wherein I'm being repetitive like an old vinyl record

[floatingleaf]

Update on the sunburn: I think I'll live. My shoulders still look ugly, and the red patch of skin at the bottom of my neck feels extremely dry, like old parchment... but the pain is gone. Now there's only itching and white flakes of dead skin coming off all over my arms/shoulders/neck etc., even in places that don't seem burned at all. I wonder how long it will take before I look all pasty-white again (me?... tanned???... that ain't happened yet - or if it did, it was too long ago to remember... LOL).

Update on the summer: still hot. Sunny and breezy and generally glorious most of the time, but HOT. A third-floor apartment without central air-conditioning is a very toasty place to be.:/ I can live with that - but cooking is simply out of the question. So I've been making lots of salads. I have some interesting recipes I've never tried before - but if you know of any cool (literally) meal ideas that don't involve using the stove or oven (steaming veggies in the microwave is doable, since it doesn't increase the air temperature in the kitchen in a noticeable way), please share. I'll be in your debt.

Update on the gay: I watched Brokeback Mountain again last night. For the third or fourth time - not sure which. I have such a soft spot in my heart for this movie, it's kind of ridiculous, actually. Anyway... I always cry at the same exact moment: when Ennis brings down the old shirts from Jack's room, and Jack's mother has a paper bag ready to pack them up, and they just look into each other's eyes for a long while. That look destroys me every time. Ennis is such a tragic character - more so than Jack, I think, even though it's Jack who dies a tragic death - and I totally identify with him on some deep, primal level. He totally resonates with my own feeling of "not fitting in"; of being shy and introverted and lost and helpless against fate, against emotions, against other people's warped perceptions of what's acceptable etc. Jack is a very likeable person, right there on the surface, and he has the guts to fight for what he wants; so I can't really identify with him. I can, however, totally identify with falling for someone like him and feeling undeserving/inadequate as a result. With not being able to deal with happiness, as it were. So it all hits really close to home for me. Plus, it's such a raw, beautiful love story. So touchingly imperfect. So un-Hollywood, so understated, so real. And the acting is amazing. Heath Ledger breaks my heart into a thousand little pieces, and this is the role I will always remember him for. That kiss on the staircase, where he just grabs Jake and slams him against the wall... it's on my top-ten list of movie kisses of all time, I think (Jake is also amazing in that one - even if I suspect it might have been somewhat less of a stretch for him to convincingly portray homosexual passion...;). And that scene where he comes into the tent, holding his hat in front of himself in a very obviously concealing/revealing way, and is so eager and so reluctant all at the same time... oh God. Another classic. Or that breakdown moment after Jake says I wish I knew how to quit you...

Gotta stop now. It's somehow gotten really late and I'm falling on my face.:(

Comments

[illuins-lair.livejournal.com]

Gah.. stickiness and humidity.. I totally suffer along with you.. =/ I wonder where the perfect weather conditions can be found in the world? I would vote for 20-25 degrees all year around. Goddamn. Instead I´m finding myself in a country where 3/4 of the year is disgustingly cold and dark and the rest of it is either unbearably hot or gloomingly rainy.

Everybody's making fun of our sensitive alabaster skin.
Indeed. Why does everyone seem to think that "getting tanned" is the ultimate point of life, anyway? The pale elves know nothing of this tradition, they live in the twilight and is quite content with the alabastery!issue..

Let's start a petition for a director's cut!
Oh, you mean all that behind-the-scenes-sexxing? I wantzz it. No one can make a movie like that and not discover their own restrained attraction within it. =P

I don't like to miss anything that's being said - I find that very frustrating, because sometimes missing even a few words takes away from the impact of the entire movie experience
Absolutely! Even though I usually don´t look much at the subtitle, it´s a comfort having it there as a backup and I do tend to get a bit stressed when there´s no subtitle available, because it means I have to stay 100% focused on what is being said and not disappear too much into a storyline or whatever. Of course, when watching foregin films the whole subtitle-thing is essential, but then I usually have to watch the movie allover again to somehow be able to absorb it in other ways.

there was nothing particularly explicit about it, eiher. And it was pretty important for the purposes of plot and characterization - unlike most het sex scenes in other American movies
oh my god yesss.. it´s funny how most things gay are provocative just by its existance -oh and omg!gaySEXXX! being able to be *that* taboo when in so many movies the standard seems to be "show as much as you can" often bordering to what could be considered "pornography".
I don´t know.. it was groundbreaking (as it turned out), but still I would have wished for those people who left the cinemas to actually having stayed and faced their "fears" or whatever the fuck they were on about. It´s such a humiliation. Controvercy is nothing but (hopefully) a thoughtprovoking subject in the end. If some people are so firm in their beliefs, why would they fear the subject itself and not engage in a dialogue instead?
Guh. I get totally upset.

I know I am a lot like that too, in certain ways - and sometimes I want to shake myself free of those restraints, but I don't know how to do it any better than he did. So mostly I just want to slap him - and then hug him - and then cry with him, too.
Which restraints do you recognize as restraints?
Hmm.. that would make me slightly into a Jack-person?

It was YOUR way with words that made me stalk you and fangirl you in the first place
Bwhahahahah... uh.. wuttt? I remember it being me stalking you and stuff.. =DDD
*hides & zparkles*

[floatingleaf.livejournal.com]

I´m finding myself in a country where 3/4 of the year is disgustingly cold and dark and the rest of it is either unbearably hot or gloomingly rainy

Not sure if that makes you feel better, but it's exactly the same here... LOL.

Yes! The Elves know all about the delicate balance of light and shade.;)

No one can make a movie like that and not discover their own restrained attraction within it. =P

I don't know about Heath - and, unfortunately, in his case we will never find out - but I'm pretty sure Jakey is as queer as a three-dollar bill.;P

If some people are so firm in their beliefs, why would they fear the subject itself and not engage in a dialogue instead?

Because it's easier for them to apply some ready-made definitions of good and evil to everything without engaging their lazy braincells.:/

Which restraints do you recognize as restraints?

Gahhh... another one of those questions I could probably write a philosophical treatise on if I let myself delve into it, LOL. One good example is being constantly, painfully aware of how other people might perceive me - even though I realize that I can't possibly know it, and my guesses about it can be totally wrong. But sometimes I feel like I can never totally relax until I am by myself - which possibly explains my hermit tendencies.;)

Hmm.. that would make me slightly into a Jack-person?

Hmmm... I suppose it would.;)

I remember it being me stalking you and stuff.. =DDD

Well... don't forget that the whole thing started with some krayzy drunken LOTR-fic you wrote, which made me go all, Wow... what a loony!... Yet, strangely irresistible... ;P

So yeah... totally a Jack-person.:D