Floating Leaf

You Are 48% Intuitive

Your intuition is often right, and you use it more than you may realize. Your gut feelings are usually a good guide, but you need more to go on when making a decision. You'll often check to see if the facts back up your feelings. And when your intuition is wrong, you work to improve it for the future.

How do you 'work to improve' your intuition, anyway?... *curious*

( Two more silly quizzes, because it's late and my brain refuses to come up with a meaningful post... LOL )

So, in light of the previous post, I am clearly not seeing my original Yahoo account ever again. Even though it will continue to exist, as long as my ex-roommate remains an AT&T customer. Apparently, paid accounts are not deleted, no matter how long they haven't been accessed by their owners. Which is somehow a worse thing to be aware of than having been wiped. Because if it had been wiped, I would know for sure that there is nothing more I can do, and would be able to simply move on. As it is, I can't help wondering about all the messages I have missed since I haven't been able to get in there. Not to mention the old, saved stuff I had been meaning to go back to. I keep kicking myself for not having saved at least some of it to my hard drive. And yes, I have created a new Yahoo!ID and signed on to most of my groups again; but it just feels weird to look at this new, empty mailbox. I open it and go: where the hell are all my folders??? - before I realize that there are no folders, because someone is playing an evil, sick joke on me. Just because I was too trusting and such a scenario simply never crossed my mind. *shakes head at herself and vows to be less naive in the future*

( more whinging behind the cut )

I am SO pathetic. After the doctor told me I need to lose weight, I decided to start exercising again (which I hadn't done since sometime in December). So I begin today, and after about ten minutes of mild bending & twisting I am DEAD. Just utterly, completely DEAD. Like I carried fifty pounds up a mountain, you know? That scares me, man. It's like I have no muscles at all. Just one big limp noodle.:/ And I used to do those same exercises pretty easily last year. Have I let myself go to the point of self-destruction?... How long will it take until I can do a simple 20-minute workout without my tongue hanging down to my knees?... And even if I manage that, will it be enough to STOP GAINING weight, let alone start losing?... Because the more I gain, the harder it will be to exercise. Oh God please don't let me become a 200-pound 'American nightmare' in 'plus size' baggy clothes. *shudder*

Sorry, flist. No offence meant to anyone. If I am a fat, lazy ass, then I have only myself to thank for it. And whinging about it is not going to help either. *gnashes teeth*

So, if I don't stick out this time and stop exercising AGAIN, you can all call me a pathetic, hopeless twat and punch me in the face. Because I was a slim, sexy lady about three years ago, and back then it would have taken very little effort to keep it that way. If only I had made that effort. But no. I was too lazy. So I woke up one day, about ten sizes later, very puzzled as to what actually happened. *headdesk*

God, I do hate myself sometimes.:|

So I called the doctor's office yesterday to ask about my test results. And guess what? A cheerful receptionist told me that everything came out nicely and that I am, in fact, perfectly healthy. Well, my cholesterol is slightly raised, but it's not dangerous or anything. I just need to consume more fiber.

Um... okaaay. I guess I should be relieved and happy, shouldn't I?... But somehow I'm not. Because, last time I checked, perfectly healthy people did not run to the loo 15 times a day. And I was sort of hoping I might get some help with that. But now, since I am supposedly healthy and apparently don't need any medication, I will just have to put up with it - no explanation and no relief in sight. I guess I was also hoping to obtain some justification to offer to anyone who might give me strange looks because of having to excuse myself to the bathroom three times more often than other people. I hoped I would be able to say: you know, I have such&such medical condition - and then everyone would be understanding and sympathetic, instead of vaguely suspicious (like my ex-boss at that awful job I had to quit last summer). Well... no such luck, it seems.:|

( Read more... )

Another lovely thing that seems to be all over LJ right now.:)



I wish I knew what a New Wave Puritan was (;P), but other than that, the description under "read my visual DNA" is frighteningly accurate.:D

( In other news... )

I've been feeling horribly nostalgic/sentimental lately for some reason. Maybe it's PMS. I don't know. Whatever. Anyway... I spent most of last night googling the names of pretty much every old friend from Poland I could think of. And, to my delighted surprise, I actually found some info on more people than I expected. For example, my favorite travel agent, who took me on two wonderful trips to Greece back in the nineties (and whom I later accidentally met at a gay bar :), is still in business, as confirmed by his brand new website with a photo and a contact email I can use to remind him of my existence. Same goes for a friend from university, the nicest of the three guys in my group, also accidentally met later at a gay bar (do you sense a pattern here?... LOL). He is now a doctor, and writes serious scientific publications about the methodology of teaching and foreign language acquisition. While another very academic and cosmopolitan friend, female this time (and, accidentally, an ex of an ex :P), who has lived and studied all over Europe, seems now, to my utter amazement, to be teaching German in... Kazakhstan (!!!). Oh well. It's a small world, after all.

