hmmm

[floatingleaf]

So, my chiropractor says I basically created another trigger point right there between my spine and my right shoulder blade (in addition to the two at the base of my neck). And I just have to be extra careful not to overwork that muscle. So no lugging heavy bags on my right shoulder. She put some needles in there today, applied some pressure to release the tension in the sore spot and tried to do an adjustment - but my back was too tight for the adjustment to work, so I am due for another appointment in two weeks. In the meantime, I am supposed to do some "cat stretches" and drink plenty of water (it's a good thing to remember that proper hydration can actually prevent muscle injury). The pain has eased much over the past few days, btw, so hopefully it won't get worse again unless I do something stupid (I was VERY careful with the shopping bags today and used only the left shoulder to carry the bigger ones, so I think I'll be fine).

Another thing that looks very promising as a source of long-term relief in the muscle department is this cool website I was directed to by stormatdusk:

http://www.anatbanielmethod.com

This woman basically invented a whole system of innovative exercises designed specifically to prevent and/or treat chronic pain and repetitive stress injuries - like those sustained by people who spend most of their time glued to the computer screen. Can I just say it's a godsend?... LOL. I got hooked immediately and signed up for this nifty "Desk Trainer" program, where a little animated guy tells you how to move your head/neck/arms etc. for a few minutes to avoid/relieve muscle stifness or pain. It's really cool, simple, effortless and can be done as often as needed. I'll be sure to take at least 1-2 such short exercise breaks every day. There are also CD's and DVD's with detailed exercise programs targetting specific areas of the body. I am seriously thinking of ordering some - but first I will do the free 42-minute mp3 lesson I have downloaded from the website (haven't had a chance to listen to the whole thing yet). If the exercise method is really as effective as the website claims, I should be feeling some positive change after that already. But we'll see. I just really like the holistic approach towards physical/mental wellbeing that those exercises seem to promote. I also like the idea of natural, chemical-free pain relief (like many people in the US, I have become extremely wary of the pharmaceutical industry - "taking a pill" is usually a last resort for me). So I suppose I might really get into this. I'll be sure to share the experience here if that happens.:)

In other news, I called in sick yesterday due to the "monthly misery" - and am still a little upset by my boss's reaction. For the first time ever, she sounded like she didn't believe that I was really sick; like she thought I was just taking a day off on a whim. She told me that "this wasn't a good day for me to be taking off" and that by being absent, I was forcing her to put more pressure on my teammates. Now, let me explain about the pressure. One of our international media guides comes out in print next week. And there is still plenty of work to do before it's ready. HOWEVER, earlier this month we started working on this new research project for a client that was supposed to be very high priority, and I am one of the people assigned to be devoting most of our time to THAT. It was the boss herself who made this decision. I would have preferred to keep working on the international stuff, which is what I was originally hired to do and which is the only part of the job I actually feel responsible for (as in, I actually CARE that it's done right). There are only three of us working on the international media - and whenever we have a slower time during the year, we are also routinely helping out with other products. Now is not a slower time, however - and still, the boss assigned TWO of us to this new project, with only one person left to catch up on our regular work. With this arrangement, there was NO WAY we were going to finish the international updates on time. This has happened before on occasion, if we were busy with other stuff - the international guides are definitely not the number one asset of the business, to put it mildly. We hardly ever get approved overtime to work on them, for example. The overtime I did last Saturday was for the new project - and I also spent most of last Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday working on that. On Thursday there was no more new project work for me (just a little break, I'm sure I'll get more later) - so I spent the day catching up on the international guide. I was, however, under the impression that as soon as I receive the next "new project" spreadsheet, I'm supposed to ditch the international stuff, no matter how far it is from getting finished. So it is very likely that even if I did go to work on Friday, I still wouldn't be working on international media. And even assuming I was, there was STILL no way that stuff would get finished on time. So I don't quite understand how my being absent on Friday suddenly makes a big difference. If I had any inkling my boss was going to react like that, I probably would have clenched my teeth and gone to work, even though I felt like shit. Not that I would have been very productive... but yeah. At least I wouldn't have been suspected of deliberately "putting extra pressure on my teammates" (which is kind of ridiculous, because I know my teammates, and if either of them cares a great lot about flawless up-to-dateness of the aforementioned media guide, it is certainly NOT the guy who's currently the only one working on it).:/

Don't get me wrong. I still like my boss. I've had worse. I'm just upset that she seems to think I would randomly take a day off during a busy time just because I was feeling lazy or something. I went to work on Thursday, and stayed there all day, despite the pounding headache - because I was afraid that Friday morning would be even worse. And it was. It's hardly my fault that mother nature treats me like crap on a monthly basis. But then, my boss is one of those crazy people (like my mother) who never call in sick unless they're dying - she must be about 70 years old by now, and she's ALWAYS there. So maybe I simply can't expect her to understand. Fortunately for me, I am entitled to a certain number of sick days during the year and it is my choice when to use them, whether convenient or not. She may not like this, but she can't tell me not to do it, because it's not against the rules. And should it impact her opinion of me as a dedicated employee, then well... tough shit. I am dedicated to my own health and wellbeing - which only includes the job insofar as it provides a paycheck that covers my basic needs. I have no ambitions to become a CEO, or the boss's right hand, or anything of the sort. I do what I am asked to do, as well as I can, when I am feeling well enough to do it. Full stop. I leave the rat race to the rats, so to speak. Which likely means my salary will always stay below average - but I know people who fall all over themselves and STILL are basically in the same boat, so yeah... at least I might not develop a stomach ulcer, maybe (like my lawyer grandfather who died before fifty). The moment I start identifying with the job to the point of wanting to come in even when I'm sick, because OMG SOMETHING WON'T GET DONE, I might just as well get a lobotomy and sacrifice my redundant braincells at the altar of Corporate America - which, to me, still remains a bizarre and somewhat alien creature. I may work for it, because there isn't exactly an abundance of other survival plans around, so to speak - but worship it I will not. It does a pretty good job of worshipping itself without my help, imo. I am just trying to retain a sense of self while shifting papers around and staring into the computer screen for a living. It isn't too bad as a source of income (at least I don't have to greet strangers all day with a fake smile plastered on my face like I did when I worked in retail), but it's not my life. My life is my own "quiet times" at home, my friends, this journal, books, movies, music, blogs, fanfiction and all the other fascinating stuff that makes this existence worthwhile. I don't live to work. I work to live. I know not everyone in Corporate America can get away with that, and I feel lucky that I still can. I don't ever want that to change. I don't care how lazy, inambitious or insignificant I appear to other people. If they pity me, the feeling is probably mutual. I've never felt a great lot of understanding and support for the way I interact with the universe - except nowadays I am in much less turmoil about it. People are what they are... and so am I. Take it or leave it. I refuse to be guilt-tripped because I don't measure up to someone else's standards. I used to invest a lot of time and energy in trying to do precisely that... and guess what? It never worked. Not with my mother, not with my abusive ex, not with the other bosses who weren't happy about my "performance". So, basically, I'm done. Henceforth, the only standards I strive to measure up to are my own. Whoever has a problem with that, is welcome to form as low an opinion of me as they damn well please. It won't have any effect on my self-esteem anymore. It won't keep me up at night. I have far more interesting topics to contemplate when it's time to hit the pillows.;P

Speaking of which... how did it get so late, again?... *blinks* Sometimes I just can't seem to know when to stop. Shutting up now. *YAAAAAWN*