![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
floatingleafGuess what? I'm sick again. I've been coming down with a cold since Monday. Tried to ignore it at first, because well, I'd just taken a sickie the previous week for God's sake, and besides, it's never a good idea to start using your sick days right at the beginning of January... but this morning I just couldn't get up. I mean, I dragged myself out of bed at about 7:15, plopped down on the toilet seat and promptly dozed off again. After about twenty minutes of just sitting there with the room spinning lazily around me, I realized there was no chance I'd ever make it to work on time, so I dragged myself back to bed. And slept through most of the day. I felt so muddled and groggy I couldn't seem to care about my empty stomach. All I ate today was a small bowl of instant grits and a can of Campbell's Chunky soup. And I don't even know what the heck is wrong with me. I don't cough, I don't sneeze, the throat soreness from yesterday is gone - I just have this obnoxious headache and basically feel as though someone had knocked me over the head and stuffed cotton wool inside my brain. I might have had a fever earlier, because I felt hot and chilly all at the same time; but I think the mug of Theraflu I had for lunch took care of that. And the headache is probably the result of stuffed sinuses that won't unblock for some reason. Or maybe I need to actually eat something substantial, now that I've finally managed to get up. Sort of. Because I was sick of lying in bed all the time. (/lame joke)
In other news, I broke my rule of not spending money on non-essentials. I opened an account on another mp3 website. The one I used before, http://www.mp3sugar.com, has been down for weeks, and when I tried to google it, I came up with an 'equivalent' called http://www.soundike.com. It is indeed very similar, and possibly even better in some ways. And when I found they had the full discography of Deine Lakaien, I just couldn't resist. In the unlikely event anyone cares, Deine Lakaien is one of those obscure European darkwave bands I only ever heard about during a certain late-night radio program back in Poland (the famous program run by the depressed weirdo who later hanged himself on a Christmas Eve). And over the past few years, I've been gradually finding and rediscovering a lot of the music I had been introduced to by that program (back then, most of it was either too expensive or just plain unattainable for the likes of me, so I only had whatever I managed to record on tape from the radio - often just broken snatches of songs, interrupted by static etc.). And each such rediscovery is an immense pleasure. I can't really explain my overwhelming love of dark, sorrowful music. I'm not a dark, sorrowful person - at least, not anymore. I'm not suicidal - I never was. And yet, the sadder or gloomier the music, the more beautiful and appealing it sounds to me. And it doesn't bring me down. Quite the opposite. I get high on it, lol. It's the washed-out, soulless 'happy' pop/muzak/junk usually played in stores or elevators that brings me down. Music with genuine emotion to it, whether joyful or sad, is like a breath of fresh air to me. I crave it. Maybe it is a subconscious way of letting myself feel the pain that someone else has poured into their music, instead of having to feel my own (which is deeply buried somewhere). But for whatever reason, it is therapeutic. Sometimes I even think that getting lost in music is a form of religion to me. The only form I can accept, because it doesn't tell me what to believe. Or maybe it's just the disconnected rambling of a sick brain.;) Now I seriously need to eat something, down another mug of Theraflu and fall into bed.:(
In other news, I broke my rule of not spending money on non-essentials. I opened an account on another mp3 website. The one I used before, http://www.mp3sugar.com, has been down for weeks, and when I tried to google it, I came up with an 'equivalent' called http://www.soundike.com. It is indeed very similar, and possibly even better in some ways. And when I found they had the full discography of Deine Lakaien, I just couldn't resist. In the unlikely event anyone cares, Deine Lakaien is one of those obscure European darkwave bands I only ever heard about during a certain late-night radio program back in Poland (the famous program run by the depressed weirdo who later hanged himself on a Christmas Eve). And over the past few years, I've been gradually finding and rediscovering a lot of the music I had been introduced to by that program (back then, most of it was either too expensive or just plain unattainable for the likes of me, so I only had whatever I managed to record on tape from the radio - often just broken snatches of songs, interrupted by static etc.). And each such rediscovery is an immense pleasure. I can't really explain my overwhelming love of dark, sorrowful music. I'm not a dark, sorrowful person - at least, not anymore. I'm not suicidal - I never was. And yet, the sadder or gloomier the music, the more beautiful and appealing it sounds to me. And it doesn't bring me down. Quite the opposite. I get high on it, lol. It's the washed-out, soulless 'happy' pop/muzak/junk usually played in stores or elevators that brings me down. Music with genuine emotion to it, whether joyful or sad, is like a breath of fresh air to me. I crave it. Maybe it is a subconscious way of letting myself feel the pain that someone else has poured into their music, instead of having to feel my own (which is deeply buried somewhere). But for whatever reason, it is therapeutic. Sometimes I even think that getting lost in music is a form of religion to me. The only form I can accept, because it doesn't tell me what to believe. Or maybe it's just the disconnected rambling of a sick brain.;) Now I seriously need to eat something, down another mug of Theraflu and fall into bed.:(
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-10 04:33 am (UTC)Thanks for the rec. Not exactly my kinda groove, but not bad either.;)