what am I doing up at this time, anyway?
Mar. 15th, 2010 12:25 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
floatingleafOkay. Here's a Get-To-Know-Your-F-List meme that I stole from illuins_lair. If you are so inclined, copy the questions below and give me your answers - either in a comment to this post, or in your own journal. Feel free to skip any questions you don't like - I'd rather have just a few answers than none at all.:P
01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
02) What was your dream growing up?
03) What talent do you wish you had?
04) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
05) Favorite vegetable?
06) What was the last book you read?
07) What zodiac sign are you?
08) Any tattoos and/or piercings? Explain where.
09) Worst habit?
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
11) What is your favorite sport?
12) Do you have a pessimistic or optimistic attitude?
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
16) Do you have any pets?
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
18) What was your first impression of me?
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
22) What eye colour do you have?
23) Ever been arrested?
24) Bottle or can soda?
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
26) What's your favorite place to hang out?
27) Do you believe in ghosts?
28) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
29) Do you swear a lot?
30) Biggest pet peeve?
31) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
32) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
33) Favorite and least favorite food?
34) Do you believe in God?
My own answers forilluins_lair are :
01) Are you currently in a serious relationship? No. Unless you account for the fact that I am channeling a certain blond elf in my bedtime fantasies - in which case I have a very serious, committed relationship with a certain darkly handsome ranger.;P
02) What was your dream growing up? To not have to grow up at all. (I swear, Marianne, I am not copying your answer - we really are that alike.:D)
03) What talent do you wish you had? Writing. I mean REAL writing - with original characters, plot, the works. I really wish I had that, and I don't.
04) If I bought you a drink what would it be? Something sweet and fruity.
05) Favorite vegetable? Red onion, I think. Or garlic, since I toss incredible amounts of it into everything I cook.
06) What was the last book you read? Night's Sorceries by Tanith Lee. Gorgeous stuff. I am totally awed by what this woman does with language.
07) What zodiac sign are you? Pisces. With Virgo rising, and a Gemini moon. Can't you tell? :D
08) Any tattoos and/or piercings? Explain where. Naaah. I don't enjoy pain.:P
09) Worst habit? Staying up too late, and spending too much time glued to the computer. I keep trying to change that, but... um... you know. *shifty eyes*
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride? Sure, doll. But I've got to warn you - my vehicle isn't particularly impressive. You might actually prefer to walk than be seen in such a rusty pile of old metal scraps.:D
11) What is your favorite sport? Sport? What's that? Oh, I like to watch figure skating sometimes. Or used to, when I still had access to a TV. Looong ago. *shrug*
12) Do you have a pessimistic or optimistic attitude? That depends on my mood.:P
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me? Talk about hot elves, 'power bottoms' and all that other fascinating stuff. You know what I mean.:D
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you? Having to spend an entire week in the company of someone who had just dumped me AND someone I happened to be in love with - while they were having an innocent little fling with each other (more innocent, actually, than I thought at the time, but no one saw fit to inform me of that until much later). And feeling obliged to pretend (very poorly, I'm sure) that I was having a great time - for the sake of kind, clueless strangers whose hospitality we were all utilizing for the duration.
15) Tell me one weird fact about you. I don't own a TV set, and I am not planning on getting one anytime soon.
16) Do you have any pets? No. Unless you count the squirrel family that lives on my windowsill (long story, lol).
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly? There would be some high-pitched squeeing, I'm sure.;P
18) What was your first impression of me? A beautiful mind.
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary? Neither. They are annoying.:P
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be? Strangely enough, I think I would be perfectly happy if my looks simply went back to what they were 10-15 years ago. Except for the boobs - I'd keep those, since I didn't have any back then.:P
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience? That would depend on the crime.;)
22) What eye colour do you have? Blue.
23) Ever been arrested? Nope.
24) Bottle or can soda? Neither. Water or tea, please.