But back to the point. So, for a second there, I was completely overjoyed at the prospect of using the contact info I found and getting in touch with those people again. But then came a moment of reflection and trying to figure out what I would actually tell them, should they respond and ask about my life. You know, I've been single for the past four or five years, I live alone, have a stupid, undemanding office job that barely pays my bills, and spend a lot of time online... and, well, basically that's it. And they'd be like: So, ummm, that's what you left your country, all your friends, your romantic partner and your most favorite city in the world for???...Oh. Because no matter how happy I might be in my beautiful fantasy world at any given moment, the real, factual side of my current existence would still sound unutterably pathetic to anyone who hasn't heard from me in years. Especially if it happens to be someone who has actually done something productive/admirable with their life. So maybe I should just shove my sentimental urges back where they came from and leave those people alone. They probably have better uses for their time than trying to revive a long-dead friendship that was never very close in the first place. And let's not even go into how desperately lonely I would seem to them, just for contacting them randomly like that, after years of silence. I would probably just creep them out.:|

I wonder what a shrink would tell me about this whole issue. Or maybe I know. Maybe that's why I have such mixed feelings about it. Maybe I AM desperately lonely and just keep on clinging pathetically to the past. Yes, there is the beautiful online world of fantasy and fandom and unexpected human connections - but, to be perfectly honest, right now it's ALL I have. Take that away, and I am nothing. That's why I'm so scared of computer/internet problems. And in case anyone should wonder, I didn't even HAVE internet access back in Poland. I might have visited an internet cafe for an hour or two, once or twice a week. For the rest of the time, I actually socialized, talked, interacted with REAL people. Whom I now miss, even if all we ever did was chat casually at a gay bar. So there. Do with it what you will, Mr.Freud.;)

Don't I somehow seem to be contradicting myself a lot lately?... *frowns* Oh well. Must be the PMS. Or the fitful, uneasy sleep for the last couple nights. Speaking of which - it's bedtime again. Too soon, as usual.:/

Snagged from stormatdusk:

Comment and I'll--
1 - Tell you why I friended you.
2 - Associate you with something. A fandom, a song, a colour, a piece of fruit. SOMETHING.
3 - Tell you something I like about you.
4 - Tell you a memory I have of you.
5 - Associate you with a character/pairing.
6 - Ask something I've always wanted to know about you. (Or else I'll just ask a random question. I reserve that right.)
7 - Tell you my favorite user pic of yours.
8 - In return, you must spread this disease in your LJ.

So we had this meeting recently at work, where the boss showed us how to use this new fancy "employee absence tracker" computer program, and while we talked about that, it was brought to my attention that we have TEN sick days, as well as TEN vacation days and THREE personal days off available to use each year. Yes, even if it's the first year of employment (of course, those who have worked significantly longer have even more). I have to say that's more than I ever heard of at any other workplace. My best-paying job (the one that seemed so grand until they laid me off with no warning) offered 8 sickies, one personal day and about five days' vacation at the end of the first year - which I didn't use then, but waited till about the middle of the second year, so that I could take ten days off at a time. Now I have barely started, and I can already go on a two-week vacation this very summer (not that I have any plans what to do with that as of right now - but still, it's nice to know). As for the sickies, I would never use that many if I dutifully waited till I got really sick - so I took one today.:P I mean, I have my period, and I pretty much felt like shit this morning, so it wasn't completely unmotivated; but it's nothing I haven't dealt with before, and I could have gritted my teeth and gone to work, if I had to. Except I didn't.:D I mean, why sit there all day with an aching gut, if I can stay home, stretched out comfortably on my new, beautiful sofa bed, with a new, beautiful Viggorli fanzine for company, and still get paid??? A moot question, I guess.:P

Yes, my copy of the new fanzine is already in my possession; has been for some time (in fact, it arrived about two days after I ordered it, which is pretty amazing), but I have barely started on it. I mean to savor it slowly and deliciously over the next few weeks (so far, the two stories that hit me the most were the ones by rainweaver13 and namarie120 - but that is no surprise whatsoever, since these two talented ladies usually score very high with me ;P). After all, there were also about 30 new A/L treats over at the ficathon. I feel pretty much gorged on tasty slash right now.:D

( As for less pleasant topics... )

EDIT: I just ran a spell check on this post, which I hardly ever do - and here are some replacements it suggested for "Viggorli": Wiggle, Giggle, Jiggle, Gigolo and - lo and behold! - Viagra. *sporfle* Oh, the endless creativity of Microsoft.:D If I didn't know better, I could almost take it as a deliberate insult to my OTP. *shakes head, giggling helplessly, and goes back to regularly scheduled porn ;)*

So... I finally found the time to see a movie that Blockbuster Online sent me sometime about the middle of February.:) And it floored me. I mean, really. It's one of those independent European movies no-one's ever heard about - Danish, btw.;) After reading the blurb online I was somewhat curious about it, but didn't really expect it to be that good. Apparently I have developed a knack for fishing out the really good ones. Anyway... it's called Pretty Boy, and tells the story of a 13-year old who runs away from home and falls in with the 'bad crowd', so to speak. ( A very subtle study of a wide-eyed innocence falling prey to the evil world. )

OK. That's it for now. Bedtime again.:/

Oh, and on a side note, I have just ordered the new Viggorli zine.:) And I did vote for Slashy Oscars - and am very happy that some of my favorite stories won. I am also very excited about the upcoming A/L ficathon. Just a side note, in case anyone wondered whether I had forgotten that there is FANDOM out there.:P

Happy St.Patrick's Day to all the Paddies out there! :) I do have a soft spot for all things Irish. It's a long story, and I'll save it for another time, but just like I know I must have been Greek in a past life, I suspect I might have been Irish too.:D

I straightened up the place a bit today after all the unpacking/organizing madness, and tried out my brand-new vaccum cleaner (very small, and probably the cheapest model I could find; but I figure it's going to work just fine for a tiny apartment like this). Then I put some nice-smelling tealight candles into my brand-new stylish candleholder with lovely amber-tinted shades, and some atmospheric Celtic music into the player. So I'm feeling very ambient right now.:P

The radiators are going full blast, like they want to fry me alive; I have windows open and the humidifier on, and still I'm hot. *fans self* But I'm not going to complain, because I'm one of those cold-blooded people who'd much, much rather be a bit too warm than too chilly. *knocks on wood*

( As for the Yahoo problem... )