c'est la vie
Feb. 28th, 2010 11:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
floatingleafSo, I took my dad to another medical appointment yesterday. EEG of the brain. I had to get up at 5 a.m. for this. FIVE A.M. On a Saturday - which is usually the day when I am able to FINALLY sleep in a bit and get some rest after the entire week. I also needed to spend the night at my parents' house - otherwise I would have to get up about 3 a.m., lol (UNTHINKABLE). It's ridiculous how crappy I felt all week just thinking about it.:/ But anyway - it is done, and on March 8th I am taking him to a follow-up appointment with his neurologist, who will interpret the results. Another sleepover... but since that is a Monday, at least I get a day off work in the bargain, so it's not so bad.:P
By the way - we still don't know what dad's problem is. He's done all the cardiological tests, and his heart seems fine. There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with his stomach either. They never called him back with the results of his gallbladder test, so we're assuming there are no stones in there or anything. The physical therapist concluded that his dizziness is not related to inner ear issues. So it would seem that the cause must be neurological - and hopefully the results of the EEG will confirm that. If not, I don't know what else can possibly be wrong, and it seems that his doctors don't know either.:/
The technician who did the EEG test suggested that perhaps my dad's body is simply telling him to slow down and stop working like crazy - and I am inclined to agree with her. I mean, it is NOT healthy for someone in their sixties to be doing 10 hours of nightshift at a factory five days a week. It's not healthy for anyone, for that matter - but some people have the physical/mental endurance to cope with it. My father doesn't. He was never the kind of guy who liked to play superman, if you know what I mean. He isn't exceptionally strong, gets tired easily, needs to sleep a lot etc. That crazy work schedule was killing him slowly, I think. Feeling constantly tired will aggravate any health issues. Btw, he hasn't had any loss of consciousness episodes since he stopped working. He's still not feeling well, but that could be just long-term exhaustion after years of outstepping his limits. I know he wants to be able to go back to work (not because he likes it or anything, but because he's feeling guilty about not contributing to the household budget) - but I don't think that's a good idea. If the choice is either health or money, then it should be an easy choice, shouldn't it?... Unless, of course, the money is needed to pay for basic needs - like health insurance, for example. *weary sigh*
In other news, it is the end of February and I never received anything from the building management regarding my annual lease renewal. Last year, I had to call them twice before they got their act together and sent me the papers - and I nearly had an anxiety attack, since I didn't know how much they were going to raise my rent. So this year, I decided not to panic about it and simply mail them a check with the regular amount. See how long it takes them to figure out that my lease agreement actually expired and needs to be renewed. As long as I'm still paying rent, they might not notice for a while - and then, hopefully, I will only have to start paying the new, higher amount from the moment they notify me about it. It's not my responsibility to remind them to charge me more, after all.:P
Also, my scale seems to be of the opinion that I gained 3 lbs since last weekend.:/ I have no idea what I did to merit this improvement.:| It's true I no longer care much about eating "low fat", because I honestly believe that most "low fat" stuff is loaded with extra sugar, plus some evil chemicals to boot. The one thing I definitely try to stay away from is high fructose corn syrup - I will never put that shit in my system again if I can avoid it. So I bought some tasty organic cereal with flax seeds that has pretty high fat content. Flax seed oil is good for you, isn't it? I've been munching on walnuts and pistacchios and dried fruits and, well... a little bit of fresh European bread every once in a while. Maybe a little more than usual. *sigh* And since I'm done with margarine and its "partially hydrogenated oil" crap, I have started using real butter again (with olive oil - but butter nontheless). Not that I use much of it, mind you. Oh, and I miscalculated on how long my food is going to last this week, so I had to make an emergency run to the Polish deli for some "homemade" soup and salad. So perhaps here lies the key to the scale's strange announcement... lol. Or perhaps I am simply not getting younger and can't be expected to keep the same weight I was able to keep two years ago. Still, I don't want this to get out of hand. I mean, I put so much energy/planning into dropping those extra 20-25 lbs and I DO NOT WANT THEM BACK. Not ever, lol.
