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floatingleafSo... here's the post I had originally meant to make today (or yesterday, since it is already tomorrow by now :).
It probably won't come as a surprise that I didn't go out to celebrate last night. It was freezing outside, I wasn't feeling social, and I had just received a Netflix DVD that I was really looking forward to watching - so I made myself comfortable in my papasan chair with the heating pad and a glass of wine (the bottle was a Christmas gift, not something I would have picked for myself - so one glass turned out to be quite enough :P), and quite pleasantly passed the final night of 2009 watching an obscure indie gay flick (Eban and Charley, should anyone care to check it out). Yes - predictable seems to be my middle name.:P
However, the film's topic is rather controversial - if fascinating - so I feel compelled to talk a little bit about it. It's the story of a romantic relationship between a high-school kid and a teacher. Not the kid's teacher, but a teacher nonetheless. And the kid is 15 years old (the other guy is 29). And it's all taking place in a tiny provincial town in the state of Washington. The teacher, Eban, has just been sent home to his parents after a similar scandal back in Seattle, where he had an affair with one of his students. He was told he would not be subjected to legal action on the condition that he leaves and promises never to see the boy again. Which he does. So he comes back to his tiny hometown, and there he meets Charley. And they both fall in love. And, of course, there is a world of trouble when their parents find out.
What I like about this film is that it presents a very stereotypical scenario in a totally non-stereotypical way. From the beginning, we see very clearly that the last thing Eban could ever want to do would be to 'use' Charley or to hurt him. He seems just as emotionally vulnerable as the boy. He is a quiet, geeky type, shy and a little awkward, and he never does anything the kid might not be comfortable with. In fact, he never does anything sexual at all. He lets Charley make the first move, and when the boy does, they only go as far as the boy is willing to go. Eban's iron control over his own physical urges is actually quite impressive. He courts Charley very gently and respectfully, talks and listens to him, shares his interests, offers understanding and quiet support for his teenage troubles etc. It is very clear to the viewer that what this guy wants is a committed, long-term relationship, and that he believes the sex can wait. But of course everyone else - notably, Eban's own father - takes him for a wicked pedophile, 'preying on the innocent'.
Personally, I do not think that Eban is a pedophile. While Charley might still be a kid in many ways, his body has already physically matured into that of a young man; and while he may be legally below the age of consent, he is perfectly capable of experiencing both romantic feelings and physical attraction. Which is not to say he couldn't be manipulated into giving consent; but so could anyone, regardless of their age. And that is definitely NOT what Eban is doing. Eban is treating him like an equal. His actions are saying: "I care about you, I am attracted to you, and I will be there to show you the way whenever you want to take that final step towards a sexual relationship - but it will only happen if and when you are ready". I should think that any shy, vulnerable and inexperienced teenager would be incredibly lucky to have a first partner like that. Unless, of course, society intervened and broke his heart while trying to 'protect' him.
And yes, I do admit that this topic touches something really deep inside of me - some unfulfilled childhood fantasy of a perfect, experienced, caring and responsible older lover who can be completely trusted to never bring any emotional harm. Which probably has a lot to do with my abiding passion for Viggorli (teenage!Orlando being a major kink), or with why I love to write Legolas with very young Estel (doing a little reversal here, since the elf has to be the older one in this scenario). However, I also love fics with mature Aragorn and inexperienced Legolas (based on the popular - and, in a way, totally canon - assumption that elves don't really have sexual urges until they meet their soulmate).
Anyway... like I said, it is a controversial topic, and I'd love to discuss it. I wonder if I would have a different opinion on it if I happened to be the mother of a teenager - but I can't even imagine being a mother, for a variety of reasons (some of them possibly related to the previous post). I do rather tend to identify with the younger partner in stories like these. Whatever that says about me, is open for discussion as well.:P
It probably won't come as a surprise that I didn't go out to celebrate last night. It was freezing outside, I wasn't feeling social, and I had just received a Netflix DVD that I was really looking forward to watching - so I made myself comfortable in my papasan chair with the heating pad and a glass of wine (the bottle was a Christmas gift, not something I would have picked for myself - so one glass turned out to be quite enough :P), and quite pleasantly passed the final night of 2009 watching an obscure indie gay flick (Eban and Charley, should anyone care to check it out). Yes - predictable seems to be my middle name.:P
However, the film's topic is rather controversial - if fascinating - so I feel compelled to talk a little bit about it. It's the story of a romantic relationship between a high-school kid and a teacher. Not the kid's teacher, but a teacher nonetheless. And the kid is 15 years old (the other guy is 29). And it's all taking place in a tiny provincial town in the state of Washington. The teacher, Eban, has just been sent home to his parents after a similar scandal back in Seattle, where he had an affair with one of his students. He was told he would not be subjected to legal action on the condition that he leaves and promises never to see the boy again. Which he does. So he comes back to his tiny hometown, and there he meets Charley. And they both fall in love. And, of course, there is a world of trouble when their parents find out.
What I like about this film is that it presents a very stereotypical scenario in a totally non-stereotypical way. From the beginning, we see very clearly that the last thing Eban could ever want to do would be to 'use' Charley or to hurt him. He seems just as emotionally vulnerable as the boy. He is a quiet, geeky type, shy and a little awkward, and he never does anything the kid might not be comfortable with. In fact, he never does anything sexual at all. He lets Charley make the first move, and when the boy does, they only go as far as the boy is willing to go. Eban's iron control over his own physical urges is actually quite impressive. He courts Charley very gently and respectfully, talks and listens to him, shares his interests, offers understanding and quiet support for his teenage troubles etc. It is very clear to the viewer that what this guy wants is a committed, long-term relationship, and that he believes the sex can wait. But of course everyone else - notably, Eban's own father - takes him for a wicked pedophile, 'preying on the innocent'.
Personally, I do not think that Eban is a pedophile. While Charley might still be a kid in many ways, his body has already physically matured into that of a young man; and while he may be legally below the age of consent, he is perfectly capable of experiencing both romantic feelings and physical attraction. Which is not to say he couldn't be manipulated into giving consent; but so could anyone, regardless of their age. And that is definitely NOT what Eban is doing. Eban is treating him like an equal. His actions are saying: "I care about you, I am attracted to you, and I will be there to show you the way whenever you want to take that final step towards a sexual relationship - but it will only happen if and when you are ready". I should think that any shy, vulnerable and inexperienced teenager would be incredibly lucky to have a first partner like that. Unless, of course, society intervened and broke his heart while trying to 'protect' him.
And yes, I do admit that this topic touches something really deep inside of me - some unfulfilled childhood fantasy of a perfect, experienced, caring and responsible older lover who can be completely trusted to never bring any emotional harm. Which probably has a lot to do with my abiding passion for Viggorli (teenage!Orlando being a major kink), or with why I love to write Legolas with very young Estel (doing a little reversal here, since the elf has to be the older one in this scenario). However, I also love fics with mature Aragorn and inexperienced Legolas (based on the popular - and, in a way, totally canon - assumption that elves don't really have sexual urges until they meet their soulmate).
Anyway... like I said, it is a controversial topic, and I'd love to discuss it. I wonder if I would have a different opinion on it if I happened to be the mother of a teenager - but I can't even imagine being a mother, for a variety of reasons (some of them possibly related to the previous post). I do rather tend to identify with the younger partner in stories like these. Whatever that says about me, is open for discussion as well.:P
