Floating Leaf

So... here's the latest RL scoop: work kinda sucks and the weather is lousy as hell, but neither seems to have much effect upon my mood. I am in a good, happy, creative mental place that sort of amazes me with its endless supply of comfort. I seem to be learning a new meaning of the word "inspired". Speaking of which... I wrote a new ficlet today. It was an easy, joyful and extremely pleasant experience of channeling my favorite elf, so to speak.;) I will post it soonish.:)

In other news, the building management is trying to freeze me to death. They don't care how cold it is outside - when the heating season is officially over, it is over, come what may. Last night, I found myself shivering despite a thick fleece pajama top worn OVER my sweater, and my feet were numb inside woolen socks plus big fluffy slippers. I just couldn't take it anymore. So I went out to a nearby pharmacy/convenience store and bought an electric space heater. A little portable one, for about 25 bucks. I will probably only need it for a week or so... but what the hell. It is saving my life at the moment. It's right here by my side, blowing hot air straight at my permanently freezing feet. Heaven.:P

Also, I should probably take note of the fact that after being creative in the fanfic realm today, I proceeded to be creative in the kitchen. ( Read more... )

I might also mention that I finally saw Fight Club. ( Read more... )

So ends my fascinating RL update. A/L to follow within the week, hopefully.:D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, surreysmum!!! I wish you swift, painless recovery, lots of exciting books & movies to enjoy and endless writing inspiration!... (from which we may all benefit ;D) Here's a little visual stimulation to get the muses going:

( hot guys under the cut )

Just a poem today, which I wrote at work this morning. Or rather it wrote itself, while I was staring blankly at a pile of circulation audits.:P

( Am I inspired or what?... LOL )

So... I'll be going to my parents' house for Easter tomorrow. I'm not particularly looking forward to it, since I have to stay overnight (dad's neurologist appointment is on Monday, and it wouldn't make sense to drive back here tomorrow night only to drive back there the next day - it's over 40 miles one way, after all) - but I guess I'll find something to occupy myself. I might actually use the time to go through all the stuff in my old bedroom and decide what should go in the recycling bin - or make a dent in my sister's impressive gothic novel bookshelf.;) They do have a computer, btw, but it's situated in a very "public" area of the house - so I don't expect to be able to do much more than perhaps check my email. And I probably won't be responding to comments and stuff until Monday night or later (depending on what time I get back here etc.).

In other news, we had another company meeting at work this week, and our CEO announced that, financially speaking, we are slowly getting out of the dump and that there will be raises in July. No more than 2%, probably, but we haven't had any since 2008, so we'll take that, thank you very much. *relieved sigh* Oh, and btw: the management of my apartment building did get their act together and send me the lease renewal, only about a month late.:P And they did NOT raise my rent. I think they are very anxious to keep the tenants that they've got at this point, because there are several empty apartments in my building alone. Anyway - there is hope that my bank account will not reach negative balance.;) Unless my car breaks down again, that is - which it hasn't done in a while. *knocks on wood fiercely*

Also, I've added another wonderful recipe to my list of favorites: Mexican Sweet Potato & Black Bean Salad, with chipotle-chili dressing. OMG... yummmm.:D It has a rich taste, with just the right balance between heat and sweetness. It's also pretty quick & easy, as well as equally delicious either warm or cold. Definitely a keeper.:D

Oh, and I've finally seen Michael Moore's Sicko - but I'm not sure if I want to write about it. I would probably end up ranting for hours, and I don't really have the time. ( Read more... )

And one more thing, just to end on a positive note: I LOVE MY FLIST, and I love LJ in general. There are some absolutely amazing people on it. Some of my most wonderful friendships started here, and I can't think of a better way to CONNECT on a very deep level. Which reminds me of this conversation I had recently with a coworker. We were talking about the internet and various ways of online interaction, as well as being anonymous versus revealing your legal name on a public forum etc. - and I said that I usually prefer to use a nick, unless I have a deeper personal connection with someone. Whereupon my coworker stared at me like I was insane. "Deeper personal connection? Through THIS???", he asked incredulously, pointing at his computer screen. He just couldn't fathom what on earth I was trying to say. Well... I wasn't about to go into any details of fanfic porn and general awesome silliness/mental exhibitionism that goes on in these parts, LOL. So I'll just let him think that I am slightly off my rocker. And I will never tell him that my flist actually includes people who have met their SIGNIFICANT OTHER through LJ and are now LIVING TOGETHER as couples in real life, because they first had a deep personal connection through THIS.;) Just saying.

