end of story?
Oct. 19th, 2009 10:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
floatingleafSo, the loan officer guy calls me today and says that I don't have a credit score. He'd been trying to pull my credit report since Friday, and thought it was just some system glitch that prevented it from coming up - but today he talked to a credit bureau, and apparently my credit history isn't long enough, or doesn't have enough information on it, to merit a score. So bummer - he can't do anything for me at this time. He advises me to apply for some major credit card, though, and hold it for a few years before I try again. *blink blink*
Okay. I have a Master Card AND a Visa. Are these not major enough?... Apparently they didn't come up on the report (?????). Maybe I haven't had them long enough (two and three years, respectively). Whatever. I just wish someone could have told me this right away, so I didn't waste all this time and energy thinking about the whole thing. I had a feeling it was futile anyway - but I always let other people drag me around, instead of listening to my intuition, which hardly ever fails. When will I ever learn?
So why does my intuition tell me that this is not over? That my mother will try to drag me around some more, only to waste more time and energy and come up with the same result?... Because I know her too well, that's why. *clenches teeth*
In other news, I had an amazing, weird, almost mystical dream this morning. I can hardly recount it, because its logic was not of this world, lol - but the feeling, the depth, the atmosphere of it was simply stunning. It was about death, but there was nothing sad or scary to it - just a little pensive, mysterious, solemn, peaceful and strangely uplifting. It reminded me - very faintly - of the movie The Others, because I knew the characters in the dream were not physically "alive"; and yet they were very "lively", in a way. They were from another time, wore old-fashioned dresses and spoke in riddles.:) One of them was a little girl who talked to me a lot and explained everything, but I can't remember a single word she said.:( What I do remember, though, is the final scene where she was about to materialize from a haze of swirling yellow smoke, like incense, to the accompaniment of gentle, eerie music. I remember the smoke traling through empty corridors and against old walls with layers of flaking paint. I know the description sounds desolate, but it wasn't so in the dream. It was beautiful. I knew something joyful and magical was about to happen... and then I woke up. It was still dark outside, the sky barely beginning to lighten - but I knew I would have to get up in about 45 minutes, so it didn't make sense to try to fall asleep again. So I just stared up at the lightening sky through the cracks in the blinds, and nursed the feeling of solemnity, expectation and disappointment. It all seemed important somehow, much more important than the initial part of this post. And maybe it was.
Okay. I have a Master Card AND a Visa. Are these not major enough?... Apparently they didn't come up on the report (?????). Maybe I haven't had them long enough (two and three years, respectively). Whatever. I just wish someone could have told me this right away, so I didn't waste all this time and energy thinking about the whole thing. I had a feeling it was futile anyway - but I always let other people drag me around, instead of listening to my intuition, which hardly ever fails. When will I ever learn?
So why does my intuition tell me that this is not over? That my mother will try to drag me around some more, only to waste more time and energy and come up with the same result?... Because I know her too well, that's why. *clenches teeth*
In other news, I had an amazing, weird, almost mystical dream this morning. I can hardly recount it, because its logic was not of this world, lol - but the feeling, the depth, the atmosphere of it was simply stunning. It was about death, but there was nothing sad or scary to it - just a little pensive, mysterious, solemn, peaceful and strangely uplifting. It reminded me - very faintly - of the movie The Others, because I knew the characters in the dream were not physically "alive"; and yet they were very "lively", in a way. They were from another time, wore old-fashioned dresses and spoke in riddles.:) One of them was a little girl who talked to me a lot and explained everything, but I can't remember a single word she said.:( What I do remember, though, is the final scene where she was about to materialize from a haze of swirling yellow smoke, like incense, to the accompaniment of gentle, eerie music. I remember the smoke traling through empty corridors and against old walls with layers of flaking paint. I know the description sounds desolate, but it wasn't so in the dream. It was beautiful. I knew something joyful and magical was about to happen... and then I woke up. It was still dark outside, the sky barely beginning to lighten - but I knew I would have to get up in about 45 minutes, so it didn't make sense to try to fall asleep again. So I just stared up at the lightening sky through the cracks in the blinds, and nursed the feeling of solemnity, expectation and disappointment. It all seemed important somehow, much more important than the initial part of this post. And maybe it was.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2009-10-20 12:34 pm (UTC)Do I remember that you did something with your name when you did your citizenship or am I thinking of someone else? That could possibly affect it, if they don't connect the two, although you would think your social security number would ensure they were being reported to a single place.
You might want to call yoru credit cards and find out why they are not reporting your on-time payment behavior to thre major credit bureaus, or, if they are, if they are reporting them as the wrong person. That's really, really weird.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-10-21 03:12 am (UTC)You might want to call yoru credit cards
That's it exactly. More phone calls, more stress, more banging my head against the wall. That's precisely what I was hoping to avoid. My motivation isn't strong enough to deal with all this crap. I mean, I'm not even absolutely sure this is a good idea in the first place. I've been trying to rationalize it to myself, so I don't feel like I'm doing it just because my parents want me to - but the more difficulties arise, the less convinced I am. Most of the time I just want to be left in peace. Not that it's going to happen, obviously. *sigh*