Floating Leaf

Strangely enough, after I made the previous angsty post, my mood improved quite a bit. Or maybe that was due to the phone conversation I had with a friend of mine (the only local friend I keep in touch with more or less regularly these days). It was a good conversation - very therapeutic (she happens to be a psychologist, which probably helped as well). We also talked about another mutual friend, who had been in a long-distance relationship that started online a while ago. The last time we spoke about her, she was on cloud nine about this guy, ready to have his children (this from someone who used to identify as a lesbian - I met her through a gay dating site, for God's sake - and never even thought of having kids before). But recently she went to visit him, and everything fell apart. I don't know the details - but I do know the three of us need to have a good lengthy face-to-face chat sometime soon. Hopefully it'll happen during the upcoming holiday weekend...

I am trying something new here, btw - drafting this post at work, since the office has been awfully quiet lately, with my boss on vacation and no urgent stuff to do. I never log into LJ during work hours - but I figured out I can use email draft to save whatever I manage to write, and then just copy/paste it into the LJ update box when I get home. Which definitely saves a lot of time. So I MAY be posting more in the near future...

As for the long overdue "real life" update that I've been meaning to make... it's rather mundane, but also strangely symbolic in the context of recent events ( (me? cryptic? whatever gave you THAT idea?... LOL) )

Did I mention summer?... Well... it lasted about two days this time. For most of this week, it's been quite cold again - it even SNOWED a tiny bit yesterday. No, I am not kidding. Just a handful of flakes, really - but dear Lord. In mid-May. O_O Fortunately, the building management had turned the heating back on before the temperature dropped too much. It's been on every night/morning since then... including today. This afternoon was warmer, though... so we will see what happens next...

I have a hard time focusing at work - it is as though my brain has gone on vacation already, and keeps obsessively running through the "to do" list (or pondering what to pack - will it be warm enough for summer clothes?... will it rain?... which of my sandals are the most comfortable for walking?... etc.etc.etc.). Last night I spontaneously decided to dye my hair - well, I've been meaning to do it for a while, but lacked motivation... until I realized we will be taking pictures, and I do want to look halfway decent on at least some of them, and a nice hair-color might help.:) So I did it, and it turned out rather pretty, if I say so myself. Bright, but not too vivid for my pasty complexion.;) The shade is called "copper blonde"; I have to remember this, because I usually assume that anything saying "blonde" isn't going to come out right on me... and so I get something darker, which then turns out way too intense/purplish for my skin. My natural hair color is a rather pale greyish brown at this point - so I can pull off lighter shades than I used to. Blondish reds come out almost golden...

Anyway - I stayed up too late fiddling with the hair, then woke up too early and couldn't sleep anymore.:/ Too much excitement, I suppose. I sooo need a break from the tedious everyday routine - but, unfortunately, my body/mind has the annoying habit of translating almost any breaks in routine into anxiety. I'm like a cat who freaks out because someone moved its favorite pillow; even if I am the one who decided to move said pillow, and so there's really no conceivable reason to complain about it. *sigh* My brain understands that, but apparently my body doesn't. Well, at least I got my acupuncture this morning, so my upper back isn't made of concrete... yet. *mirthless smirk*

The VC fan community over on Dreamwidth is still exploding - so many comments, so little time.:) And my most popular fic on AO3 - The Mirror - has 365 hits as of right now (!!!). I had never really entertained the concept of HUNDREDS of people reading my porny little snippets - so it is a bit of an "OMG I'm famous!!!" moment.;) LJ doesn't give you the number of hits, so I never really knew how many people read my stuff (beyond those few who took the time to comment). I'm still sort of struggling to wrap my head around that...;D

That is pretty much all the news I can focus on at the moment. Might still check in here before the trip - but then again, I might not. So please keep your fingers crossed for my sanity just in case...:P

OK, so I know I didn't post anything here last weekend. Despite having every intention to do so. I'm not even sure how that happened, considering I actually had Monday off, so it was a long weekend. Said Monday was spent running some errands, which included applying for a passport. I still don't know for sure that I will actually get to use it - but there is a good chance that I might, and I want to be prepared just in case.:) Cryptic, I know. But I really don't like to talk about things that aren't certain - call me superstitious if you like... *shrug*

