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floatingleafSo. Dad's neurologist says that the results of the EEG test are inconclusive. Meaning, they don't look normal, but he needs more detail before he can attempt a diagnosis. So he wants dad to have another EEG - this time the electrodes will stay glued to his head for three days instead of 30 minutes. Fortunately, this sort of thing is done at the patient's home - someone will come and attach the electrodes, and then come back three days later to take them off. And all the while dad will be able to move freely around the house while wearing them (or so the doctor said). Hopefully this test will clarify the situation - but it also means that dad can't go back to work yet and needs to extend his short-term disability for another three months (the follow-up neurologist appointment is in April). After which he has to either come back or quit the job (or they can fire him anyway).
In other angst-inducing news, my mother also has a strange medical problem which requires immediate attention. Namely, her 'woman parts' seem to be, uh... falling out. This can supposedly happen due to either old age or as a result of intense physical labor (in her case, that would be both). Her mother had it too. Fixing it usually requires a surgical procedure. After which she would be forbidden to indulge in any sort of physical exertion for at least a week (if not much longer). And since she works as a self-employed cleaning lady, that would mean having to cancel all work until she is well again. And that would mean massive loss of income. She doesn't get any health benefits, obviously - I mean, the procedure itself may be covered under my dad's insurance, but she won't earn a penny while she's recovering, and if any of her employers (she has a different 'job' for each day of the week) decide to hire someone else in her absence, there's nothing she can do about it. And that would mean a serious blow to the household budget. As in, basically, having to get rid of the house itself ASAP. Except, at this point, if the house sells at all, it's going to sell for half-price or less. After all the hard work both my parents have put into it, that would be heartbreaking. But they aren't likely to have any choice in the matter - unless, of course, they'd rather work themselves to death, or starve while clinging to the cherished fruit of their labors. While the 'American dream' crumbles to dust under their weary feet. I hope it was worth it for them to at least have tried, you know. *gnashes teeth*
So yeah - the future looks pretty bleak. Maybe my own petty troubles seem very insignificant in the face of that - or maybe that just makes it all worse, somehow. Anyway, for the record, I've been feeling extremely tense AND exhausted since Friday night - not a good combination at all.:/ The ridiculously angsty dream I had on Friday would have made me laugh if it wasn't quite so pathetic. Namely, I was at work, getting ready to start on those fateful phone calls, when suddenly there was a power outage. And immediately it became very dark - even though it was the middle of the day. And we all had to leave the building, because supposedly there was a fire somewhere. Sure enough, outside we saw lots of smoke obscuring the view on one side of the street - while on the other, there seemed to be a flood approaching. Like a total, full blown apocalypse/doom/The Road kinda thing. And suddenly I was all alone and couldn't make sense of my surroundings, couln't find my car etc. - not that it would have been of much use to me at that point. And while I was running around in circles, talking to myself because I was feeling so distraught - I suddenly encountered two teenage girls strolling leisurely by. I didn't recognize them - but they seemed to know me, and offered some snide comments, mocking me for my pathetic behavior... and also for being gay. Sic. Teenage angst revisited, lol. Now I know what can be the only thing worse than the apocalypse.:P Basically, that dream was all my fears and insecurities rolled into one. One condensed bitter pill of misery. I woke up rigid with tension, and it never quite went away, even though I slept a little better the next two nights. During the days, I've been keeping myself occupied so as not to think about it - but the angst is there, right under the skin, and I am basically just putting up a calm facade over a quivering sack of jello. If anyone notices my strange mental state at work tomorrow, I am just going to say it's because of my parents' health problems - not because I am scared shitless of making an idiot of myself in front of everyone while talking on the phone, obviously. No one would even BELIEVE that, anyway. *headdesk*
