warning - rant ahead

[floatingleaf]

OK. I just have to say it. I officially HATE holidays and family gatherings. There's always bound to be someone asking me one or more of the following questions: 1) when am I getting married (not IF, mind you, but WHEN - no matter that I never ever mentioned having a fiancee, or even a boyfriend, in my entire life); 2) will I invite them to the wedding (what wedding?!?!? see point 1); 3) when am I going to have children (no matter that if I really wanted children, I would in all probability have them already). But today my uncle simply went too far. He practically DEMANDED that I should have a baby, because he wants another grandchild. No matter what I want. It's imperative that I strive towards providing him with a grandchild - even though he has five already. WTF??? He doesn't get to see me more than once or twice a year - what the HELL does he care whether I have children??? And what makes him assume he has the right to dictate what I should do with my life? Even my own parents stopped doing that already. But the rest of the family keeps acting like they had no fucking brains whatsoever. I'm 34, people - when will you get a clue??? If I ever intended to introduce you to a nice, good-looking gentleman, I would have done it by now, don't you think? If you ever think at all, that is. Sometimes I really wish I had the courage to actually tell them I'm gay - maybe then the most persistent ones would get a heart attack and leave me the fuck alone. Unfortunately, I have a feeling that it would be my mom who would get a heart attack if that embarrassing secret - that she so bravely pretends to have come to terms with - was ever revealed to her siblings or anyone else outside our closest family circle. And besides, that's not the point, really - even if I weren't gay, would that necessarily mean that my ultimate goal in life is to have children??? Or that there's something wrong with me if it isn't so? WTF???

OK. Sorry if this sounded too strong for anyone's sensitivities... but I simply had to vent. Happy Thanksgiving my ass. I would have been SOOOOO much happier if I could have just stayed at home. Alone. Just me and my laptop. And LJ. And some people out there who actually understand. Oh what pure, unadulterated bliss. *dreamy sigh* Btw, why the hell is family so important??? OK, so this snotty, patronizing elderly guy happens to be my mother's brother. So what? Does that mean we have anything in common??? Does that mean I have to conform to his vision of what is right for any woman my age, with no exceptions whatsoever? What if I'd rather spend my time with someone who really knows and cares for who I actually am? What would be so terribly wrong with that??? *pulls hair out and bangs head against the wall*

Um... yeah. I am really going to stop now. Just one other annoying thing. Namely, the deep and stunning insights of the illustrious e-book I mentioned in my previous post. For example, the author claims that Viggo convinced the entire LOTR cast and crew to camp out in the open BECAUSE HE WANTED TO SEE THE SUNRISE. Yep, that's it. No matter that they would have to be there at dawn anyway, because they were supposed to shoot a scene against that sunrise - actually, there's no mention of that. Instead, the author expects the reader to believe that a whole army of people stayed over on location because one crazy guy wanted to see the sunrise. OK, yeah, whatever. Besides, the whole thing is written in a language most suitable for 7-year-olds. For instance, almost every quote is followed by an extremely clever interpretation - something like: "This shows how important it is for Viggo to do his job right." Oh really? I would never have guessed. And yes, I actually PAID to be able to read this. Call me a complete moron. Yes, someone please tell me I am getting exactly what I deserve...

Comments

[oceansecrets2.livejournal.com]

I think your mom and my mom must be related - To her, family is the top priority in the entire universe. I was thirty-five when I moved away from Chicago because of my job, and to this day my mother has never understood how I could abandon my family like that. Of course, she never really understood why I wanted to work in the first place - after all, I have a husband who's supposed to take care of me. *g* Are you sure you're not Sicilian?

I just don't believe (family) should be defined in biological terms - you are so right about this too. I never had any sisters growing up, and really never missed not having any until I met some friends through the fandom community who have become closer to me than I imagine any blood sister could be. So if your 'real' family isn't giving you the support you need, adopt one that will!

[floatingleaf.livejournal.com]

Well, I do have a sister - and we are quite close... or used to be, until she suddenly became a Christian fundamentalist. And therefore STOPPED being okay with my sexual preferences. No, I kid you not. Here goes another painful topic I'd rather not get too far into at the moment...

So yeah, I'd take an adopted family over the "real" one any day! *sigh*

[oceansecrets2.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry about your sister's attitude. Despite being a practicing Catholic, I can't understand any religion (including my own) that considers any form of love to be sinful. That's a topic you probably don't want to get *me* started on.

So, consider your self adopted, by me anyway!

[floatingleaf.livejournal.com]

Thank you!!! *beams*

Indeed, LJ (or, at least, our little corner of it) seems to be the most warm-hearted, open and understanding community I could ever imagine. Even more so than the gay community I considered myself part of back in Poland. For example, I can easily see some of them not approving of the fact that I currently happen to have a big crush on a MALE movie star.;) *gasp*:D

Oh well. You can't keep everyone in your life happy, can you? The more reason to be thankful for those who are truly and sincerely willing to take me as I am. *hugs the entire flist, and you in particular*