This weekend was shorter, but more productive, despite (or maybe because of) the fact that I am plagued by PMS (sometimes it makes you useless, other times it gives you tons of nervous energy that must find an outlet). I shopped, I cooked (twice!... well, cooked and then made a salad), I did laundry... I even watched a movie. David Cronenberg's Cosmopolis. Which is absurdly brilliant - or brilliantly absurd, however you want to look at it. I mean, for the first 5 minutes I was all, "OK, WHY did I decide to watch this?"... but then at some point I started clapping and squealing with laughter. Which possibly proves that my own sense of humor is nearly as twisted as Cronenberg's (or his favorite actor Viggo Mortensen's... LOL). Anyway... I loved it, as disturbing as it was, and I watched the entire lengthy "making of" featurette too, for good measure.:)

Also, summer seems to have finally arrived. As of yesterday. We barely had any spring to speak of, but apparently it's summer now. Who needs spring anyway - it's so last century... *sigh* Don't get me wrong - yesterday the weather was beautiful, and it felt sooo good to go outside in a summer outfit, for the first time in God knows how many months... but today was just grey, muggy and suffocating, much like it often happens here in July/August. No transition period whatsoever. It's like May has been cancelled, and we are stepping from early April right into late June, or something. But then, what do I know - it could be cold again tomorrow...

I just want nice weather two weeks from now - not necessarily here, even, only in New York City.:D Yes, I will be there in less than two weeks. O_O I try not to drive myself crazy angsting about various travel-related things (like going through airport security, for example - which I haven't done since 2009, and which is possibly much less pleasant now than it was at the time).

Oh, and I am also permanently distracted by Skype (honestly, I can only think of ONE day in the past week or two where I didn't send or receive any Skype messages at all). And the VC community on Dreamwidth (yes, I did help a certain someone prepare ANOTHER discussion post about The Vampire Lestat recently, why do you ask?...;P). And AO3, where I have put up a few of my Aragorn/Legolas ficlets. Which are getting lots of kudos, I might add. I also wrote another drabble in the VC fandom. So yeah, I definitely have enough stuff on my plate to justify letting my LJ participation lapse a bit. But I still feel bad about it... *sigh*

Just got back from visiting my parents for Easter. Went there last night, to spend more time with them, especially since my sister & brother-in-law were also going then. Mom was happy, because she likes to have everyone together for breakfast on Easter Sunday, instead of just lunch/dinner. The weather was incredibly mild, at long last; I hardly needed the jacket I brought with me just in case. We pigged out to a ridiculous degree, as usual; but I am happy to report a lack of indigestion or other unpleasant consequences so far.;) I just felt a little sluggish in the afternoon, so I took a nap. And I slept rather well last night, too - which isn't always the case when I stay at their house. Even if the pillow was too soft, which isn't good for my neck...

Luckily, I am off work tomorrow and I have my chiropractic appointment in the morning. If the weather stays nice, I might go see a movie later on (Only Lovers Left Alive). But it is supposed to rain, so I might just stay home and cook/dye my hair/catch up on teh internetz.;) Or, you know, create an AO3 account and start posting my fic there. Because I just got an invite.:) I only have 3 drabbles to put up in the VC fandom so far... but I can post some of my LOTR stuff, too. I have a few ficlets I am rather proud of, if I say so myself - and they have only been shared here, in this journal, and on two friends-locked Aragorn/Legolas slash communities so far. I don't mind if more people get to see them.:D Can you guess someone's been telling me to be more appreciative of myself?... LOL.

