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floatingleafIsn't it frustrating that whenever something happens in your life that is dangerously close to perfection, you feel instantly crushed at the slightest sign of it not being quite as TOTALLY perfect as you think it COULD be?... Never mind that it's much better than what you could have expected at that point... as soon as it actually HAPPENS, it is taken for granted, and suddenly you find yourself deprived of some undeserved rewards. And by you, I mean me. It's pathetic, really. I have a serious problem with positive thinking; one tiny disappointment totally overshadows a MOUNTAIN of shiny, bouncy, exuberant reasons to be happy. At least it does right now. I do hope this will change. I am a mature, reasonable individual after all, and I feel really quite embarrassed about the ridiculous amount of moping I have indulged in today. Talk about a result disproportionate to the cause. I don't even want to get any more specific, because it's just too fucking sad. I am a whiny, selfish, demanding, unbalanced emotional mess. Nobody needs that in their life, so maybe I should just go back to my hermit cave instead of pretending I can handle human interaction...
OK, OK, I'll shut up now. Just a tiny little quote that has stuck with me recently, since we are discussing this particular section of The Vampire Lestat... You have a light in you that's almost blinding. But in me there's only darkness. (...) I try to keep the darkness from you because I need your light. I need it desperately, but you don't need the darkness. This is what Lestat's friend and lover Nicolas says to him at one point, and this is how I feel right now. Enough said, I suppose. Of course, it's a massive exaggeration. I am aware of that on some level. I will crawl back up to the light eventually, I hope. But today I let the darkness embrace me. Who knows, perhaps it's my natural reaction to being unusually happy for extended periods of time.;) In other words, the bubble had to burst at some point. I am just a little stunned at the intensity of this sudden plunge...
Anyway... don't mind me for now. I'll make sure to report back when I am in a better mood. Hopefully soon...
OK, OK, I'll shut up now. Just a tiny little quote that has stuck with me recently, since we are discussing this particular section of The Vampire Lestat... You have a light in you that's almost blinding. But in me there's only darkness. (...) I try to keep the darkness from you because I need your light. I need it desperately, but you don't need the darkness. This is what Lestat's friend and lover Nicolas says to him at one point, and this is how I feel right now. Enough said, I suppose. Of course, it's a massive exaggeration. I am aware of that on some level. I will crawl back up to the light eventually, I hope. But today I let the darkness embrace me. Who knows, perhaps it's my natural reaction to being unusually happy for extended periods of time.;) In other words, the bubble had to burst at some point. I am just a little stunned at the intensity of this sudden plunge...
Anyway... don't mind me for now. I'll make sure to report back when I am in a better mood. Hopefully soon...
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Date: 2014-02-16 11:39 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2014-02-16 01:30 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2014-02-16 01:42 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2014-02-24 10:11 am (UTC)