a failed attempt at a post, as it were

[floatingleaf]

As some of you kind readers may know (especially the ones who just wished me a happy birthday), I have officially joined the ranks of the middle-aged.:/ I feel... very strange. Not sure how much I identify with the phrase "mature woman", which would be my correct description at this point. What does "mature" really mean? Does it mean you have it all figured out - or rather, if you're still clueless, better keep it to yourself, because it's not socially acceptable to be clueless at your age?

I seem, to myself at least, so young and inexperienced in some ways - while, at the same time, so old and disillusioned in others. It's very confusing. The frightened little girl is still very much in charge of my emotions; while the cynical, aging woman takes over the outward appearance. What a weird combination.

And now I have totally lost the thread of those weighty philosophical speculations, because I decided to "celebrate" (or perhaps mourn) by having a glass of wine, and the very mildly alcoholic contents of said glass are making me all sleepy and incapable of complicated thought processes. There's a sofa bed a few feet away from where I am sitting, and it looks extremely inviting right now. And yeah, I know it's not even 11 p.m. on a Saturday night. Pathetic.:/

Apparently, this is what happens when you get to be my age. *snort*

Comments

[samtyr.livejournal.com]

Happy (Belated?) Birthday!

**hugs**

[floatingleaf.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[dissonant-dream.livejournal.com]

Ugh, I hate that we're defined by so many arbitrary things. I think you're wonderful, that's what I think. :)

I know what you mean though, I feel so old in some ways and so useless and clueless and incapable in others. It's weird.

*hugs*

[floatingleaf.livejournal.com]

I think you're wonderful, that's what I think. :)

Well, thank you, dear. *blushes*

I feel so old in some ways and so useless and clueless and incapable in others.

I'm afraid this weird feeling will only increase as we get older.:/ *hugs back*

[dissonant-dream.livejournal.com]

That freaks me out a bit. Maybe I just need to get over feeling like a failure and accept myself how I am. ;)

*big hugs*

[floatingleaf.livejournal.com]

Maybe I just need to get over feeling like a failure and accept myself how I am. ;)

Sounds like a good idea.;) Easier said than done, though, isn't it? *sigh*

[dissonant-dream.livejournal.com]

Yes. *sigh* Maybe I think about these things too much, I don't know. I'm sure most people don't worry about all the things that I worry about. Now I don't actually know what I'm talking about, Im just rambling. ;) But I do appreciate your understanding and acceptance and FRIENDSHIP so very, very much. :D *hugs*

[floatingleaf.livejournal.com]

I do appreciate your understanding and acceptance and FRIENDSHIP so very, very much.

The feeling is entirely mutual, dear. <33333

[dissonant-dream.livejournal.com]

♥ *BIG HUGS*

[mellacita.livejournal.com]

Happy birthday! So sorry I missed it. 40 is the new 30, I am reliably informed. ;)

[floatingleaf.livejournal.com]

Thanks, and don't worry about having missed it. I could see you were slightly preoccupied.:D

40 is the new 30

So I am told. I'm just not sure what that means, either.:P

[lady-elina.livejournal.com]

I seem, to myself at least, so young and inexperienced in some ways - while, at the same time, so old and disillusioned in others.

I know exactly what you mean, even if I've still got a few years to go until I reach the so-called 'middle age'. I've come to the conclusion that the only sure sign of growing up is the gradual understanding that growing up doesn't bring the stability and security you thought it would when you were a child or a teenager. Which doesn't have to be a bad thing. Maybe maturing is essentially about letting go of the notions we used to have about it.

Anyway, happy birthday! :)

[floatingleaf.livejournal.com]

I've come to the conclusion that the only sure sign of growing up is the gradual understanding that growing up doesn't bring the stability and security you thought it would when you were a child or a teenager.

Exactly. I think I'm still having trouble coping with that. *sigh*

Maybe maturing is essentially about letting go of the notions we used to have about it.

Maybe. It's an interesting perspective on it, anyway.;)

Anyway, happy birthday! :)

Thank you! :)

[illuins-lair.livejournal.com]

(Um.. to me you're sort of ageless but anyway.)

Mature woman.. something sage and slightly wild speaks to me through that expression - one that comes to terms with things, one that set her standards. Yes.

Still, I consider being 'clueless' has something to do with innocence - a place inside; untouched, perhaps.

Every age is complex.

*heart-gestures*

[floatingleaf.livejournal.com]

something sage and slightly wild speaks to me through that expression - one that comes to terms with things, one that set her standards

That sounds good enough. Thank you.:)

Every age is complex.

That's very true. *nods sagely* ;)

[illuins-lair.livejournal.com]

You know of what I speak.Don't be afraid.Or be. That's up to you.
But every age has its grace.

And it's something to embrace.

OMG!zpelling!gestapo - I can't... *calls mother and collapses*