bleugh

[floatingleaf]

I should make a rule about never attempting to post on a Friday. Apparently, my brain doesn't work on Friday nights. Yes, I have the time, since I don't necessarily need to go to bed early; sometimes I even think I know what I want to say. But as soon as I open this blank little "post an entry" box, all coherent thought flies in a hurry. I just sit here scratching my head, yawning, biting my lip and getting increasingly frustrated with myself. Thinking, If you're not going to post anyway, you could have at least responded to that email you got three weeks ago. Or watched a movie, or something. But I wanted to post! I had news... or I thought I did. But maybe it doesn't really matter. So, it's fucking cold. So what? That's hardly news at this time of year. Work's going to suck for the next few weeks, but do I really want to talk about that? Nope. A friend invited me to go to the theatre with her, but I couldn't make up my mind whether I was actually interested in going or not, and finally declined under the pretense that the tickets were too pricey. Well, they are pricey, but God... I haven't been to the theatre for YEARS. I haven't been ANYWHERE for years. Shouldn't I want to go?... But then again... the "should" is dictated by concern for other people's perception of me. Do I care that I haven't gone anywhere for years? Am I ashamed of being a hermit, or do I simply regret that being a hermit often prevents me from participating in cultural events I might otherwise enjoy?... Or am I simply afraid that if I never accept people's invitations, they will stop asking?...

Ahhh... too much food for thought on a Friday night. All I want right now is another cup of tea, some mindless internet browsing and then bed. How unbearably sophisticated I have become. Watch, world, and wonder. *facepalm*

Comments

[meathiel]

Unfortunately people will stop asking ... *sigh*

I know I posted last night I "may" go out tonight ... I'm seriously having second thoughts as I'm oh so tired ...

[kehleyr.livejournal.com]

I hear ya!! This happens to me a LOT when I'm trying to write an entry.

[taelyn-sass.livejournal.com]

"Should" should never come into making a decision unless absolutely necessary. Do what you want to do and let the rest go hang. It's your life. ***hugs***

[floatingleaf.livejournal.com]

I agree. Problem is, I don't always know what I want.:P