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the whole story
Jun. 1st, 2003 12:36 amLet's summarize:
May'02 - I emigrate from Poland to the United States, hoping for my lover M. to join me here soon. I truly believe we are meant to be together for the rest of our lives. Then... no job, no money, no hope for many months to come.
January'03 - My good friend A. comes here on her tourist visa. I am so glad to have someone close to talk to - I've been feeling horribly lonely for the last few months. Now, I used to be in love with A. some time before I met M. - but that's history. Or so I think.
March'03 - M. finally goes for her tourist visa and doesn't get it. She decides it makes no sense to wait another year. She never really wanted to live here anyway. She only wanted to be with me, but somehow she got past that. So she calmly and irrevocably tells me goodbye.
May'03 - I'm having a wild affair with A., who is going back to her girlfriend in Poland in a few weeks and not likely to ever return here again. It doesn't really matter who started. I am the one who's soon going to get dumped... again.
Funny, isn't it? And mind you, nothing ever happened those few years back, when we were both single and I was literally dying of love for her (and she knew it). So why now? Just because I said I was over her and my heart wasn't likely to get broken? Was I right?
The thing that surprised me most, really, was how easily I got over M. I used to think she was the right one for me. Well, it seems I'm not really after "the right ones". A. is definitely the wrong one, and I am as "high on emotion" as I can possibly be without getting a heart attack.:)) She's a Leo, by the way, and I've always found Leos a little too much for me (still somehow managed to fall in love with a couple of them:))). I actually told her she somehow reminds me of Lestat. She was quite curious and started reading the VCs... and now I have to wear a turtleneck in summer.:))))) I still don't know how deep are the marks upon my soul.....
May'02 - I emigrate from Poland to the United States, hoping for my lover M. to join me here soon. I truly believe we are meant to be together for the rest of our lives. Then... no job, no money, no hope for many months to come.
January'03 - My good friend A. comes here on her tourist visa. I am so glad to have someone close to talk to - I've been feeling horribly lonely for the last few months. Now, I used to be in love with A. some time before I met M. - but that's history. Or so I think.
March'03 - M. finally goes for her tourist visa and doesn't get it. She decides it makes no sense to wait another year. She never really wanted to live here anyway. She only wanted to be with me, but somehow she got past that. So she calmly and irrevocably tells me goodbye.
May'03 - I'm having a wild affair with A., who is going back to her girlfriend in Poland in a few weeks and not likely to ever return here again. It doesn't really matter who started. I am the one who's soon going to get dumped... again.
Funny, isn't it? And mind you, nothing ever happened those few years back, when we were both single and I was literally dying of love for her (and she knew it). So why now? Just because I said I was over her and my heart wasn't likely to get broken? Was I right?
The thing that surprised me most, really, was how easily I got over M. I used to think she was the right one for me. Well, it seems I'm not really after "the right ones". A. is definitely the wrong one, and I am as "high on emotion" as I can possibly be without getting a heart attack.:)) She's a Leo, by the way, and I've always found Leos a little too much for me (still somehow managed to fall in love with a couple of them:))). I actually told her she somehow reminds me of Lestat. She was quite curious and started reading the VCs... and now I have to wear a turtleneck in summer.:))))) I still don't know how deep are the marks upon my soul.....
