeding, no fatigue, no nothing. I almost thought for a moment that perhaps I was going through early menopause or something and this was it - no more menstruation, ever. I swear I would jump for joy if that happened... but no such luck. The disgusting thing simply retreated for two days, and THEN came back with a vengeance, hitting me like a freight train. And since I had already gone back to work on Wednesday, supposedly recovered from my 'illness' - I had to invent ANOTHER excuse for taking today off as well. Saying that I was feeling sick AGAIN was just too fucking embarrassing. Even if that's the sad truth. Actually, I wasn't really feeling sick on Tuesday - it was more wishful thinking than anything else, since it's much easier/more convenient to call in sick on a first workday after a holiday/weekend etc. You can simply say that you've had a cold (or some other bug) for the past 2-3 days and are still recovering from it. Sounds more believable than a sudden food poisoning/migraine etc. (which is what I usually use if my period hits in the middle of the week) Anyway... my periods have been extremely regular for the past year or so, and it seemed only reasonable to expect the same this time. And since it was due around Monday/Tuesday, and I was already feeling like it might start any minute... *sigh* Well, I'll be less sure the next time. I'll wait for the "real fun" to begin before I call in sick. Otherwise, I'd use all my vacation time (in addition to all the sick time) simply to cover these monthly joyous occasions.:/
I wish I could just ignore the thing and function like a normal person - but there's no way. And painkillers won't solve the problem, because the pain is not the worst part of it at all. It's the overwhelming sluggishness/dizziness/fatigue that really puts my life on hold during those times. For about 10-15 hours (sometimes longer) I feel so weak I can barely stand. I get utterly exhausted after just a few minutes of moving around the apartment, getting dressed, fixing myself some food etc. There is simply no point in trying to accomplish anything. I HAVE to lay down. Sometimes I don't eat for half a day or more, because even heating something up in the microwave seems to require too much effort. Not that I have much of an appetite at that time, anyway. Mostly I just doze on and off, read, drink water and drag myself out of bed to pee every now and then (far too often for my liking, but that's the only physical need I am unable to ignore). Of course, there have been times like these when I had to be "up and going" for whatever reason - but most of those occasions have been pure torture, and I would go to great lengths to avoid them whenever possible. Even if I am not lying down the entire time, it is of great importance to me to know that I CAN do it when I need to - which basically means staying home for the day, no matter what. I don't care if I have to lie and invent various excuses to assure myself of this basic comfort. I would have preferred to be able to tell the truth - but somehow I can't get past the feeling that to most people the truth would sound like an excuse anyway... so I might just as well invent a reason that doesn't make me feel embarrassed about being a woman. Strange, isn't it?... Shouldn't it be obvious to anyone that a person who's, in a way, injured (bleeding out of an open wound) is in a pretty serious condition and needs to rest to recover their strength? Or does it sound ridiculous to you when put that way? Just curious, you know.
Yeah. Another fascinating post. I'd better just shut up and go back to bed, shouldn't I? *headdesk*
I wish I could just ignore the thing and function like a normal person - but there's no way. And painkillers won't solve the problem, because the pain is not the worst part of it at all. It's the overwhelming sluggishness/dizziness/fatigue that really puts my life on hold during those times. For about 10-15 hours (sometimes longer) I feel so weak I can barely stand. I get utterly exhausted after just a few minutes of moving around the apartment, getting dressed, fixing myself some food etc. There is simply no point in trying to accomplish anything. I HAVE to lay down. Sometimes I don't eat for half a day or more, because even heating something up in the microwave seems to require too much effort. Not that I have much of an appetite at that time, anyway. Mostly I just doze on and off, read, drink water and drag myself out of bed to pee every now and then (far too often for my liking, but that's the only physical need I am unable to ignore). Of course, there have been times like these when I had to be "up and going" for whatever reason - but most of those occasions have been pure torture, and I would go to great lengths to avoid them whenever possible. Even if I am not lying down the entire time, it is of great importance to me to know that I CAN do it when I need to - which basically means staying home for the day, no matter what. I don't care if I have to lie and invent various excuses to assure myself of this basic comfort. I would have preferred to be able to tell the truth - but somehow I can't get past the feeling that to most people the truth would sound like an excuse anyway... so I might just as well invent a reason that doesn't make me feel embarrassed about being a woman. Strange, isn't it?... Shouldn't it be obvious to anyone that a person who's, in a way, injured (bleeding out of an open wound) is in a pretty serious condition and needs to rest to recover their strength? Or does it sound ridiculous to you when put that way? Just curious, you know.
Yeah. Another fascinating post. I'd better just shut up and go back to bed, shouldn't I? *headdesk*
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Date: 2010-06-04 10:40 pm (UTC)hugs
Jo
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-05 01:24 am (UTC)Oh yes. I think I'm going to throw a party when that happens.:D