an extremely shameful confession

[floatingleaf]

Looks like I'm having a serious identity crisis. Sexual identity, I mean. Never mind that I already had one when I first got into reading slash. Someone explained to me then that some of the best m/m slash writers - let alone readers - were lesbians... so I figured I could still safely see myself as one.;) And so I did. But now...



I have recently joined porn_exchange, and am currently spending a large portion of my evenings downloading and watching various explicit gay sex clips. MALE gay sex - in case there were any doubts (not that I would mind some nice and tasteful lesbian porn... but I haven't seen any so far - and anyway, that's not the point of this post, somehow). It started as an experiment, out of pure curiosity - someone on my flist posted a link, so I clicked on it - but now it seems I am seriously into it, and I can't quite get over my reactions. I thought reading "romantic" porn was one thing, but actually seeing the hardcore action up close wouldn't do much for me... and hell, was I wrong. How well do I know myself, really? What's up with me? Is it because I am getting older and the hormones are going into overdrive or something? Is it because I've been single for over two years?... Is it because the so-called "lesbian" porn made obviously for heterosexual men is just plain disgusting? And the same goes for any het porn I've ever seen, btw. Why isn't gay porn disgusting then? Well, on some level it is - but still, I don't seem able to get enough. Is it a sign of personal liberation, or do I need therapy? ;D

Comments

Re: Take a ticket....

[floatingleaf.livejournal.com]

I like to think of myself as a gay man trapped in a lesbian's body.

Now THAT's quite interesting... LOL

btw... wanna swap boy-porn? ;P

Sure, why not? I bet you have plenty.:P

As for me, though, I only have what's been posted at porn_exchange within the last few months - excluding the links that were already expired when I got there... LOL