seriously... where the FUCK does the time go???

[floatingleaf]

Today was another failure of a day. Again, it took me several hours to decide what I needed from the grocery store - and when I finally put myself together and went there, I got drenched in buckets of torrential rain on my way back. Of course, minutes after I got home - looking like a wet rat, I might add - the rain stopped. But when I changed all my clothes and went out again, to the other grocery store, the skies opened for the second time. Now I had an umbrella, though, so I only got soaked from the knees down.:| Anyway... I had been planning to cook tonight, but somehow lost the will to do it after this little adventure, so I decided to spend the evening making a long LJ post instead. Except the long post never materialized either, as you can see. It was the usual "OMG I have so much to say I don't know where to start", and then "OMG why is my brain a blank now???" syndrome.:/

And now it's late and I just want to sleep. Gahhh. This is so pathetic I can't even. How do people manage to actually DO STUFF on weekends, like go to clubs or the movies or see friends or whatever?... I barely seem able to cope with the basics. Is it just me, or is this what "middle age" feels like? If so, then I don't want. I need extra 12 hours added to each day - otherwise it just doesn't make sense anymore. I might just as well die now, because I will never do anything worthwhile again. Unless I hire someone to take care of all my daily chores for me - but then I would need to work two jobs so I could afford it, which would defeat the purpose. Anyway, I'll stop babbling and go to bed. No need to make this overwhelming feeling of futility worse by wallowing in it.:/

Comments

[floatingleaf.livejournal.com]

Getting exhausted with social contact is only part of the problem for me; another part is that somehow everything seems to be taking longer than it used to, and I still have the same amount of hours available to do it. For example, I need more sleep now than I did a few years ago - but if I sleep more, I have less time to do my chores, catch up on the internet stuff etc. And, obviously, I still have to work 40 hours a week, which is also more tiring than it used to be.:/ It feels like a trap with no way out, really. *sigh*