life and other lethal diseases
Mar. 17th, 2009 08:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
floatingleafHappy St. Patrick's Day, flist.
I'm not feeling particularly bright or green right now, actually, but I have promised myself to at least try to post tonight, so here goes.
Ever since the switch to the Daylight Savings Time it's been a struggle to get up every morning, and work has been busier and more absorbing than usual for the past few weeks, including overtime on Saturdays, which of course my current financial status puts me in no position to decline, no matter how deeply unexcited I am about it. *sigh* Plus, my neck is being a total bitch and just aches all the time, regardless of any heating pad treatments, scorching hot showers, stretching exercises and pain relieving ointments I lavish upon it. My chiropractor does what she can, but the relief never lasts more than a few days, and I can't see her every weekend, because my healthcare plan only allows 20 visits per year. I have to take time out of each (way too short anyway) evening at home to attend to those stiff, overworked muscles, and it makes me feel old (just don't give me the "wait till you're fifty" line, OK?...;). As a result of that, I don't have time to actually exercise - as in work on strengthening the rest of my body - because by the time I've warmed up and stretched the neck & shoulders, I usually need to start getting ready for bed. I still cook and eat healthy, because it's become very important to me (and undoubtedly eliminates other health problems I would otherwise have), but it takes a lot of careful planning and time as well - so there isn't much else I can realistically set out to do on a daily basis. Oh, and last Sunday I spent 3,5 hours at Firestone, waiting to get my car fixed, which ended up costing over $350. It was something to do with suspension, which is pretty serious, so I needed to fix it asap, rather than wait for the car to collapse in on itself. But, of course, it didn't help my budget. So yeah, I'll be working overtime even when I'm sick of it.:/
In other unrelated news, I watched Zeitgeist last weekend. Or the first part of it, anyway. It was recommended to me by a coworker, who sent me the link to the website:
http://www.zeitgeistmovie.com
It didn't surprise me all that much (I had seen Loose Change before, on the recommendation of the same coworker), but it certainly depressed me - more than I'd like to admit, I suppose. Because it makes way too much perfect sense to be dismissed as leftist propaganda. I feel like I finally connected the dots that were there in front of me all along - and in this case, it's not a good feeling. Because the picture that emerges is way too much to handle. And I feel duped and powerless and so outraged and yet so pointless, insignificant and weak. This is what reality does to me. I can't handle it. Please give me back my pink, pretty bubble. It's not like I can change anything. I can only lose my sleep over it, or have nightmares. Or feel ashamed to be a human being, because human beings are the most heartless, evil creatures on earth. Which is why they have to invent mythical dark forces - to cover up their own bottomless darkness. And it's not like I didn't know this already - it's just that I've tried very hard to avoid dwelling too much on it. And this film forced me to open my eyes right into the harsh sunlight, so to speak.
I could ramble on, but I do want my 6+ hours of sleep, so it's time to go. Sorry for being such a downer tonight. So inappropriate for the occasion. Blame it on my coworkers, though. Some of them think too much, instead of just mindlessly dragging their feet under the yoke like everyone else.:P
I'm not feeling particularly bright or green right now, actually, but I have promised myself to at least try to post tonight, so here goes.
Ever since the switch to the Daylight Savings Time it's been a struggle to get up every morning, and work has been busier and more absorbing than usual for the past few weeks, including overtime on Saturdays, which of course my current financial status puts me in no position to decline, no matter how deeply unexcited I am about it. *sigh* Plus, my neck is being a total bitch and just aches all the time, regardless of any heating pad treatments, scorching hot showers, stretching exercises and pain relieving ointments I lavish upon it. My chiropractor does what she can, but the relief never lasts more than a few days, and I can't see her every weekend, because my healthcare plan only allows 20 visits per year. I have to take time out of each (way too short anyway) evening at home to attend to those stiff, overworked muscles, and it makes me feel old (just don't give me the "wait till you're fifty" line, OK?...;). As a result of that, I don't have time to actually exercise - as in work on strengthening the rest of my body - because by the time I've warmed up and stretched the neck & shoulders, I usually need to start getting ready for bed. I still cook and eat healthy, because it's become very important to me (and undoubtedly eliminates other health problems I would otherwise have), but it takes a lot of careful planning and time as well - so there isn't much else I can realistically set out to do on a daily basis. Oh, and last Sunday I spent 3,5 hours at Firestone, waiting to get my car fixed, which ended up costing over $350. It was something to do with suspension, which is pretty serious, so I needed to fix it asap, rather than wait for the car to collapse in on itself. But, of course, it didn't help my budget. So yeah, I'll be working overtime even when I'm sick of it.:/
In other unrelated news, I watched Zeitgeist last weekend. Or the first part of it, anyway. It was recommended to me by a coworker, who sent me the link to the website:
http://www.zeitgeistmovie.com
It didn't surprise me all that much (I had seen Loose Change before, on the recommendation of the same coworker), but it certainly depressed me - more than I'd like to admit, I suppose. Because it makes way too much perfect sense to be dismissed as leftist propaganda. I feel like I finally connected the dots that were there in front of me all along - and in this case, it's not a good feeling. Because the picture that emerges is way too much to handle. And I feel duped and powerless and so outraged and yet so pointless, insignificant and weak. This is what reality does to me. I can't handle it. Please give me back my pink, pretty bubble. It's not like I can change anything. I can only lose my sleep over it, or have nightmares. Or feel ashamed to be a human being, because human beings are the most heartless, evil creatures on earth. Which is why they have to invent mythical dark forces - to cover up their own bottomless darkness. And it's not like I didn't know this already - it's just that I've tried very hard to avoid dwelling too much on it. And this film forced me to open my eyes right into the harsh sunlight, so to speak.
