an unexpected turn of events

Okay... time for another update. It seems that my apartment dilemma has just gotten a little bit more complicated - or maybe simpler, depending how you look at it. Namely, a very good friend of mine is having problems with her roommate, and it is very likely that she will ask him to move out. So, of course, knowing that I was looking for a new place to live, she suggested I move in with her. The funny thing is, had she made that offer back in December, before it ever occurred to me that I might have a chance of renting something out on my own, I would have jumped at it right away. I would have been ecstatic. Now I told her I need some time to think about it. And the truth is, I feel torn. I mean, she is a really good friend. I like her a lot. We communicate very well. She lives in the very area I want to move into, and the rent for the entire 2-bedroom is below $800; which means I would be paying LESS than I do now - as opposed to much more, should I get a place on my own. So why do I even hesitate?... Well, because for the last few weeks I have been eagerly anticipating the total freedom and ease of living ALONE. And the thought of putting that off for another year or two feels like being stabbed in the gut. It's nothing personal about my friend and not wanting to live with her (even though she is a Virgo, and I wouldn't be surprised if it turned out she's rather anal about cleaning :P). It's about not wanting to live with ANYONE at this point. Of course, there is still the possibility of not being able to rent anything by myself, because of my less-than-perfect employment record. In that case, I will take her up on her offer, and be duly grateful that I can. But since I applied for the studio I had seen last weekend, I will not give up hope until they tell me that my application has been rejected (if they don't call me back by next Wednesday, like they said they would, I will call them myself and ask). I need tangible proof that my idea of living alone was completely utopian at this point in time, before I let go of it. So I might even try another place or two, just to be sure. I have time until the 15th. If nothing works out by then, I will move in with my friend. I can only hope she won't take it personally if it doesn't happen. *sigh*