Speaking of which... burnadette_dpdl is visiting NOLA with her mom this weekend - and despite having warned me that she might be entirely out of touch until her return on Tuesday night, has been reporting to me directly via text/email/Skype since day one.:D So I almost feel as if I am there with her. Which is really nice - considering the fact I was a bit miffed (to put it mildly, LOL) we couldn't go together. Well... not this time.;P

Also, my mom suggested today that perhaps their plan of buying an apartment building including a flat for me isn't going to work out after all. ( Read more... )

My plane tickets to New York have been booked. It still feels surreal, but now I have proof that I didn't actually imagine the entire thing.;)

Also, today is the first day in at least a week that I haven't used Skype at all. A few nights ago, I actually found myself chatting simultaneously on Skype with burnadette_dpdl AND cloudsinvenice (yes, she lives across the Atlantic, but she was having insomnia and decided to say hello :). Which was more manageable and fun than I expected it to be.;)

I even got a Skype message from some random guy whose username didn't ring any bells at all, and whom I instantly blocked. Only pre-approved contacts, plz! By the way, none of my old Polish friends have followed my suggestion to GET ON SKYPE ALREADY, and somehow I don't think they will. Oh well. That only means they have to wait until I find the time to email them again...

The weather is improving slowly. Still rather cold, but at least the sun came out. SOOO tired of wearing winter clothes. Especially considering I haven't gone shopping for any new ones since... I don't even know when. I'm pretty sure I haven't been on a single "retail therapy" trip all winter. It was just too cold and disgusting to go out on weekends. Plus, I had enough stimulating activities to occupy me at home (the Vampire Chronicles fandom and SKYPE, of course :D). But I desperately need a new set of bathroom rugs... and I could also use a whole bunch of other stuff. Too bad I just spent almost $200 at Whole Foods (had to restock on some toiletries, vitamins, herbal remedies etc.). *sigh* (in addition to booking the abovementioned plane tickets, I might point out) So I really should go easy on my credit card for a while...

Took Monday off next week, because apparently I need an extra day to manage cleaning, laundry and other household tasks (spending massive chunks of time on the interwebz/Skype chats might possibly account for this... but you can't really expect me to prioritize dealing with dirty underwear OVER discussing matters of LIFE and DEATH like vampire-themed fanfic and/or fanart, now can you?...;P). Plus, I have a lot of PTO, and the boss already warned us NOT to save any significant amounts of it for December, since we are going to be very busy then, and she might not be able to approve any vacation requests for more than 1-2 days at a time. Which is why I am taking a whole week off around my 3-day trip in May. So I will have plenty of time to pack and get ready without rushing around in a frenzy... and then also plenty of time to recover from the experience after I return.:D Not that it's likely to stop me from experiencing major travel-angst at some point... but it just might be a little easier to handle than it would be if I had to rush. So I am very glad it's a luxury I can afford...

Had jury duty today. The "rescheduled" appointment from January. Didn't mention it here ahead of time because I felt really, really apprehensive about it, and if they had put me on a jury, I would have totally believed it was due to the fact I "jinxed" it by posting about it. But I was lucky, again, despite the fact that my panel WAS called into a courtroom. Which happened right before lunchtime, btw. They told us they still needed to finalize some details before they could begin the jury selection process... so we were instructed to take lunch and then come back to the courtroom. Whereupon they told us that the matter had been resolved "short of a trial", and we were therefore all free to go home. You should have heard the collective sigh of relief of the 30 or so people in the room... LOL.

So I actually got home much earlier than I would have if I had gone to work. Which was truly appreciated, since it meant I could get some cooking done (I invented a strange one-pot dish that came together surprisingly well, if I say so myself ;D), and then STILL have time for a two-hour Skype call discussing The Vampire Lestat (or, to be precise, helping the indefatigable burnadette_dpdl prepare the next discussion post about it for the VC comm). So, it's been an immensely productive day.:D And now, I need SLEEP (got up at 5:45 AM OMG, do I get points for that?... took a three-bus ride halfway across town and GOT THERE 15 MINUTES EARLY, DO YOU HEAR??? that is UNPRECEDENTED. I need a medal, pronto). *massive yawn*