As for the ambitious plan of going to bed at 11 p.m... it hasn't been working out too well (check out the time on some of my recent posts & comments for proof, lol). By which I mean, most days I either couldn't manage to drag myself to bed on time, or I did manage it, but then woke up in the middle of the night for no apparent reason and had trouble going back to sleep.:/ Which didn't really motivate me to try that hard the next time, obviously. So I still tend to be rather out of it in the mornings, for one reason or another.:/
And finally, we had our annual "performance reviews" at work this week. I was really blinking in amazement at my boss' high opinion of me - she never mentioned the fact that I am frequently late, or that I take my sweet time doing whatever I'm doing (especially in the mornings, before my brain kicks into working mode, lol). Instead, she praised my adaptability, willingness to learn new things, how well I get along with my coworkers and how she can always depend on me. I really didn't expect to get such a good review. She even suggested that I was doing much better than some other people on the team (without mentioning any names, of course). *blink blink* Either she is the most lenient boss I've ever had, or I still need to work on my self-esteem.:P
And thus ends my fascinating news digest of the past week.;)
By the way - we still don't know what dad's problem is. He's done all the cardiological tests, and his heart seems fine. There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with his stomach either. They never called him back with the results of his gallbladder test, so we're assuming there are no stones in there or anything. The physical therapist concluded that his dizziness is not related to inner ear issues. So it would seem that the cause must be neurological - and hopefully the results of the EEG will confirm that. If not, I don't know what else can possibly be wrong, and it seems that his doctors don't know either.:/
The technician who did the EEG test suggested that perhaps my dad's body is simply telling him to slow down and stop working like crazy - and I am inclined to agree with her. I mean, it is NOT healthy for someone in their sixties to be doing 10 hours of nightshift at a factory five days a week. It's not healthy for anyone, for that matter - but some people have the physical/mental endurance to cope with it. My father doesn't. He was never the kind of guy who liked to play superman, if you know what I mean. He isn't exceptionally strong, gets tired easily, needs to sleep a lot etc. That crazy work schedule was killing him slowly, I think. Feeling constantly tired will aggravate any health issues. Btw, he hasn't had any loss of consciousness episodes since he stopped working. He's still not feeling well, but that could be just long-term exhaustion after years of outstepping his limits. I know he wants to be able to go back to work (not because he likes it or anything, but because he's feeling guilty about not contributing to the household budget) - but I don't think that's a good idea. If the choice is either health or money, then it should be an easy choice, shouldn't it?... Unless, of course, the money is needed to pay for basic needs - like health insurance, for example. *weary sigh*
In other news, it is the end of February and I never received anything from the building management regarding my annual lease renewal. Last year, I had to call them twice before they got their act together and sent me the papers - and I nearly had an anxiety attack, since I didn't know how much they were going to raise my rent. So this year, I decided not to panic about it and simply mail them a check with the regular amount. See how long it takes them to figure out that my lease agreement actually expired and needs to be renewed. As long as I'm still paying rent, they might not notice for a while - and then, hopefully, I will only have to start paying the new, higher amount from the moment they notify me about it. It's not my responsibility to remind them to charge me more, after all.:P
Also, my scale seems to be of the opinion that I gained 3 lbs since last weekend.:/ I have no idea what I did to merit this improvement.:| It's true I no longer care much about eating "low fat", because I honestly believe that most "low fat" stuff is loaded with extra sugar, plus some evil chemicals to boot. The one thing I definitely try to stay away from is high fructose corn syrup - I will never put that shit in my system again if I can avoid it. So I bought some tasty organic cereal with flax seeds that has pretty high fat content. Flax seed oil is good for you, isn't it? I've been munching on walnuts and pistacchios and dried fruits and, well... a little bit of fresh European bread every once in a while. Maybe a little more than usual. *sigh* And since I'm done with margarine and its "partially hydrogenated oil" crap, I have started using real butter again (with olive oil - but butter nontheless). Not that I use much of it, mind you. Oh, and I miscalculated on how long my food is going to last this week, so I had to make an emergency run to the Polish deli for some "homemade" soup and salad. So perhaps here lies the key to the scale's strange announcement... lol. Or perhaps I am simply not getting younger and can't be expected to keep the same weight I was able to keep two years ago. Still, I don't want this to get out of hand. I mean, I put so much energy/planning into dropping those extra 20-25 lbs and I DO NOT WANT THEM BACK. Not ever, lol.