Oh, and THANK YOU for more postcards, dissonant_dream! They are gorgeous. Especially the one from Charlecote Park. Oh, how I'd love to live close to such a beautiful spot!... Damn, I miss Europe so much. Not just Poland by itself, but all of Europe - including places I've never been to, LOL. I miss historic areas, cultural atmosphere, my friends... everything. It's just... displacement syndrome, I has it.:(

Have to go do some cooking now. I might be able to respond to some comments later tonight, but if not, then I will hopefully catch up with them sometime next week. The main addressee of this cryptic remark certainly knows who she is.:D <333

So I've been reading this blog... real stories of women who broke free from religious fundamentalism after years of brainwashing and abuse. I found it by pure accident - the blog's founder, Vyckie Garrison, left a comment under an article I was reading on AlterNet.org, with a link to her site. I clicked on it out of pure curiosity - and ended up getting hooked for weeks, devouring the stories with my jaw hanging open most of the time. I had never even heard of the "Quiverfull" movement - let alone that it was gaining popularity in the US these days. Get it: there are actually increasing numbers of people who willingly adopt a "biblical" lifestyle, based on the "ideal" of the wife's complete submission to the will of her husband, as well as the desire to "leave family planning to the Lord" and have as many kids as the Lord sees fit, regardless of how the endless pregnancies might impact the woman's health and wellbeing. Now, at the time when the Earth is seriously overpopulated and poverty in many countries, including this one, reaches a new low. The mind boggles. This blog is a resource for women who have been sucked into this mire and want to get away, or who are trying to find themselves after getting away - a therapeutic retreat and a warning. Click on the link below to read the introductory post by Vyckie, where she explains how the site came into being:

http://nolongerquivering.com/about/

Alarmingly, the women who end up joining this movement are in no way stupid or easily deceived. Vyckie herself, as evident from her posts, is incredibly smart, thoughtful, well-read and strong-minded - and yet, it took a suicide attempt by her eldest daughter to make her start questioning the "rightness" of the life she was leading (despite her own deteriorating health from multiple pregnancies and lack of proper medical care). The site's co-founder, Laura, is another stunning example: raised by TWO LESBIANS (can you imagine a more open-minded upbringing?...), she still somehow managed to get married to a fundamentalist guy, get locked up in an isolated farmhouse and have 11 children, who then weren't even allowed to see their grandmother until she "gave up her sinful lifestyle". Fortunately for everyone involved, Laura "recovered" (after much pain and disillusionment, of course) and is now happily married to someone else, while both her children AND her parents still have a place in her life. Other stories are less positive in outcome. All in all, an absolutely fascinating read. Sometimes I can't tear myself away even if there is new V/O fic popping up on my flist - and that REALLY is saying something.:P

In more mundane news, I FINALLY found THE RIGHT shampoo for my wayward hair. ( Read more... )

Happy St. Patrick's to all the Irish on my flist and anyone else who celebrates it for whatever reason.:) *waves a shamrock*

I am stuck at home today due to yet another plumbing disaster. This is becoming some sort of a neverending saga: if it's not the tub, then it's the kitchen sink, and if it's neither the kitchen sink nor the tub, then it has to be the bathroom sink. This time, it is the kitchen sink. Completely clogged since last night. As in, standing water that has to be scooped out every once in a while, because yes, the dripping tap that has been "fixed" several times already is dripping AGAIN, and so the water level is actually RISING. When I got up this morning, the sink was filled almost to the brim. No way could I just leave it like this and go to work. So I took the day off (at that rate, I'm going to use up all my personal/vacation time by mid-year :/) and called building management. No one picked up the phone. I left a message. Three hours later, I called again. Left another message. No call back so far. The OTHER number I have for maintenance issues is giving me an automated voicemail saying that they're "not available" right now and that they will respond ON THE NEXT BUSINESS DAY - unless it's an emergency. Which, theoretically, it isn't - as long as I am here, scooping the water out every 3-4 hours. Fun fun fun.:/