I could ramble on, but I do want my 6+ hours of sleep, so it's time to go. Sorry for being such a downer tonight. So inappropriate for the occasion. Blame it on my coworkers, though. Some of them think too much, instead of just mindlessly dragging their feet under the yoke like everyone else.:P
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2009-03-18 06:33 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-03-19 12:35 am (UTC)Also, it's a pity you deleted your original reply. You know I love your lengthy rambles.:)
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-10 04:37 pm (UTC)I shall remember that for the future :)
(no subject)
Date: 2009-03-19 01:04 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-03-19 02:37 am (UTC)Yes! I've wondered about that myself. He seems so strong and balanced - but then he is also such a kind, gentle soul, I'm sure all the ugly stuff going on has to hurt him deeply. It takes a lot of courage to go out there actively and seek the truth, and I admire him for it; but I also freely admit I'm nowhere near as ambitious in that department. Overwhelmed and paralyzed is my typical reaction, and that doesn't exactly help anyone with anything. On the other hand, once your eyes have been opened, you can't close them again - or you can, but you will still see the horror right under your eyelids. *shudder*
(no subject)
Date: 2009-03-19 09:55 am (UTC)Sorry to hear about all this unhappy stuff that is going on in your life right now :(
Neck pains are horrible...if you were here I would give you a nice massage *g* (I've done a mini-course in Indian head massage) with relaxing music, incense, coconut oil (or do you refer almond?)... ... ...
(no subject)
Date: 2009-03-20 01:24 am (UTC)By the way, I've been meaning to thank you for all the nice little tokens you've been sending me on Facebook... I just don't seem to know what to do with them, or to get used to how the site works. It's hard to explain it, but something about Facebook just doesn't sit right with me. I don't feel comfortable there. I don't feel like it really tells me anything about anyone who happens to be there, or lets me connect with anyone (like LJ or other blog-type websites do) - it's just flashing images and ads and random snippets of thought that don't lead anywhere. I'm not sure if I'm making any sense here, but I guess I'm just too used to a more text-based form of online interaction. I like making long, rambling posts, and I like reading other people's long, rambling posts (whether it's fiction, thoughts, opinions, personal stuff or whatever). Facebook doesn't have that. It might be a good way to connect with people you already know - but I don't really know anyone there, except for a few LJ-friends that I much prefer to see on LJ anyway.:) Or possibly a few coworkers, with whom I have no need for online interaction whatsoever.:) So try as I might, I don't see much point in me having a Facebook account.
Well... I guess I'll shut up now. Just wanted to let you know I'm not ignoring your sweet gestures on purpose. I even tried to post some of them on my profile - but that little message box that said "Send (...) a (something)", with my real name on it, just totally made me cringe. I can't even explain why without sounding paranoid or something... but there it is. I want my online life, and the name that features on my legal papers, to be two completely separate entities. Of course some of my LJ friends do know my real name, but I trust them not to use it here while replying to my post or comments. So if I became more active on Facebook, friending other LJ-people who have accounts there, someone might get the idea to mix the two - which would probably result in me locking up this LJ. And I don't want to do that, unless I absolutely have to.
Sorry for the rant, and I'm really shutting up this time.:P
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-14 10:04 am (UTC)You absolutely don't HAVE to use or even look at FB!!!
It's good for me, 'coz it's a way to keep in touch with my friends in Italy and elsewhere, but it's not the only way, of course ;)
I found an article about Viggo I'd like to send you, but I'm not sire I have your new home address. Could u send it to me by email? Cheers ;)
((((LOVE))))
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-15 01:18 am (UTC)I found an article about Viggo I'd like to send you
Wow. That's lovely. Thank you so much. Will email you shortly. *hugs*
(no subject)
Date: 2009-03-30 12:48 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-03-30 01:05 am (UTC)