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it? Get a new car, before I have to spend another few hundred to fix the old one.:/
26) What's your favorite place to hang out? At home. Where else? *shrug*
27) Do you believe in ghosts? Depending on how you define them, I might.
28) Favorite thing to do in your spare time? Reading. Fiction, fanfiction, blogs, news, social commentary - anything that keeps the brainwheels turning. Reading is like breathing. I couldn't exist without it.
29) Do you swear a lot? No more than the average person, I suppose.
30) Biggest pet peeve? Commercials. Especially ones that flash or start talking to you with no warning. Like I said above, I don't have a TV - but even online commercials have become obnoxious lately, and it really gets on my nerves sometimes. *growls*
31) In one word, how would you describe yourself? Introspective.
32) Do you believe/appreciate romance? Absolutely.
33) Favorite and least favorite food? Favorite? Sushi, I think. Least favorite? I don't know. Possibly that staple of American 'cuisine', The Hamburger - I have never been able to see its appeal.:P
34) Do you believe in God? In a way, yes. Not necessarily under that particular name, though. In other words: in God, yes; in institutionalized religion - certainly not.
illuins_lair. If you are so inclined, copy the questions below and give me your answers - either in a comment to this post, or in your own journal. Feel free to skip any questions you don't like - I'd rather have just a few answers than none at all.:P 01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
02) What was your dream growing up?
03) What talent do you wish you had?
04) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
05) Favorite vegetable?
06) What was the last book you read?
07) What zodiac sign are you?
08) Any tattoos and/or piercings? Explain where.
09) Worst habit?
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
11) What is your favorite sport?
12) Do you have a pessimistic or optimistic attitude?
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
16) Do you have any pets?
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
18) What was your first impression of me?
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
22) What eye colour do you have?
23) Ever been arrested?
24) Bottle or can soda?
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
26) What's your favorite place to hang out?
27) Do you believe in ghosts?
28) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
29) Do you swear a lot?
30) Biggest pet peeve?
31) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
32) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
33) Favorite and least favorite food?
34) Do you believe in God?
My own answers for
illuins_lair are :01) Are you currently in a serious relationship? No. Unless you account for the fact that I am channeling a certain blond elf in my bedtime fantasies - in which case I have a very serious, committed relationship with a certain darkly handsome ranger.;P
02) What was your dream growing up? To not have to grow up at all. (I swear, Marianne, I am not copying your answer - we really are that alike.:D)
03) What talent do you wish you had? Writing. I mean REAL writing - with original characters, plot, the works. I really wish I had that, and I don't.
04) If I bought you a drink what would it be? Something sweet and fruity.
05) Favorite vegetable? Red onion, I think. Or garlic, since I toss incredible amounts of it into everything I cook.
06) What was the last book you read? Night's Sorceries by Tanith Lee. Gorgeous stuff. I am totally awed by what this woman does with language.
07) What zodiac sign are you? Pisces. With Virgo rising, and a Gemini moon. Can't you tell? :D
08) Any tattoos and/or piercings? Explain where. Naaah. I don't enjoy pain.:P
09) Worst habit? Staying up too late, and spending too much time glued to the computer. I keep trying to change that, but... um... you know. *shifty eyes*
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride? Sure, doll. But I've got to warn you - my vehicle isn't particularly impressive. You might actually prefer to walk than be seen in such a rusty pile of old metal scraps.:D
11) What is your favorite sport? Sport? What's that? Oh, I like to watch figure skating sometimes. Or used to, when I still had access to a TV. Looong ago. *shrug*
12) Do you have a pessimistic or optimistic attitude? That depends on my mood.:P
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me? Talk about hot elves, 'power bottoms' and all that other fascinating stuff. You know what I mean.:D
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you? Having to spend an entire week in the company of someone who had just dumped me AND someone I happened to be in love with - while they were having an innocent little fling with each other (more innocent, actually, than I thought at the time, but no one saw fit to inform me of that until much later). And feeling obliged to pretend (very poorly, I'm sure) that I was having a great time - for the sake of kind, clueless strangers whose hospitality we were all utilizing for the duration.