As for the ambitious plan of going to bed at 11 p.m... it hasn't been working out too well (check out the time on some of my recent posts & comments for proof, lol). By which I mean, most days I either couldn't manage to drag myself to bed on time, or I did manage it, but then woke up in the middle of the night for no apparent reason and had trouble going back to sleep.:/ Which didn't really motivate me to try that hard the next time, obviously. So I still tend to be rather out of it in the mornings, for one reason or another.:/
And finally, we had our annual "performance reviews" at work this week. I was really blinking in amazement at my boss' high opinion of me - she never mentioned the fact that I am frequently late, or that I take my sweet time doing whatever I'm doing (especially in the mornings, before my brain kicks into working mode, lol). Instead, she praised my adaptability, willingness to learn new things, how well I get along with my coworkers and how she can always depend on me. I really didn't expect to get such a good review. She even suggested that I was doing much better than some other people on the team (without mentioning any names, of course). *blink blink* Either she is the most lenient boss I've ever had, or I still need to work on my self-esteem.:P
And thus ends my fascinating news digest of the past week.;)
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-01 02:39 pm (UTC)your boss should give you a raise!
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-02 01:55 am (UTC)Haha. Yeah, believe me, she'd love to do that. But no one in the company is getting any raises at this point.:/ Not till mid-year, at any rate. Actually, we're all happy there haven't been any pay cuts - unlike so many other companies in the US these days. *sigh*
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-01 09:47 pm (UTC)Did you now that insomnia/staying up late also causes weight gain? Stress on women does too. I've read some articles on the issue way back. Though nuts no matter how healthy are quite the energy bombs. ;)
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-02 02:25 am (UTC)It does - but the sad thing is, it's not at all unusual. It's the "American way".:/ Most people can't afford to switch to an easier work routine - let alone retire. It's a modern form of slavery, imo. You work yourself crazy, and then you die. The system devours you and spits you out when you can't make money anymore. That's your entire purpose in life: to make money, and then to spend it, to stuff someone else's pockets. It's abhorrent.:(
Did you now that insomnia/staying up late also causes weight gain?
Oh, I know. The less sleep I get, the more hungry I am. When the body isn't replenishing its energy resources through proper rest, it wants to compensate by getting extra calories. I know I need to sleep more, but I already feel like I hardly have any time to myself during the week - so cutting that time even shorter by going to bed early seems like a stupid thing to do. I'd much rather cut down the time I spend at work - but, of course, I can't afford that (see above). Actually, I suppose I should consider myself lucky for "only" having to work 40 hours a week. Even though my mother keeps suggesting I should get an extra weekend job.:/ Yes, I would have a bit more money for unexpected expenses - but what about LIFE?... I have a feeling my parents have forgotten what it means to live - they seem to think life is about paying bills, and that's that. It's not their fault, of course - it's what living in this country does to people. *sigh*
I'm going to shut up now, before I launch into a lenghty rant on the evils of American capitalism.:P
Nice to see you around again, btw.;)
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-05 08:10 pm (UTC)could be just long-term exhaustion after years of outstepping his limits Well, it does sound stress-related in some form (I was thinking burnout-syndrome?).
*hopes you get some more sleep*
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-06 03:50 am (UTC)Frankly, the only reason it is hard for him not to work is because the disability pay he's getting now is very low, and my mom is working crazy hours to make up for the budget deficit. So he's obviously feeling bad about that. But the job itself wasn't really anything he enjoyed doing or identified with. If I know anything about my dad, he'd be perfectly happy to retire any minute if he could afford it. He's got plenty of hobbies to occupy his time. In fact, I sort of hope that the doctors encourage him to retire, and that both my parents are forced to rethink their priorities - like, for example, whether it's worth it to slave away like a pair of mules in order to keep a house that they don't have any time/energy left to enjoy anyway. I sort of hope that external circumstances make them both slow down and, for heaven's sake, LIVE a little before they die.:(
I was thinking burnout-syndrome?