Hah. It seems I couldn't have chosen a better time to rekindle my love for the VC fandom. Which, I thought, was nearly dead when I first dove back into it about two years ago. And which is now at an absolute peak of activity due to the recent announcement of Anne Rice's new vampire series. Yep. Believe it or not - or Google it if you don't - but there is a novel called Prince Lestat, due to be released at the end of October. Whether that is in fact a good thing, remains open for debate - and there IS a major debate raging on, let me tell you - but one thing seems certain: the news has brought fandom to frenetic life, and what I see happening around me now is pretty much the same glorious madness I remember from my most intense LOTR years (2004-2006 or thereabouts). Who knew? Life is such a ridiculous party train sometimes. Not in my wildest thoughts could I have anticipated this... any more than I could have anticipated meeting someone who would seem unable to go through the day without making at least some sort of contact with me, some sort of acknowledgement of our shared obsession. It always seemed like the kind of thing that happened to OTHER people. You know, the OUTGOING crowd. I could only witness it from a distance and blink in amazement. And yet, it happened so easily, almost before I knew it. Of course, there was a gradual buildup, and the same applies to fandom activity in general... but from where I stand right now, it looks like an explosion, a crazy supernova. Keeping up with it requires pretty much all the time and energy I have at my disposal. Obviously, I still feel the urge to post in here, or I wouldn't be doing it; but carving out the time for it is becoming more and more of a challenge. Just saying...

On the RL front, my workplace is moving. Our lease on the current office space expires at the end of the year, and we won't be renewing, because they managed to figure out a better deal somewhere else. ( Read more... )

Just a brief post today, because I can't resist sharing something. An alternate title for Interview with the Vampire. It's a collaboration. The Photoshop skills on display belong to burnadette_dpdl, but the actual "alternate title" idea was MINE. It's just something that came up in a recent conversation... and now, apparently, it's quite a hit on Tumblr.:D Ahhh, how do I deal with sudden internet fame???... *gigglesnort*

My heartfelt thanks to everyone who offered hugs under my previous post. Thankfully, my strange bout of despair was as brief as it was intense. It pretty much dissipated by the middle of next day, LOL. Which in itself is kind of alarming. Not that I'm complaining about feeling better, mind you - that would be really pushing it, even for me.;) But I am just not used to such abrupt mood swings. I didn't have them when I was younger. I wonder if this might be a sign of approaching menopause...

Anyway... I had today off (President's Day is an official holiday at my workplace), so it's been a long weekend. Weather is still too crappy for any non-essential shopping trips or other outings (snow, wind and more snow... blargh) - but that meant plenty of time to deal with cooking, laundry and some email catch-up. And, of course, Skype. A LOT of Skype. I actually talked to my oldest friend today - or, my best friend since elementary school. We hadn't spoken in a few years. She contacted me through another mutual friend I still keep in touch with, and I tried to call her on the phone, but for some reason couldn't get connected... so I looked into the Skype user manual, and found you could call landlines AND mobiles internationally from your computer. So I put in ten bucks of Skype credit and dialed her cell. Again, ten times better reception than I would have on my phone. We talked for half an hour, and it cost me about 40 cents. This is AWESOME. She is going to install Skype, too, btw. And I also gave my Skype contact to ANOTHER old friend across the ocean who just emailed me after a few months of silence. I predict a LOT of virtual socializing in my immediate future... LOL.

And now, bedtime. I wanted to say more, but as you may have guessed by now, I was busy SKYPING. No video this time, just text; but now that I look back at the conversation, I can see that it started around 5:00 p.m. And ended just now, around 11 p.m. With a few small breaks for looking up stuff online, snacking etc. And it didn't feel like a very long conversation at all. Because it was just a part of Our Conversation that never really ends...

Hi, this is a message from Insomnia Central. Too Buzzed To Sleep. I am resisting the urge to send this message out via Skype. I am also resisting the urge to howl at the moon, which is very full and very bright, glaring into my window. Hello, Moon. Do you think I can call in sick (= mentally deranged) to work this morning?... Or should I just waltz in there in Full Zombie Mode, with a huge dopey grin on my face?... (and then promptly collapse, snoring, with my cheek against the keyboard?) Sounds like fun, oui?... *resounding headdesk*