15) Tell me one weird fact about you. I don't own a TV set, and I am not planning on getting one anytime soon.
16) Do you have any pets? No. Unless you count the squirrel family that lives on my windowsill (long story, lol).
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly? There would be some high-pitched squeeing, I'm sure.;P
18) What was your first impression of me? A beautiful mind.
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary? Neither. They are annoying.:P
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be? Strangely enough, I think I would be perfectly happy if my looks simply went back to what they were 10-15 years ago. Except for the boobs - I'd keep those, since I didn't have any back then.:P
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience? That would depend on the crime.;)
22) What eye colour do you have? Blue.
23) Ever been arrested? Nope.
24) Bottle or can soda? Neither. Water or tea, please.
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it? Get a new car, before I have to spend another few hundred to fix the old one.:/
26) What's your favorite place to hang out? At home. Where else? *shrug*
27) Do you believe in ghosts? Depending on how you define them, I might.
28) Favorite thing to do in your spare time? Reading. Fiction, fanfiction, blogs, news, social commentary - anything that keeps the brainwheels turning. Reading is like breathing. I couldn't exist without it.
29) Do you swear a lot? No more than the average person, I suppose.
30) Biggest pet peeve? Commercials. Especially ones that flash or start talking to you with no warning. Like I said above, I don't have a TV - but even online commercials have become obnoxious lately, and it really gets on my nerves sometimes. *growls*
31) In one word, how would you describe yourself? Introspective.
32) Do you believe/appreciate romance? Absolutely.
33) Favorite and least favorite food? Favorite? Sushi, I think. Least favorite? I don't know. Possibly that staple of American 'cuisine', The Hamburger - I have never been able to see its appeal.:P
34) Do you believe in God? In a way, yes. Not necessarily under that particular name, though. In other words: in God, yes; in institutionalized religion - certainly not.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2010-04-08 02:59 am (UTC)I'm just not good at hiding my emotions from people who matter - so at some point I simply decided to stop trying
It´s ok to surrender I suppose. I do it all the fucking time really. Actually, I´m all for the openness. (nah! Who could tell?) Well, in the end it´s not like there is a prize to those who hides emotions..*generally throws self off cliff*
Now, if we're both doing it without even consciously attempting to do it - what does that say?
Hmm.. could be anything from Emotional Ability versus Highspeed-connection across the oceans, just pure psychology or self-suggestion, or maybe some kind of channeling due to heavily pervyfied brains after years of slash-reading? Really, things like that happen – obviously without that we know of its reasons. Sometimes people clash?
I don’t know you, you don´t know me. But we have a lot of thoughts in common and things to share, I think.
I´m possibly very much in love with your brain/in lust with your fics/infatuated by your personality somehow, though I admit it sounds really weird but that´s what it is. I´m not stupid; I have no idea if I would “feel” anything in terms of attraction or deeper feelings should we ever meet - as that is, I guess, pure chemistry and can´t really be inflicted upon by the power of will as far as I know. And it´s not really important because the probability that our RL-paths will cross is pretty small and I don´t think it really matters one way or the other. Nonetheless it is possible to connect despite everything else and have an important exchange both spiritually/emotionally - and what the hell; even sexually, as seen in the slashtastic little heaven wherein we both find ourselves.
The probability of me developing an unhealthy fascination with someone seems to be directly DISproportionate to the person's actual "availability"
Ok. I understand your fear. Maybe you can see what is your “lesson” (if you believe in such things) to learn in love, if you decipher the pattern. If there is one, only you´ll know it. (Unless there´s a total conspiracy somewhere..) =P
When you say “unhealthy fascination”, what exactly does it mean to you? Because I don´t really see anything wrong with fascinations at all. We get attached to some people - or archetypes even – and of course it´s damn fascinating! Those want to teach us something, or they can be gifts given unaware or perhaps even given to ourselves from ourselves – meaning that we have drawn them to us because of some reason. (Yeah, I know that I can be awfully philosophic at times, but what else to do with thoughts except sharing them?)
