more of the same

OK. Another rental search update (if you're bored with me harping on the subject, just go ahead and skip the entire post... LOL). The place I saw on Thursday is almost perfect: spacious but cozy, with fluffy carpet covering the entire floor except for a small raised platform to one side that serves as the kitchen, and the tiny bathroom next to it. There is a large closet as well, and the laundry room would be right outside my door. The appliances look all right - not shiny and new by any means, but not like they were about to fall apart either.;) The one thing that kinda bugs me is that there is no bathtub - just a minuscule shower cubicle. Guess that shouldn't be a problem... it's just that I'm not used to not having a bathtub. I do enjoy an occasional long, hot bath... if you know what I mean.:P But since it's a private house, not an apartment building, then probably there wouldn't be enough hot water for one of my epic baths anyway.;) So it's just as well that I would have to switch to quick showers. They're better for your skin, anyway... right?

But the best thing about this place is definitely the location. A very quiet residential street about 6,5 miles from my workplace. Which is even slightly less of a distance than I have now. I don't think I'll find anything closer than that - it would be a miracle. So I filled out the application right away. However, the owner said that they had a few other people apply for the apartment so far - and the application contained questions about credit & employment history, bank accounts, wages etc. So I'm assuming there isn't much probability of me being their first choice. *sigh* I somehow never thought that not having worked at the same place for the past year might be a problem - after all, I'm only renting, not buying, and I still have enough savings to last a few months in case of a sudden lack of income (*knocks on wood*). But, of course, if any one of their other applicants happens to have had more luck in the job market, there is no reason why they shouldn't pick that person over me. I can only hope that the situation won't repeat itself at every other rental I apply for. I really don't want to be stuck here for another year... *bites lip*

( more in the same vein )

So that's that. I know I'm being horribly boring of late, but I can't really concentrate on any other topic at the moment. The only way I can handle big changes like that is one at a time. So it will probably seem like nothing else exists for me until this is out of the way. Angsting over mundane problems seems to be my specialty - at least since RL forced me to finally start acting like the grown-up person I had supposedly already been for quite some years.:/ And since this grown-up person decided that it's time to live on her own, she must now face all the practical consequences of this decision - preferably without letting on how overwhelmed, insecure and downright scared she feels about the whole thing. And isn't the decision itself just one big escape manouver? Not to have to deal with people on a daily basis, at least after hours? Because I can't handle any kind of conflict, or being critized over the smallest thing? Hmmm?...