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floatingleafSo, in light of the previous post, I am clearly not seeing my original Yahoo account ever again. Even though it will continue to exist, as long as my ex-roommate remains an AT&T customer. Apparently, paid accounts are not deleted, no matter how long they haven't been accessed by their owners. Which is somehow a worse thing to be aware of than having been wiped. Because if it had been wiped, I would know for sure that there is nothing more I can do, and would be able to simply move on. As it is, I can't help wondering about all the messages I have missed since I haven't been able to get in there. Not to mention the old, saved stuff I had been meaning to go back to. I keep kicking myself for not having saved at least some of it to my hard drive. And yes, I have created a new Yahoo!ID and signed on to most of my groups again; but it just feels weird to look at this new, empty mailbox. I open it and go: where the hell are all my folders??? - before I realize that there are no folders, because someone is playing an evil, sick joke on me. Just because I was too trusting and such a scenario simply never crossed my mind. *shakes head at herself and vows to be less naive in the future*
On the other hand, if my ex-roommate had been MORE trusting and given me the benefit of the doubt, the whole situation wouldn't have taken place. Because I have only recently realized that she probably thinks I was going to just keep using the paid account, without actually paying for it. If I was, than that would be audacious indeed, and she would have every right to get pissed at me. Except that was never my intention, and that's precisely why it never occurred to me she might think that. And what pisses ME off is that she never saw fit to ask, but simply ASSUMED that I was going to act dishonest. Just like she assumed I wasn't even going to help her clean the bathroom after that friend of hers fixed our clogged bathtub drain last summer. She came screaming at me, based on her own unjust assumption about my behaviour. And, strangely enough, whenever that happens, I feel too stunned and hurt to defend myself. Instead I'm like, Okay. If that's what you think of me, than go ahead. I KNOW I'm not guilty of this, and whatever higher power there is knows that too. And that is enough. Except I usually tend to start avoiding whoever treats me that way, and they may well think that it's because I do feel guilty of whatever they were accusing me of, but wouldn't admit it. It's like a vicious circle. And I know I would only break it for someone who means a hell of a lot to me. Because it's humiliating to try and justify yourself to someone who obviously doesn't believe you, because they think they know better. Well, good for them. Because those who REALLY know me, know there are certain things I just wouldn't do. No matter how much it LOOKS like I might have done them. And those are the only people I need in my life. The rest can drop right off the face of the planet, for all I care.
Well... sorry for whinging again, and good night.
On the other hand, if my ex-roommate had been MORE trusting and given me the benefit of the doubt, the whole situation wouldn't have taken place. Because I have only recently realized that she probably thinks I was going to just keep using the paid account, without actually paying for it. If I was, than that would be audacious indeed, and she would have every right to get pissed at me. Except that was never my intention, and that's precisely why it never occurred to me she might think that. And what pisses ME off is that she never saw fit to ask, but simply ASSUMED that I was going to act dishonest. Just like she assumed I wasn't even going to help her clean the bathroom after that friend of hers fixed our clogged bathtub drain last summer. She came screaming at me, based on her own unjust assumption about my behaviour. And, strangely enough, whenever that happens, I feel too stunned and hurt to defend myself. Instead I'm like, Okay. If that's what you think of me, than go ahead. I KNOW I'm not guilty of this, and whatever higher power there is knows that too. And that is enough. Except I usually tend to start avoiding whoever treats me that way, and they may well think that it's because I do feel guilty of whatever they were accusing me of, but wouldn't admit it. It's like a vicious circle. And I know I would only break it for someone who means a hell of a lot to me. Because it's humiliating to try and justify yourself to someone who obviously doesn't believe you, because they think they know better. Well, good for them. Because those who REALLY know me, know there are certain things I just wouldn't do. No matter how much it LOOKS like I might have done them. And those are the only people I need in my life. The rest can drop right off the face of the planet, for all I care.
Well... sorry for whinging again, and good night.
