slight panic attack

[floatingleaf]

I am SO pathetic. After the doctor told me I need to lose weight, I decided to start exercising again (which I hadn't done since sometime in December). So I begin today, and after about ten minutes of mild bending & twisting I am DEAD. Just utterly, completely DEAD. Like I carried fifty pounds up a mountain, you know? That scares me, man. It's like I have no muscles at all. Just one big limp noodle.:/ And I used to do those same exercises pretty easily last year. Have I let myself go to the point of self-destruction?... How long will it take until I can do a simple 20-minute workout without my tongue hanging down to my knees?... And even if I manage that, will it be enough to STOP GAINING weight, let alone start losing?... Because the more I gain, the harder it will be to exercise. Oh God please don't let me become a 200-pound 'American nightmare' in 'plus size' baggy clothes. *shudder*

Sorry, flist. No offence meant to anyone. If I am a fat, lazy ass, then I have only myself to thank for it. And whinging about it is not going to help either. *gnashes teeth*

So, if I don't stick out this time and stop exercising AGAIN, you can all call me a pathetic, hopeless twat and punch me in the face. Because I was a slim, sexy lady about three years ago, and back then it would have taken very little effort to keep it that way. If only I had made that effort. But no. I was too lazy. So I woke up one day, about ten sizes later, very puzzled as to what actually happened. *headdesk*

God, I do hate myself sometimes.:|

Comments

[mellacita.livejournal.com]

The hating-yourself thing probably isn't going to help you in your goal. ;)

As someone who is, I guess, a walking American nightmare :|(though I like to think I dress okay), and hasn't always been, I can say two things:

1. If half the country is in the same boat, that's either a lot of fat, lazy people who are pathetic or

2. There are so many societal, environmental, and evolutionary forces working against us that it's no wonder so many have problems

That's not to say one should accept it; of course not! We need to have some personal responsibility. Just that both weight loss and food industries have billions of dollars to research how best to affect us, and unfortunately they don't always have our best interests at heart. They want us to need and buy their products, after all, for a long time. It's not a fair fight in the first place.

And good for you for taking those steps! I can't wait until I get my sleep issue fixed this month so I can start doing the same, with gusto. Just be a little forgiving of yourself as you start the journey and just vow to be different in the future. Go slowly and with positive energy and it will be a much easier endeavor. :)

Most studies show that weight is 10% exercise and 90% what you eat, so keep that in mind as well.

Also, I give you free reign to quote this stuff back to me over the months as I do my bit to get back to my 27 year old body. (since I am only 32, it shouldn't be that hard?)

Do you do weights at all? Before my surgery and vicious circle of apnea/weight/etc, I followed stuff on this site quite a lot: http://www.stumptuous.com/cms/index.php
I never was a mega lifter or anything but doing resistance training was so good for my metabolism.

Okay, so I seem to be spamming your journal lately with all sorts of silly stuff. Don't mind me. ;)

[floatingleaf.livejournal.com]

The hating-yourself thing probably isn't going to help you in your goal. ;)

Oh, I know that. I just thought that if I scold myself harshly enough in a public post, I might actually be more liable to get my act together.;)

There are so many societal, environmental, and evolutionary forces working against us that it's no wonder so many have problems

Yes, that's true. But also very easy to use as an excuse for letting yourself go (of which I am just as guilty as the next person, I guess).:(

both weight loss and food industries have billions of dollars to research how best to affect us, and unfortunately they don't always have our best interests at heart

Again, very true, and rather depressing.:(

Just be a little forgiving of yourself as you start the journey and just vow to be different in the future

Oh, believe me, I am way too forgiving of myself on a daily basis. I am probably one of the most self-indulgent people you'll ever meet. It's the voice of reason inside my head that gets pissed off and cracks a whip every once in a while - with little to no effect, I might say.:/

Well, I am 36, but I don't think I will ever get back to my 32 year old body - unless I quit my office job and go back to retail and picking up merchandise after customers or stacking shelves all day long.;)

Do you do weights at all?

Uhh... no. Unless you count shopping bags.:P

Okay, so I seem to be spamming your journal lately with all sorts of silly stuff. Don't mind me. ;)

Spam me all you want. Your comments are thoughtful and informative, and I really appreciate that. *pats you on the back* ;)