another pointless rant

[floatingleaf]

Here's a little story of how pathetic I am.

I had an interview at an employment agency this morning. Very professionally looking place, on the 18th floor of an imposing glass skyscraper, about 40-minute drive from my suburb. Anyway, I was supposed to be there at 8:30 - and I actually made it on time, which is a miracle in itself, comsidering the giant maze of corridors and elevators I encountered upon arrival - but the fact that I had to get up around 6 a.m. was apparently so traumatic (after two weeks of sleeping in until 10-11) that I barely managed to fall asleep around 2 a.m. (having gone to bed at midnight), woke up an hour later from a nasty nightmare/anxiety attack type of dream that I usually have when something's eating up at me, then took another half hour or so to relax enough to fall asleep again.

So I guess I should actually congratulate myself on being relatively conscious while I did some unexpected computer tests (typing speed, alpha-numeric data entry and the knowledge of Word and Excel). But I can't help the feeling I would have done much better after 6 hours of sleep (I didn't even reach 30 wpm!!!... *insert mortified gasp of shame here*).

Not to mention the fact that due to those unexpected tests, I didn't make it to my dental appointment at 11:00, which had already been rescheduled because I had messed up the dates. So I had to reschedule again. *sigh*

And not to mention the fact that I had messed up the dates on my resume as well, robbing myself of a full year of work experience. *shakes head*

And the most pathetic thing of all is my last phone conversation with my mother. I called her yesterday, trying to sound nice, warm and caring as I geared myself up to break the apocalyptic news. So we chatted amiably for a while, and at one point she said, sighing happily: "You sound so serene. Now at least I know that everything with you is allright." Too stunned for words, I could only mumble a weak affirmative. And that was it. End of call. Mother happy. Me - scared more than ever of actually telling her what's going on...

Which is really an excellent parable of how much my mother knows about me... but that's another looong story. *tired sigh*



But there are points of light in this dark, stinky maze after all. And one of them is definitely the latest issue of Esquire.:D I didn't think I possibly could love Viggo any more than I already do - but this article makes me wonder if I was right.;)

Just one little quote I can't resist: Viggo bursts through the swinging front door of L.A.'s oldest Irish pub (...), wearing a faded blue-and-white-striped button-down shirt and no-nonsense gray pants that a plumber might wear to unclog a drain.

Oh, yesss... only you, Viggo. Only you.;D That's EXACTLY what I needed. *rolls on the floor laughing*

*sighs*

*faints*

*drops her head onto the keyboard and falls asleep*

Comments

[eliriel1.livejournal.com]

Hon,sometimes we messed up things in our lives.But even in the bad things we can learn something.You will got what you need, when the time is right.Until there, try your best and laugh with Viggo.But please,never say how pathetic you are.We all have bad times.You are lovely.Don't ever forget that,ok?
(( hugs you tight))

[floatingleaf.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for your kind words. I just like to whine a lot, and I should probably warn people to take my whining with a grain of salt.;)

I know I'm not a total disaster.;) I just wish I didn't have nightmares at every slightest contact with the so-called harsh reality.:/

*hugs back*