seriously... where the FUCK does the time go???

[floatingleaf]

Today was another failure of a day. Again, it took me several hours to decide what I needed from the grocery store - and when I finally put myself together and went there, I got drenched in buckets of torrential rain on my way back. Of course, minutes after I got home - looking like a wet rat, I might add - the rain stopped. But when I changed all my clothes and went out again, to the other grocery store, the skies opened for the second time. Now I had an umbrella, though, so I only got soaked from the knees down.:| Anyway... I had been planning to cook tonight, but somehow lost the will to do it after this little adventure, so I decided to spend the evening making a long LJ post instead. Except the long post never materialized either, as you can see. It was the usual "OMG I have so much to say I don't know where to start", and then "OMG why is my brain a blank now???" syndrome.:/

And now it's late and I just want to sleep. Gahhh. This is so pathetic I can't even. How do people manage to actually DO STUFF on weekends, like go to clubs or the movies or see friends or whatever?... I barely seem able to cope with the basics. Is it just me, or is this what "middle age" feels like? If so, then I don't want. I need extra 12 hours added to each day - otherwise it just doesn't make sense anymore. I might just as well die now, because I will never do anything worthwhile again. Unless I hire someone to take care of all my daily chores for me - but then I would need to work two jobs so I could afford it, which would defeat the purpose. Anyway, I'll stop babbling and go to bed. No need to make this overwhelming feeling of futility worse by wallowing in it.:/

Comments

[poeticknowledge.livejournal.com]

I hear you! I've been through this sooooo many times, especially since I started working full-time! :/ I used to have so much time to respond to letters and do other things and now that I work 5 days a week, I hardly feel like doing much when I get home each day, aside from relaxing and then the weekend comes and I face the constant dilemma of: "Should I get things done (i.e. respond to my backlog of long overdue letters, etc.) or should I just RELAX?" Even when I'm hanging out with friends on the weekend, I still don't feel like I have enough time to do the things I want -- social outings can leave me exhausted too since I'm an introvert by nature and restore more of my energy by being alone than in being in a crowd.....what a conundrum! And then I still don't get as much done as I'd want to....it's a constant struggle, but I digress....

[floatingleaf.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, working full time is a bitch.:/ Sadly, if you're a single woman, living by yourself and paying your own bills, you don't really have a choice in the matter... *sigh*