things are looking up

[floatingleaf]

So here's the latest on New Zealand: due to an insufficient number of volunteers for this year's trip, my friend is postponing it until 2012. "So get ready and start saving", she said to me. Of course, a lot can happen in two years and nothing is guaranteed at this point; but I feel infinitely better.;) I feel like I have a PLAN now and time isn't just simply slipping through my fingers... if that makes sense. And a part of this plan is to get more physically fit, so I can handle hours of hiking.:) I am thinking of signing up for a yoga class or something - I know that sounds pretty mild, but I have to start small, because right now I really am just a big, soft sack'o'bones.:/ Plus, the purpose of this is not only to make myself move more, but also to force my lazy antisocial ass OUT of the apartment every once in a while and engage in some sort of human interaction. It's way too easy to find an excuse to decline if a friend invites me to go out - not that it happens very often these days, mind you - but once I pay for a class or some other sort of group activity, I will be more motivated to actually attend it. It's like with WeightWatchers - I was extremely sceptical about it in the beginning, but once a coworker talked me into it and I actually signed up, I simply didn't want to waste the money; so I paid attention and followed the guidelines and dropped the pounds in the end. Making myself exercise regularly on my own is somehow harder for me than eating right; so I probably need other people's example and encouragement to develop a steady habit. And I also need to prove to myself that I haven't lost all ability to have fun in a social context. So this would be like killing two birds with one stone, in a way (not that I particularly like this violent metaphor, but I can't think of a better one right now). If I actually do it, that is (feel welcome, dear reader, to remind me of this post and inquire about my progress every once in a while ;).

Also, I have finally watched the movie Frida - an amazing film about an amazing woman. Salma Hayek was fantabulous - and so was Valeria Golino, whom I adore, and Ashley Judd (the sexy tango OMG!!!), and pretty much everyone else. An absolutely wonderful cinematic experience, vibrant with color and emotion. I can't believe it took me so long to discover this gorgeous work of art. *headshake*

In other news, I am scandalously out of practice in the dating department. Even virtual dating, as it were. I don't seem to know what I'm doing, or what I want, or what the whole thing is really about.:P I am shocked out of my mind just by the fact that someone actually seems INTERESTED. It may look like I'm playing hard to get - but I really just can't wrap my mind around the concept. There is also a very real possibility that I actually value friendship higher than romantic love (because it's usually longer-lasting, as well as less nerve-wracking) - and might not necessarily be willing to cross the often fluid line between one and the other (I've crossed that line before, and it resulted in plenty of emotional turmoil that may have been easier to handle at a younger age, but that I don't particularly fancy now... for better or worse). Of course, I don't usually get to DECIDE whether I cross that line or not - unless it's a subconscious decision somehow - so it seems pretty pointless to theorize about it, anyway. Whatever (whenever, wherever etc.) will be, will be. End of transmission. *shuts up*