In other news, I found this random blog entry about Tanith Lee - a British fantasy author I've been reading, on and off, for the past few years. ( Read more... )

ETA: I finally got a call from the building management, sometime after 2 p.m. The plumber arrived after 5 p.m. He brought several massive pieces of equipment, including a gigantic bucket, and cleaned out the mess in record time. The tap's still dripping, because this is old plumbing and the replacement parts are not that easy to obtain at a moment's notice - but at least the water is going DOWN... Hallelujah.:) I can cook now, without having to worry what on earth I'm going to do with the resulting mountain of dirty dishes (washing them in the bathtub seemed decidedly unappealing... *shudder*). So, on to make a delicious Mediterranean chicken salad (with red onion and pear slices and crumbled feta cheese and walnuts and garlic croutons and all kinds of good stuff, yay). *slurp*

Btw... the three pounds I had previously gained in a week? They're gone. Last week's nervous tension ate them. Give me just a little bit of stress, and my angsty quivering burns the calories off like there's no tomorrow. Guess when I had the best figure? Yeah, during that epically toxic saga of my first "romantic" relationship. Not a healthy way to stay in shape, by any stretch - but I certainly hadn't heard of a wholesome diet at that point in my life, and yet I was skinny as a supermodel. As well as severely neurotic, desperately disturbed and obsessively unhappy, but yeah... the looks, I had them. Not that the price was worth it or anything... but it's a fact of life for me. I only have to watch what I eat when I am in a happy, peaceful state of mind. Weird but true. Just saying.

Holy crap. I swear these were THE LONGEST two days since I started this job. I just... I can't even remember the last time I felt this exhausted. I've been running on pure adrenaline since yesterday morning. I couldn't have gone on like this for much longer... in fact, I was seriously considering "coming down with a cold" for the rest of the week. A cowardly escape, surely, but I was at the end of my rope, endurance-wise. ( Read more... )

Firstly, I want to thank everyone who wished me Happy Birthday.:) I got quite a few nice surprises this year: a beautiful A/L ficlet from surreysmum, baloons and a lovely note from illuins_lair (who is a new person on my flist, but boy, have we hit it off like a house on fire... LOL), snail mail card with jumping dolphins from dissonant_dream and a cute banner from akashaelfwitch. I love you guys. *squish*

Secondly, I'm having a minor anxiety attack right now. Or rather, a major one that has sort of abated for a bit, but is very likely to come back full force tomorrow. ( Or on Tuesday, at the latest. )

In honor of Aragorn's birthday...





And because I have a hand fetish:

And now for something entirely different. I have stumbled upon this fascinating article about emotional abusers. Fascinating because up until now, I wasn't quite aware that this is what I went through at some point in my life, that it is so well defined and has such a clinical term attached to it. Emotional abuse. According to the article's author, it is no less damaging than its physical equivalent - though far less obvious and sometimes hard to detect or defend yourself against. Especially if you're young, clueless and totally inexperienced, relationship-wise - like I was at the time. Reading this article tripped me out, because I kept recognizing one thing after another. I wish could have read it 15 years ago - not that it would have helped, necessarily, but you know. It's just... perhaps it would have made me realize that I wasn't alone in this, and that it REALLY, REALLY wasn't my fault (I know that now, I've known that for years - but I didn't know it back then, and I can't help thinking that MAYBE things would have been different if I did). So anyway... here's the link:

http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/manipulator/emotional_abuse.shtml

The whole text is rather long, and fortunately only parts of it apply in my case. So I am just going to copy-paste some relevant fragments below.

If you are in a relationship where you have a sick sense that SOMETHING is wrong, but somehow it's always YOUR fault, and you find yourself always tring to "fix" things, this article may be for you. ( Read more... )