a strange post, in which I surprisingly seem to notice what's going on around me :)

[floatingleaf]

So... I have finally caught up on what the whole big 'tinhat' controversy was all about. Not that anyone cares what I think - I am not delusional, at least not about that.;) But this is my personal journal, and I feel like sorting this out for myself, so... here goes.

It makes me very sad that mellacita has deleted her journal. I hope she will come back. Now that I have finally read the initial post that triggered her reaction (it wasn't on my flist, but someone on my flist referred to it), I can understand why she felt upset/offended; while, on the other hand, I am pretty sure the post couldn't have been intentionally referring to her in any way. It talked about women who consistently 'bash' Orlando's dates and claim he has a secret relationship with Viggo - not because they have any rational reason to believe that might be true, but because they secretly (or subconsciously) want Orlando for themselves and can't handle the thought of him being with another woman (why it would be easier to handle him being with Viggo in that case is another matter). Now, to me that doesn't sound like Mellacita at all. Not anywhere close, even. She's nothing if not rational, always backs up her statements with relevant research, doesn't - as far as I know - fancy either Orlando or Viggo for herself, and has never made a comment about any of Orlando's former or current dates that could be interpreted as bashing. At least not by my definition (stating one's belief that Orlando isn't likely to actually be romantically involved with this or that person has nothing to do with bashing, in my book). If there are indeed women in this fandom who act in the way described by that post, then I don't know who they are (lucky me, I might say ;), and Mel is definitely not one of them. All the more sad and ironic that she seems to have been the most upset by it (again, I understand the gut reaction, because I felt it too - even though I knew it couldn't have been aimed at me, because, in all likelihood, the author of that post doesn't even know who I am). But I know all about taking things to heart and letting other people's opinions bring you down more than they should, so yeah. *sympathizes*

As for my stand on the issue itself, it's not set in stone either way (I certainly haven't done any serious research on the matter, lol) - but, in my humble subjective perception, Orlando gives off a definite gay vibe, while Viggo seems to be simply pansexual and rejecting labels on principle (as well as quite happy just living by himself, thank you very much). Of course that doesn't necessarily mean they are/were in any way involved with each other - but I think it's an option just as likely as not. Just like the option of Orlando (or his 'handlers') staging heterosexual dates for publicity (and no, I don't judge him for doing that, if that is indeed what he does - not everyone is ready to be 'out' to the entire universe, and I'm not going to throw proverbial biblical stones while having no clue how I would feel in his shoes). That said, I do not 'hate' any of his various girlfriends, nor do I wish to be in their place. I may have had a few nice erotic dreams involving him or Viggo or both, but in truth, I wouldn't know what to do with a guy. I have never been with one. So my 'tinhattery' has nothing to do with being jealous. It has more to do with finding a heterosexual relationship a far more disturbing concept than a homosexual one.:P That said, if either Orlando or Viggo are indeed happily in love with a specimen of the opposite sex, then good for them, and I won't love them any less for it. I don't tend to 'bash' other women, unless they upset me personally - and neither do any of the Viggorli 'tinhats' I happen to call friends. Unless it's very tongue-in-cheek.;) Or so I hope. And it just doesn't feel fair to have us all thrown into the same sack with the label 'mentally disturbed' or 'spiteful' on it.

Okay. That's pretty much the essence of my approach, for the benefit of anyone who might actually care to know. Or for my own benefit, because I am well aware of the implications of the fact that even when I post something like a "you made my day" meme that tags ten people, only one person actually leaves a comment. That makes me pretty influential, eh?...;) (no worries, I'm not suicidal over it; just quoting the statistics, as it were)

On that optimistic note... good night.:)

EDIT: Well... it appears that Mel is back. Glad to see that. *relieved sigh* Off to bed now. *yawns*

Comments

[romi.livejournal.com]

why it would be easier to handle him being with Viggo in that case is another matter

My thought as well... well put! I think it was a well written post. But it would have come through as stronger to me if she hadn't put that strange pseudo psychoanalyses in the end. Is it only the belief that a person is gay in real life that would render such an analyses? She seems unaware (?) that people who write slash are looked upon in the very same way, if they believe the current slashed actor is gay in real life or not. A selection of what I have read:

-- Slash is written because the woman feels inferior to other women,
-- because she can't handle the thought of the favorite actor with another woman,
-- because the writer fears/hates her mother (can't stand another woman in a sex scene)
-- because the writer fears/hates the father (can't stand the thought of a man doing something to a woman in a sex scene)
-- because the writer is homosexual herself

et cetera.

Summary: if she writes slash herself she is pretty much in the same boat as other slash writing women, even if these women believe an actor is gay in real life or not. perhaps a little thought to consider when the need to rock the boat becomes too strong.

[floatingleaf.livejournal.com]

Interesting point, my dear. It's all stereotypes, basically, and we all fall victim either to being 'stereotypized' ourselves, or to doing it to others. Or both. In other words, generalizing is hardly ever a good idea. *sigh*