In other angst-inducing news, my mother also has a strange medical problem which requires immediate attention. Namely, her 'woman parts' seem to be, uh... falling out. This can supposedly happen due to either old age or as a result of intense physical labor (in her case, that would be both). Her mother had it too. Fixing it usually requires a surgical procedure. After which she would be forbidden to indulge in any sort of physical exertion for at least a week (if not much longer). And since she works as a self-employed cleaning lady, that would mean having to cancel all work until she is well again. And that would mean massive loss of income. She doesn't get any health benefits, obviously - I mean, the procedure itself may be covered under my dad's insurance, but she won't earn a penny while she's recovering, and if any of her employers (she has a different 'job' for each day of the week) decide to hire someone else in her absence, there's nothing she can do about it. And that would mean a serious blow to the household budget. As in, basically, having to get rid of the house itself ASAP. Except, at this point, if the house sells at all, it's going to sell for half-price or less. After all the hard work both my parents have put into it, that would be heartbreaking. But they aren't likely to have any choice in the matter - unless, of course, they'd rather work themselves to death, or starve while clinging to the cherished fruit of their labors. While the 'American dream' crumbles to dust under their weary feet. I hope it was worth it for them to at least have tried, you know. *gnashes teeth*
So yeah - the future looks pretty bleak. Maybe my own petty troubles seem very insignificant in the face of that - or maybe that just makes it all worse, somehow. Anyway, for the record, I've been feeling extremely tense AND exhausted since Friday night - not a good combination at all.:/ The ridiculously angsty dream I had on Friday would have made me laugh if it wasn't quite so pathetic. Namely, I was at work, getting ready to start on those fateful phone calls, when suddenly there was a power outage. And immediately it became very dark - even though it was the middle of the day. And we all had to leave the building, because supposedly there was a fire somewhere. Sure enough, outside we saw lots of smoke obscuring the view on one side of the street - while on the other, there seemed to be a flood approaching. Like a total, full blown apocalypse/doom/The Road kinda thing. And suddenly I was all alone and couldn't make sense of my surroundings, couln't find my car etc. - not that it would have been of much use to me at that point. And while I was running around in circles, talking to myself because I was feeling so distraught - I suddenly encountered two teenage girls strolling leisurely by. I didn't recognize them - but they seemed to know me, and offered some snide comments, mocking me for my pathetic behavior... and also for being gay. Sic. Teenage angst revisited, lol. Now I know what can be the only thing worse than the apocalypse.:P Basically, that dream was all my fears and insecurities rolled into one. One condensed bitter pill of misery. I woke up rigid with tension, and it never quite went away, even though I slept a little better the next two nights. During the days, I've been keeping myself occupied so as not to think about it - but the angst is there, right under the skin, and I am basically just putting up a calm facade over a quivering sack of jello. If anyone notices my strange mental state at work tomorrow, I am just going to say it's because of my parents' health problems - not because I am scared shitless of making an idiot of myself in front of everyone while talking on the phone, obviously. No one would even BELIEVE that, anyway. *headdesk*
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(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-09 04:09 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-09 05:00 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-09 03:28 pm (UTC)There IS good news here, so hang on.
For your mom--this is actually one of the most common things women go through. It's just one of those things that nobody wants to talk about! I can't tell from your description exactly what's happening, but it sounds like uterine prolapse. I had a hysterectomy (surgery) a month ago for a Grade 2 uterine prolapse with a Grade 3 rectocele and also a minor cystocele. Can you find out more specifics from her? Knowledge is power, especially in this situation. Maybe I can help with that.
Another good thing is that IF your mom needs surgery, she can hopefully get it done while your dad still has his insurance and she'll be covered.
For everyone, the key is to just KEEP BREATHING. I always find that when I'm getting freaked out and losing control, I'm taking really rapid, shallow breaths. Put your hand on your bellybutton and take a breath that raises your belly outward as far as it can go. Blow it out as slowly as possible, and when you think you're done, PUSH with your hand and empty those lungs a little bit more. Take as many of these deep breaths as you need, but try to make each one last a little longer and go a little slower than the one before. Close your eyes if you feel that would help.
Depending on what your mom might need to have done, there might be some things she CAN do while she can't do the physical labor part.