Yeah, that would be a good name for it. He might actually need a shrink more than a physician. Though I don't suppose his crappy health insurance would cover that.:/
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-06 04:18 am (UTC)It´s unfair.. I´m afraid I don´t understand much of those health insurance-issues since the system here is different and I don´t follow the news =/
that both my parents are forced to rethink their priorities - like, for example, whether it's worth it to slave away like a pair of mules in order to keep a house that they don't have any time/energy left to enjoy anyway
Well, yes, priorities - to shift pov, maybe find a middle-way and hopefully avoid panicking to keep everything in place. *hopes it being possible*
The importance of getting a correct diagnosis is all about life-quality and value as a human being goddamnit!! *frustrated sigh*
It´s good you go with him, must be hard for all of you not knowing exactly what´s wrong..
*hugs tight*
(Also, totally irrelevant but: Icon!Gasp!)
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-06 05:30 am (UTC)Don't worry. Most Americans don't understand it either. Unfair is the one very obvious and undeniable thing about it. Basically, the American people at large are being screwed over by a bunch of jerks in Armani suits (the international bankers, health insurance/pharmaceutical company owners, big business executives etc.). You might consider reading the article I posted for a more detailed explanation of the above - but the bottom line is that the American healthcare system was designed for profit, not for the benefit of the sick and needy or any such sentimental reasons.:/ Everything in this country seems to revolve around profit/revenue, at the cost of human life or wellbeing - and it's so utterly revolting I just want to hurl sometimes. I need to STOP reading the news, or I will go crazy. *tears hair out*
maybe find a middle-way and hopefully avoid panicking to keep everything in place
Yeah... that would be good. I am afraid, though, that for my mother panicking has become second nature.:(
life-quality and value as a human being goddamnit
Human beings have no value in this country. They are either cheap workhorses or cannon fodder.:/
It´s good you go with him
Me and my sister take turns accompanying him to all those appointments, because 1) he isn't supposed to drive until they figure out why he tends to suddenly lose consciousness for no apparent reason, and 2) he doesn't speak English very well, so he needs an interpreter. And mom's English isn't any better either.:|
Icon!Gasp!
I know.:) That icon is from Viggo's early appearance in a soap opera.;) He supposedly played a shady character called Brag the Smuggler, who "smuggled his way" around a mysterious, non-existant island of San Marcos.:P
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-06 05:30 pm (UTC)I saw Zeitgest a while back. Made me definately think it was good not watching news. But it bothers me too, how much I don´t know shit about. Yeah, that and not being aware in general of what´s under the surface and upset about how small we all are. All this profit/scarcity made sense to me, but I feel it´s hard to grasp the whole. It´s SO HUGE. Maybe that´s because I´m hiding in my little micro cosmos..
People tend to panic when their habitat is threatened..it must be such a stress-factor for them (and you)
*sends encouraging hugs to them from me*
=/
SmugglerVig *thud* yeah but he´s..a hot smuggler *grins*
Soap opera... Alas! the carrier-choices one makes in life.. =D
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-06 10:27 pm (UTC)Of course Vig was a hot smuggler.:P As for career choices... well, he was a young actor with no cash to his name, what do you expect? :D But speaking of taking crappy roles for cash... have you ever seen Texas Chainsaw Massacre III? One of his highlights. Not that he was bad in it... he was actually very good, to the point of making you wonder what was the point of being so good in such a disgustingly bad movie.:P He is a hot CANNIBAL in that one, btw. I own the DVD - though I admit I was able to watch it only once (and nearly lost my supper due to the amounts of blood and gore involved).
Yeah, my fangirling fervor for Viggo knows no limits.:D
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-08 04:03 am (UTC)*caveman!grunts*