cold feet, warm heart?... or something to that effect, at any rate :)

[floatingleaf]

There's a "winter weather advisory" in effect for Chicago right now, according to the Yahoo weather page. "Near blizzard conditions" until tomorrow morning. Good thing I managed to get home before the wind picked up. Yesterday our office actually closed at noon due to heavy snowfall. And it's supposed to get even worse; on Monday, the temperature is supposed to drop down to -16F (-27C). No fucking kidding. Only during the night, I hope, but still... Anyway, today our department head sent out an email saying that whoever makes it to the office on Monday gets free pizza.:)

I am expecting my period to hit any minute... PLEASE PLEASE let it be tomorrow, or Sunday at the latest. I really want the worst of it to be over by next week. Arctic weather is bad enough to deal with by itself... not to mention the fucking jury duty.:/ I just... there's only so much I can handle. *bites nails*

Which only makes me realize how profoundly beneficial it is to interact with people who radiate positive energy. To invite such people into my life and keep them in it. I have always been intensely affected by other people's moods; for example, my mom was a major angst and drama queen, which hugely aggravated my own anxiety. I've been a much calmer, less irritable person ever since we stopped living together. My first romantic partner was a manic depressive; I will never forget how a mutual friend summed up our relationship as her "dragging me down into the abyss". Of course, my feeble attempts to drag her OUT of said abyss were useless. Her negative energy was much stronger and more dominant - it took me a while to drag MYSELF out of the abyss after we broke up. All of the above occupied a pretty sizeable chunk of my life; so a lot of people who knew me at the time might have been under the impression that I was a very negative person. But that was never true. I was just a very susceptible person... sometimes too empathetic for her own good. My inner balance was fragile, and I didn't realize how easy it was for other people to overthrow it. I also didn't realize how easy it was for other people to restore it, if I only let them. I know it now. Or perhaps there is also an element of my own energy/sense of peace being stronger an ATTRACTING those positive people now, just like I was obviously attracting the negative ones in the past?... (not that I had much choice when it came to my mother, for example... but you know what I mean) That might possibly explain why a certain bright and joyful individual seems so taken with me.:) And somehow doesn't see me as a grumpy old lady... even though I do.:P There must be SOMETHING behind this crusty façade, and it must be shining through. As I was recently told, the "package" is irrelevant...;)

Comments

[tindomerel.livejournal.com]

And here in Finland we've had +2°C and even more all winter so far. No sign of snow...

It is so true that it's beneficial to interact with positive people. I am very sensitive to other people's energies too and quite tired of anyone who makes me feel negative & weird. I prefer to surround myself with people who feel good.

[floatingleaf.livejournal.com]

The climate has all gone upside down...

I used to think it was very selfish of me to avoid negative people, instead of trying to help them... but the truth is, I don't really know how to help them, and sometimes they don't even want to be helped. So it is pure self-preservation to stay away...

[meathiel]

Unfortunately it's not always easy to find out before you friend somebody if they are positive or negative people ... hmm ... it would be so much easier if it was!

[floatingleaf.livejournal.com]

True. No guarantees in life, though. *sigh*

[cloudsinvenice]

That's a really good point about how the flip side of being easily dragged down may be that it's equally easy to be pulled up. I think that's true of me.

I hope the weather has abated! Here we had storm surges; luckily we don't live on the coast or by a river, but we did see some of the effects and felt very sorry for the people in its path! :S

[floatingleaf.livejournal.com]

Well, my workplace is closed till Wednesday due to extreme weather conditions...

I have seen pics of the storm surges in the UK! Scary stuff, indeed. *shudder*

[goddessofchaos.livejournal.com]

This post made me think. I've always been very affected by other people's moods as well - and the fact that I've been thrown into such an emotional tailspin after a relationship with someone who was, himself, in a real state emotionally, makes me wonder if part of it came from taking on his emotions.

[floatingleaf.livejournal.com]

I think that's very likely. Some of your recent posts didn't really "sound like you" to me. I have always perceived you as a pretty balanced, confident person... but perhaps you also have this unfortunate tendency to absorb the moods of those you are close to, emotionally. It can be a blessing or a curse...

[anwyn-elfmaiden.livejournal.com]

Which only makes me realize how profoundly beneficial it is to interact with people who radiate positive energy. To invite such people into my life and keep them in it. I have always been intensely affected by other people's moods; for example, my mom was a major angst and drama queen, which hugely aggravated my own anxiety.

I TOTALLY know and have to do this, too...

<3