I'm looking forward to hearing back from you. *HUGS*
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-09 03:45 pm (UTC)How to Meditate: http://www.tarabrach.com/how-to-meditate.html
Tara Brach is one of my teachers. Her weekly class, both the talk and then the meditation with a bit of instruction are available for free, here: http://www.imcw.org/audio/audioarchives.html
I would also recommend, if you can justify the indulgence, purchasing an audio book for guided instruction. Jack Kornfield's Meditation for Beginner's is great.
Finally, if at all possible, find a copy of this:
http://www.amazon.com/When-Things-Fall-Apart-Difficult/dp/1570623449
*hugs*
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-10 12:42 am (UTC)I *really* want to hug you. It makes me full of frustration and I want to know if I can do something? Anything.
My mother went through the same thing as yours about a year ago, but it has adjusted itself (took a few months) and there was not a need for any surgery in the end. It´s quite common I think (nontheless unpleasant)
Stay close as a family, whatever happens you have each other.
Please do not panic. As
It´s interesting how in the crises of life we forget the most fundamental of everything, we forget how to breathe naturally..
I´m trying to do exactly that right now too, for different reasons. It does help. Maybe because it´s like the most basic thing in life and also the first thing that completely freaks out and rushes out of hand under pressure. Keep it simple, like counting breaths or just observing them. Generally: Please BREATHE. A lot.
Your dream seem like one of those unpleasent ones staying just under the skin, mocking for days after - filling up every part with annoying shivery-tense angst. They are tough. =/
One condensed bitter pill of misery. (Just your fears, but not at all pleasurable confronting them.)
I immediately got to think about "I dreamt I saw a great wave..."
Don´t fear sleep. It´s not yet dawn. Night changes many thoughts..
*sits next to your bed watching over your sleep and switches on pink!unicorniness to hunt away troublesome dreams*
*hands you some more blue balloons to stay afloat*
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-12 02:05 am (UTC)*clings with all her might*
I want to know if I can do something?
You are doing a lot just by letting me know you're here, and showing your understanding. Sometimes a sympathetic ear goes a looong way in making one feel better. *clings some more*
one of those unpleasent ones staying just under the skin, mocking for days after - filling up every part with annoying shivery-tense angst
Yeah. That's the exact kind. I get those a lot.:/
I immediately got to think about "I dreamt I saw a great wave..."
Yeah. Now where's Aragorn to hold your hand when you need him?...;)
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-12 04:22 pm (UTC)Aragorn is right here babe... *puts on ranger!look and chevaleresque manners*
*scoops up your elf-self and runs off to MirkwoodSPA for indulgeable massage*
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-13 04:17 am (UTC)I don't know the details of my mom's diagnosis yet - hopefully that will clear up soon since dad found a Polish-speaking gynaecologist for her. How are you feeling after your surgery? Did it take you long to recover and be able to move around again?
The one thing I'm afraid of is that she simply will not listen to the doctors, should they tell her to take it easy from now on. She is one of those obsessively hard-working people who just never slow down, you know? *sigh*
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-13 05:02 am (UTC)Having a doctor who speaks the same language will help a lot, but there is still a lot that doctors "forget" to tell patients about their surgeries. Sometimes I think they're afraid they will scare the person out of having the surgery done, and sometimes I think they really don't understand what it's like afterward since they haven't had the surgery themselves.
I am feeling MUCH better and continuing to be able to do more things each day, but I am still not all the way back to normal even after a month. I had a very big repair done to the posterior wall during my surgery, so it wasn't what you'd call 'typical' or 'ordinary'. Recovery depends on a lot of things, most importantly exactly what surgical procedure your mom needs for exactly what diagnosis your mom has. The uterus is primarily what "falls out" in women who share our problem, but the bladder can also drop down in the pelvis and cause problems as well as the rectum. There are many levels of severity, so each experience is very different. If you feel comfortable, you might ask your mom if she's having trouble with leaking when she coughs or sneezes (that would be the bladder dropping with the uterus), or if she's having a lot of constipation (the falling uterus blocks the rectum and prevents emptying). There are several non-surgical options that she can possibly try. If she decides with her doctor that surgery is what she needs, most of the people I talked with before my surgery said that in 2 months they felt pretty much back to normal, and in 6 months they were incredibly glad they'd had the surgery done and wondered why they'd put it off so long.