So I've been kind of promising myself that next time, before I ever let the butterflies into my stomach, I will first make sure that there is an actual CHANCE of that situation leading SOMEWHERE
It is easy making deals with oneself innit? LOL+omg!yay!butterflies =)
But I do believe it´s possible to connect with people, whichever way that happens; be it 5 minutes or 20 years, but we can´t really avoid meeting certain souls on our way through life. So whatever this is, if there is a “this” - it´s really ok from my POV to just let it be what it is. A connection. We don´t need to make it into something else, though I don´t think we should ignore it either. What I´m saying is.. it´s ok, “this” – in fact it´s really fucking great. We just don´t need to give it any other name. Does it matter where it leads? Life doesn´t hold any guarantees. What is certain now is uncertain tomorrow and well, I guess that´s my view of life as it comes to me at 5 am. *snerk*
(no subject)
Date: 2010-04-10 03:53 am (UTC)Now, that's an interesting theory...;P
I´m not stupid; I have no idea if I would “feel” anything in terms of attraction or deeper feelings should we ever meet - as that is, I guess, pure chemistry and can´t really be inflicted upon by the power of will as far as I know. And it´s not really important because the probability that our RL-paths will cross is pretty small and I don´t think it really matters one way or the other. Nonetheless it is possible to connect despite everything else and have an important exchange both spiritually/emotionally - and what the hell; even sexually, as seen in the slashtastic little heaven wherein we both find ourselves.
Yes. *breathes* You are right, of course. It doesn't really matter what would or wouldn't happen IF we ever met in RL, and puzzling over it is totally pointless right now. See, I have this tendency to make things appear more complicated than they really have to be. Must be my mother's genes or something, dammit.:P When something feels good, I have this uncanny ability to spoil it by wondering WHY it feels good, how long it's going to feel that way and if there is a price tag attached to it, LOL. I don't like this about myself, and I certainly don't want to inflict it on other people by spoiling THEIR fun as well.:( So please - if you ever catch me doing it again (inventing problems out of thin air, that is), just give me a gentle shake, OK?...;)
Maybe you can see what is your “lesson” (if you believe in such things) to learn in love, if you decipher the pattern. If there is one, only you´ll know it.
It's been suggested to me that I'm doing it on purpose - not consciously, of course, but intentionally nonetheless - because it's "safer" to love people from a distance. This may very well be true (and my numerous "celebrity crushes" also seem to confirm this). All the less reason to complain about the distance then, isn't it?... *sigh*
When you say “unhealthy fascination”, what exactly does it mean to you?
That's a good question, because I find I don't really know. I suppose I just used that word because I tend to get very self-deprecating when I am feeling vulnerable. You know, totally mocking myself before anyone else has a chance to do it. Your simple, logical question made me realize that I was doing it again, and that it's not facilitating the communication process... lol.
So whatever this is, if there is a “this” - it´s really ok from my POV to just let it be what it is. A connection. We don´t need to make it into something else, though I don´t think we should ignore it either. What I´m saying is.. it´s ok, “this” – in fact it´s really fucking great. We just don´t need to give it any other name. Does it matter where it leads? Life doesn´t hold any guarantees. What is certain now is uncertain tomorrow
Very true - but see, this is precisely why I have issues with life, lol. I WANT my guarantees, dammit.;) I tend to overthink everything all the time and run ahead of myself and... oh dear. This is where I usually scare people off, so The Time To Bolt Is Now.:D But seriously, you are absolutely right - it makes perfect sense to just "let it be what it is", and to simply enjoy it. Why hasn't that occurred to me?... *headdesk*