slight panic attack

[floatingleaf]

I am SO pathetic. After the doctor told me I need to lose weight, I decided to start exercising again (which I hadn't done since sometime in December). So I begin today, and after about ten minutes of mild bending & twisting I am DEAD. Just utterly, completely DEAD. Like I carried fifty pounds up a mountain, you know? That scares me, man. It's like I have no muscles at all. Just one big limp noodle.:/ And I used to do those same exercises pretty easily last year. Have I let myself go to the point of self-destruction?... How long will it take until I can do a simple 20-minute workout without my tongue hanging down to my knees?... And even if I manage that, will it be enough to STOP GAINING weight, let alone start losing?... Because the more I gain, the harder it will be to exercise. Oh God please don't let me become a 200-pound 'American nightmare' in 'plus size' baggy clothes. *shudder*

Sorry, flist. No offence meant to anyone. If I am a fat, lazy ass, then I have only myself to thank for it. And whinging about it is not going to help either. *gnashes teeth*

So, if I don't stick out this time and stop exercising AGAIN, you can all call me a pathetic, hopeless twat and punch me in the face. Because I was a slim, sexy lady about three years ago, and back then it would have taken very little effort to keep it that way. If only I had made that effort. But no. I was too lazy. So I woke up one day, about ten sizes later, very puzzled as to what actually happened. *headdesk*

God, I do hate myself sometimes.:|

Comments

[floatingleaf.livejournal.com]

The hating-yourself thing probably isn't going to help you in your goal. ;)

Oh, I know that. I just thought that if I scold myself harshly enough in a public post, I might actually be more liable to get my act together.;)

There are so many societal, environmental, and evolutionary forces working against us that it's no wonder so many have problems

Yes, that's true. But also very easy to use as an excuse for letting yourself go (of which I am just as guilty as the next person, I guess).:(

both weight loss and food industries have billions of dollars to research how best to affect us, and unfortunately they don't always have our best interests at heart

Again, very true, and rather depressing.:(

Just be a little forgiving of yourself as you start the journey and just vow to be different in the future

Oh, believe me, I am way too forgiving of myself on a daily basis. I am probably one of the most self-indulgent people you'll ever meet. It's the voice of reason inside my head that gets pissed off and cracks a whip every once in a while - with little to no effect, I might say.:/

Well, I am 36, but I don't think I will ever get back to my 32 year old body - unless I quit my office job and go back to retail and picking up merchandise after customers or stacking shelves all day long.;)

Do you do weights at all?

Uhh... no. Unless you count shopping bags.:P

Okay, so I seem to be spamming your journal lately with all sorts of silly stuff. Don't mind me. ;)

Spam me all you want. Your comments are thoughtful and informative, and I really appreciate that. *pats you on the back* ;)