I'm obsessive too, and I love to keep up with the boys building houses and such at Habitat for Humanity. I've had to take a temporary break, but my doc knew beforehand that this is my life, and he's assured me if I'm patient and let everything heal up completely, I'll be able to resume normal stuff eventually.
Right now, the biggest thing I have to avoid is lifting. I'm not allowed to do the laundry (because of the extra repair I had to have done), but I compensate by carrying it in thirds instead of all at once in a basket, and that's working just fine. It takes me longer, but not that much. I wonder if your mom can team up with someone (maybe even your dad!) so that she can do her job in the parts that she IS able to do (dusting, washing dishes, sorting and folding laundry, ironing, cleaning sinks and toilets) if she's got help with the parts she might be restricted on (pulling the vacuum canister, carrying the basket of laundry, getting down to scrub the tub). Every day I need less help with things, and I'm finding new and creative ways to do stuff I probably wouldn't be allowed to do regularly. You just have to know WHY you have the limitation, and then figure out how to safely work WITH the limitation.
Keep me posted on what she says, and I'll try to help you find things so you can understand it and so she can plan for her recovery.
***HUGS***
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-13 05:28 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-13 05:00 pm (UTC). <<<------ (drool)
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-14 02:53 am (UTC)the biggest thing I have to avoid is lifting
Darn. Lifting is a big part of my mom's work. I even suspect she has made things worse by overtaxing herself on numerous occasions.:( She still thinks she is some kind of superwoman, you know.:/
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-14 03:41 am (UTC)She still thinks she is some kind of superwoman, you know.
Oh, man, ME TOO! People used to tease me and says I looked just like Linda Carter who played Wonder Woman, and sometimes you'd swear I took that to heart. I've even played her in the theater a few times, costume with special bullet-deflecting bracelets and all!
The trick with the lifting, for me, is figuring out how to use leverage to my advantage. So I'm not actually picking up the weight of things. Or I'm dividing the weight up and lifting two or three times, but it's not as heavy each time. The big idea is to avoid putting stress on the trunk muscles--the abdominal muscles and the muscles in the floor of the pelvis--so that they can heal. It's probably something she should be doing anyway, to protect her back as well.
Here's a good webpage from The Mayo Clinic in the US:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/uterine-prolapse/DS00700
And here's one from Cleveland Clinic:
http://my.clevelandclinic.org/disorders/Uterine_Prolapse/hic_Uterine_Prolapse.aspx
If your mom can get an evaluation by a physiotherapist, I found that extremely helpful,even though I'm a physiotherapist myself--we never studied that when I was in school (sort of a taboo subject at the time), but the field has exploded because so many people are needing help with this that lots of new research has been done. There are abdominal and pelvic floor exercises that can greatly improve the success of both conservative non-surgical treatment, as well as improved results after surgery. My cystocele that was causing urinary leaking when I sneezed had completely stopped giving me problems with just a couple of sessions of biofeedback and training with the physiotherapist. I had the hysterectomy for several different reasons including the prolapse, and the rectocele tear I had was something that could only be fixed through surgery.
Please feel free to ask me any questions you want. It's good that you're learning about this now, because with your grandmother and mother having this problem, it could be something you might also face one day. Preparing ahead of time might save you from some surgery too! :-D
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-14 06:51 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-14 10:43 pm (UTC)I wish I could have seen that! :P
with your grandmother and mother having this problem, it could be something you might also face one day
Well, I have never given birth, I am not overweight and I stick to a mostly healthy diet (= no frequent constipation etc.), so according to the links you provided, I seem to be in a rather "low risk" category. But, of course, that doesn't mean it can't happen. Those pelvic exercises seem like a good idea anyway.;)