life and other lethal diseases
Mar. 17th, 2009 08:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
floatingleafHappy St. Patrick's Day, flist.
I'm not feeling particularly bright or green right now, actually, but I have promised myself to at least try to post tonight, so here goes.
Ever since the switch to the Daylight Savings Time it's been a struggle to get up every morning, and work has been busier and more absorbing than usual for the past few weeks, including overtime on Saturdays, which of course my current financial status puts me in no position to decline, no matter how deeply unexcited I am about it. *sigh* Plus, my neck is being a total bitch and just aches all the time, regardless of any heating pad treatments, scorching hot showers, stretching exercises and pain relieving ointments I lavish upon it. My chiropractor does what she can, but the relief never lasts more than a few days, and I can't see her every weekend, because my healthcare plan only allows 20 visits per year. I have to take time out of each (way too short anyway) evening at home to attend to those stiff, overworked muscles, and it makes me feel old (just don't give me the "wait till you're fifty" line, OK?...;). As a result of that, I don't have time to actually exercise - as in work on strengthening the rest of my body - because by the time I've warmed up and stretched the neck & shoulders, I usually need to start getting ready for bed. I still cook and eat healthy, because it's become very important to me (and undoubtedly eliminates other health problems I would otherwise have), but it takes a lot of careful planning and time as well - so there isn't much else I can realistically set out to do on a daily basis. Oh, and last Sunday I spent 3,5 hours at Firestone, waiting to get my car fixed, which ended up costing over $350. It was something to do with suspension, which is pretty serious, so I needed to fix it asap, rather than wait for the car to collapse in on itself. But, of course, it didn't help my budget. So yeah, I'll be working overtime even when I'm sick of it.:/
In other unrelated news, I watched Zeitgeist last weekend. Or the first part of it, anyway. It was recommended to me by a coworker, who sent me the link to the website:
http://www.zeitgeistmovie.com
It didn't surprise me all that much (I had seen Loose Change before, on the recommendation of the same coworker), but it certainly depressed me - more than I'd like to admit, I suppose. Because it makes way too much perfect sense to be dismissed as leftist propaganda. I feel like I finally connected the dots that were there in front of me all along - and in this case, it's not a good feeling. Because the picture that emerges is way too much to handle. And I feel duped and powerless and so outraged and yet so pointless, insignificant and weak. This is what reality does to me. I can't handle it. Please give me back my pink, pretty bubble. It's not like I can change anything. I can only lose my sleep over it, or have nightmares. Or feel ashamed to be a human being, because human beings are the most heartless, evil creatures on earth. Which is why they have to invent mythical dark forces - to cover up their own bottomless darkness. And it's not like I didn't know this already - it's just that I've tried very hard to avoid dwelling too much on it. And this film forced me to open my eyes right into the harsh sunlight, so to speak.
I could ramble on, but I do want my 6+ hours of sleep, so it's time to go. Sorry for being such a downer tonight. So inappropriate for the occasion. Blame it on my coworkers, though. Some of them think too much, instead of just mindlessly dragging their feet under the yoke like everyone else.:P
I'm not feeling particularly bright or green right now, actually, but I have promised myself to at least try to post tonight, so here goes.
Ever since the switch to the Daylight Savings Time it's been a struggle to get up every morning, and work has been busier and more absorbing than usual for the past few weeks, including overtime on Saturdays, which of course my current financial status puts me in no position to decline, no matter how deeply unexcited I am about it. *sigh* Plus, my neck is being a total bitch and just aches all the time, regardless of any heating pad treatments, scorching hot showers, stretching exercises and pain relieving ointments I lavish upon it. My chiropractor does what she can, but the relief never lasts more than a few days, and I can't see her every weekend, because my healthcare plan only allows 20 visits per year. I have to take time out of each (way too short anyway) evening at home to attend to those stiff, overworked muscles, and it makes me feel old (just don't give me the "wait till you're fifty" line, OK?...;). As a result of that, I don't have time to actually exercise - as in work on strengthening the rest of my body - because by the time I've warmed up and stretched the neck & shoulders, I usually need to start getting ready for bed. I still cook and eat healthy, because it's become very important to me (and undoubtedly eliminates other health problems I would otherwise have), but it takes a lot of careful planning and time as well - so there isn't much else I can realistically set out to do on a daily basis. Oh, and last Sunday I spent 3,5 hours at Firestone, waiting to get my car fixed, which ended up costing over $350. It was something to do with suspension, which is pretty serious, so I needed to fix it asap, rather than wait for the car to collapse in on itself. But, of course, it didn't help my budget. So yeah, I'll be working overtime even when I'm sick of it.:/
In other unrelated news, I watched Zeitgeist last weekend. Or the first part of it, anyway. It was recommended to me by a coworker, who sent me the link to the website:
http://www.zeitgeistmovie.com
It didn't surprise me all that much (I had seen Loose Change before, on the recommendation of the same coworker), but it certainly depressed me - more than I'd like to admit, I suppose. Because it makes way too much perfect sense to be dismissed as leftist propaganda. I feel like I finally connected the dots that were there in front of me all along - and in this case, it's not a good feeling. Because the picture that emerges is way too much to handle. And I feel duped and powerless and so outraged and yet so pointless, insignificant and weak. This is what reality does to me. I can't handle it. Please give me back my pink, pretty bubble. It's not like I can change anything. I can only lose my sleep over it, or have nightmares. Or feel ashamed to be a human being, because human beings are the most heartless, evil creatures on earth. Which is why they have to invent mythical dark forces - to cover up their own bottomless darkness. And it's not like I didn't know this already - it's just that I've tried very hard to avoid dwelling too much on it. And this film forced me to open my eyes right into the harsh sunlight, so to speak.
I could ramble on, but I do want my 6+ hours of sleep, so it's time to go. Sorry for being such a downer tonight. So inappropriate for the occasion. Blame it on my coworkers, though. Some of them think too much, instead of just mindlessly dragging their feet under the yoke like everyone else.:P
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2009-03-30 12:48 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-03-30 01:05 am (UTC)