creative impotence, as it were

[floatingleaf]

More postcards from dissonant_dream!!! I received two this week: a beautiful poetry quote by Dylan Thomas and a fiery sunset over Vancouver. Thank you so much, dear. I hope you're holding up against the stormy waves of life. *massive hugs*

I really want to write more A/L and/or Elladan/Elrohir, and there are bits and pieces of dialogue floating around in my head... but I can't seem to find the focus and concentration needed to write them down or give them some semblance of structure. I just totally suck at structure, lol. My brain is like a hat with a ton of little scraps of paper thrown into it, each one containing 1-2 sentences at best. I can write you a perfect sentence any day - but how do I connect all these sentences to one another, so that they make a story?... This is where the FAIL factor comes in for me. There seems to be no logical connection between all the little scenes/images in my brain. Not even enough of a logical connection to piece together a drabble.:/

How do people write multi-chapter stories?... Or novels, for that matter? I've always wanted to write a novel - ever since I was a kid. Not that I ever had a concept for a novel, mind you. I just loved the ACT of writing, of putting together sentences, polishing them, making them sound good, picking and choosing words that go well with each other... Content was always kind of secondary to me, lol. Whenever I thought I had an idea, I was only able to sustain it for a few pages at best... then my inspiration ran dry and I had to start over. The one thing that seemed easier was poetry - and traditional poetry worked best, because the structure of a stanza seemed to dictate the content in a way. I wrote a long "epic" poem as a teenager (17 chapters), with perfectly even syllable count and AABBCC etc. rhymes throughout. I still have it. It's pretty awful.:) I mean, the story is awful (het romance, heartbreak and suicide, because I didn't know any better back then ;P), and the rhymes are cheap, but my point is, I was actually able to complete it, because I looked for words that rhymed with the ending of the previous line and went from there. I'm all about words. I get high on words, lol. I can pore over a dictionary with a flush of excitement on my cheeks - but when it comes to plot ideas, I feel so utterly helpless it's not even funny anymore. Yes, I want my characters to feel intense, immediate attraction and then fall in love - but when it comes to the particulars, I feel like everything I can possibly come up with has been done to death, fanfic realm or not. Of course, I could just stick to reading other people's stuff - which is what I do, most of the time. But still, the urge to write is sometimes terribly strong - and, when not accompanied by any actual inspiration, almost painful. It feels like some kind of disability; especially when I'm reading a good, plotty fanfic that could use a beta on the language side. I bite my lip and go: shit, if only I had that plot idea, I could execute it so much better! I mean, I could actually spell all those words right, get rid of the useless repetitions, prevent the character from changing his eye color from one paragraph to the next etc.;) But the sad part it, it wasn't my plot idea, and all my superb language skills aren't enough to create a story - while someone else's imagination, even coupled with spelling errors, IS enough. See what I mean?... You can improve the style when you have content - if there's no content in the first place, there's nothing to improve. Just this endless frustration. If only...

The funny part is, I didn't even mean to talk about this today. A spontaneous rant, yay! ;P I may not be able to write fanfic anymore, but I at least I can write about my inability to write fanfic.:|

Comments

[vamp-ress.livejournal.com]

I can relate... my muses are still MIA as well. I did come up with some V/O ideas during the last two weeks, but now I don't have time to sit down and see whether I can write them. It's very frustrating:(

[floatingleaf.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the inspiration seems to come only when there is no time to follow through on it... *sigh*

I'll keep my fingers crossed for your V/O fic, though.;)

[surreysmum.livejournal.com]

Actually, it sounds to me as if a prompt table might work for you! Why don't you grab one and then, with no fixed deadline, just every time you have an idea, match it up with one of the prompt words, and write a ficlet and post it. There's no particular reason they should be related, except perhaps you could make them all L/A or E/E. You could set yourself a technical challenge (give yourself a minimum word count, perhaps, or have one particular phrase or image you use or make reference to in each story). And that way you'd be posting, getting feedback and encouragement, and easing the ache!

I'd love to see more fic from you!

[floatingleaf.livejournal.com]

it sounds to me as if a prompt table might work for you

Hmmm... I suppose it might. Where do I get one?

Or maybe I should try to write an A/L sonnet, like you did?... Yours were so brilliant, though, I might easily fall into the trap of unintentional plagiarism.;)

[surreysmum.livejournal.com]

I'd love to see another A/L sonnet or two! Then mine wouldn't be so lonely in the world. :)

As for prompt tables, the one I used for my A/L sequence is in my LJ (you can get the link from the fic list at the top). That came from the comm viggos_50. Usually they're posted by people who've started a prompt fic community. You could try searching "prompt tables" in "interests" on LJ. Or browse through some of the big v/o comms. The trouble with RPS prompt tables is they often have words in them that don't exactly fit into Middle Earth, so you might have to be a bit picky. Or you could always put one together yourself! :)

Or you could post a query at aragornlegolas and legolasaragorn (are you on both of those?), or one of the Elvish comms/messageboards asking if anybody could recommend a good one.

I found the viggos_50 table quite useful, though. That table was put together by zee113, if you want to acknowledge her.

Hope that helps!

[floatingleaf.livejournal.com]

Thanks for all the suggestions. I will have a look around.:)

The trouble with RPS prompt tables is they often have words in them that don't exactly fit into Middle Earth

Very true. Definitely will not use "lube" or "condoms", lol.

Yes, I am on both aragornlegolas and legolasaragorn. Pretty much the only places I ever post.:)

[taelyn-sass.livejournal.com]

Surreymum's suggestion is good. A prompt table will help you get on track. Good luck!!!

[floatingleaf.livejournal.com]

Thanks! :)

That's a lovely icon you have there, btw. *stares*

[taelyn-sass.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :) Autumn and slightly spooky for Halloween.

[dissonant-dream.livejournal.com]

I like this post. :D First up, yay postcards! ♥ Glad you're still enjoying them. And writing. I hope you find your focus. My muses have gone into hiding. Far, far away. In Yemen. I just...I really relate to this post. ♥ *hugs*

[floatingleaf.livejournal.com]

MY muses are probably somewhere in Kamchatka.;P

And I always enjoy any 'sign of life' from you. *hugs tightly back*

[dissonant-dream.livejournal.com]

Maybe our muses ran off together. Pesky little things. ;P

*hugs* I am off work this week and trying to catch up a bit. It makes me happy being here with you guys and I hate when I let it slide. I'm working on it. :)

[floatingleaf.livejournal.com]

Maybe our muses ran off together.

Heh. I wish... if that would make my muses pick up some of your flavor.;) Provided they ever come back.:P

It makes me happy being here with you guys and I hate when I let it slide.

My sentiments exactly.:) The two weeks without a computer back in August were a serious trauma... lol.

[dissonant-dream.livejournal.com]

That's crazy talk! (Also? I'm not sure mine are ever coming back, they're tricksy that way)

It's funny how this has become necessity. But I don't mind. It's all good. ♥ *hugs*